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Cheating wife

Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,068
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6/11/2016 4:32:01 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
Has she tried marriage counseling?
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Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/11/2016 10:02:00 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:32:01 AM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
Has she tried marriage counseling?

I asked her that and according to her she has "tried" but I guess her spouse is dragging his foot. She claims she is not emotionally there anymore.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical
SoullessRobin
Posts: 29
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6/12/2016 2:21:23 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

She is cheating switch is unethical. There is no excuse to cheat. If she lost all love towards him or nor longer connection. She should leave the marriage. That's the right the to do, then hide and go behind your partners back.

She is lying to herself and lying to him. I am in a full agreement with you what she is doing in not right. If your partner is no longer interested and you no longer interest to your partner. It's time to separate.
matt8800
Posts: 2,077
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6/12/2016 9:50:17 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

I have had friends that were otherwise good people that went through periods of cheating. Cheating is extremely common.

Leave it alone and let them work it out however they want.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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6/13/2016 6:10:09 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Yes.

I think you need to remember that your perception is limited to your very little information (of the entire situation) and experience. I used to think that cheating was the worst possible thing that someone could do, that I would never do it, or that I would never forgive it. Yet I have both cheated and been cheated on, and my relationship did not end in either scenario. As you experience more, you realize that life and relationships are very complex.

There is not a definitive right and wrong in every scenario. One's values (based on their experience) dictate how they see a given situation. For example, if you are looking at it from the perspective that cheating = betrayal, than cheating would look morally abhorrent. However if you believe in rational self-interest... or living to make one's self happy within confusing situations, to find a little temporary relief or understanding... you might understand one's decision or weakness to cheat.

Good people can do sh!tty things or things you don't always understand. It's up to you to speak your mind but also remember that your point of view is not the be-all, end-all of righteousness. It would be unethical for you to keep your mouth shut about what you believe it right, but it would be unfair for you to judge your friend while not understanding the ins and outs of her life and relationships. Speak your peace, but remind your friend that she should assess her values and figure out what to do based on what she believes is most important to her, personally.

Another thing: ask your friend how she would feel if her husband found out. Also tell her to pretend that her husband would definitively find out within X amount of time (say 2 weeks). That should encourage her to think about how she wants to handle it, and hopefully take action sooner rather than later for everyone's sake, including her own. But remember - ending a marriage is a big deal, so it's not a decision to take lightly. I understand your friend's confusion, but I don't necessarily condone her dishonesty. Still, I know damn well I can't judge her in good conscience. There are too many unknown variables and subjective values + personal bias.
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Syko
Posts: 393
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6/13/2016 6:38:29 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 6:10:09 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Yes.

You sound like a hard-core humanist. Imo there's high potential for danger in the advice that you gave due to the fact that it's very focused on short term goals, just like most humanistic philosophies. A marriage break up isn't a conclusion you should reach on the basis of how you feel at the time, given how rapidly emotions tend to change. More than likely, basing such big decisions on the idea of 'I do what I desire' will lead to regret.

I recently had a break up too and concluded that the focus on the 'here and now' was largely to blame for the lack of ability to cope when we were separated. Tbh my advice to the OP is to ignore temporary feelings of discomfort in a relationship and think long term. A marriage is not something you toss out because you're having a rough patch. Stick with it even if it's hurting for a while, because it's unlikely to last.

That being said, I don't mean to encourage staying in a clearly toxic relationship. I'd simply suggest that whatever your friend is going through is not as significant as you think, and if you encourage her to make any rash decisions now, she's likely going to regret them.
For Mother Russia.
Carolean_Karl
Posts: 60
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6/13/2016 6:14:09 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

If you think you have the relationship that would warrant you telling her what to do in this situation, I would say that if she doesn't love her husband anymore, and doesn't have children with him or any other long-term commitments, then why is she still married? If her husband is slow going on a divorce, then why doesn't she tell him she's found someone else and wants out already? If she doesn't have an answer to these questions, then she may be getting off on some filthy thrill because the rest of her life is too stressful. This situation will not end well unless she tells her husband that she doesn't love him anymore and has been cheating on him.

My advice would be to tell her to be honest with her husband, however hurtful it may be, and try to get a divorce. If she doesn't want to hurt her husband then tell her she should have thought of that before cheating on him - she has made decisions and now must own up to them. Honesty is painful but it's quick (like pulling off a band-aide) and it's best for everyone involved in the long run. At least everyone can get on with their lives faster. FYI This is just my best guess on what should be done.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/13/2016 10:43:28 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical

Cheating is unethical because people get hurt...NEXT!
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/13/2016 10:45:28 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/12/2016 2:21:23 PM, SoullessRobin wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

She is cheating switch is unethical. There is no excuse to cheat. If she lost all love towards him or nor longer connection. She should leave the marriage. That's the right the to do, then hide and go behind your partners back.

She is lying to herself and lying to him. I am in a full agreement with you what she is doing in not right. If your partner is no longer interested and you no longer interest to your partner. It's time to separate.

Agreed. I spoke to her this morning and I laid it out to her that as her friend what she is doing is not right. She made the claim that they have a house together and blah blah blah and that divorcing him will take time (which I am sure). I asked her does he know you're cheating on him and according to her he doesn't. Man her situation makes me not want to be married.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/13/2016 10:53:15 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 6:10:09 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Yes.

I think you need to remember that your perception is limited to your very little information (of the entire situation) and experience. I used to think that cheating was the worst possible thing that someone could do, that I would never do it, or that I would never forgive it. Yet I have both cheated and been cheated on, and my relationship did not end in either scenario. As you experience more, you realize that life and relationships are very complex.

There is not a definitive right and wrong in every scenario. One's values (based on their experience) dictate how they see a given situation. For example, if you are looking at it from the perspective that cheating = betrayal, than cheating would look morally abhorrent. However if you believe in rational self-interest... or living to make one's self happy within confusing situations, to find a little temporary relief or understanding... you might understand one's decision or weakness to cheat.

Good people can do sh!tty things or things you don't always understand. It's up to you to speak your mind but also remember that your point of view is not the be-all, end-all of righteousness. It would be unethical for you to keep your mouth shut about what you believe it right, but it would be unfair for you to judge your friend while not understanding the ins and outs of her life and relationships. Speak your peace, but remind your friend that she should assess her values and figure out what to do based on what she believes is most important to her, personally.

Another thing: ask your friend how she would feel if her husband found out. Also tell her to pretend that her husband would definitively find out within X amount of time (say 2 weeks). That should encourage her to think about how she wants to handle it, and hopefully take action sooner rather than later for everyone's sake, including her own. But remember - ending a marriage is a big deal, so it's not a decision to take lightly. I understand your friend's confusion, but I don't necessarily condone her dishonesty. Still, I know damn well I can't judge her in good conscience. There are too many unknown variables and subjective values + personal bias.

I agree. My information is limited to what SHE tells me but whether or not she is detailed in that information is besides the point. I think her cheating is wrong. There are good and bad human beings but she is wrong plain and simple. There is no point in having a "f**k buddy" if you are married especially since she (or him) have declared their relationship to be polyamorous.

My duty as a real friend is to speak the truth and be honest when I'm aware of a dishonest situation, because as I see it, if the shoe was on the other foot I would want my friend(s) to be honest with me. Sometimes we are blinded by our own vices we do not see reality for what it is. My friend uses excuses like "well, I've been cheated on too!" As if her past infidelities justifies the current one. I feel like two people end up getting hurt out of situations like this, my friend, and her husband.

She clearly told me that she doesn't want to work out her relationship, but is slow to get a divorce. Her husband has to know she is cheating especially since they're not intimate.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/13/2016 10:58:37 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 6:38:29 AM, Syko wrote:
At 6/13/2016 6:10:09 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Yes.

You sound like a hard-core humanist. Imo there's high potential for danger in the advice that you gave due to the fact that it's very focused on short term goals, just like most humanistic philosophies. A marriage break up isn't a conclusion you should reach on the basis of how you feel at the time, given how rapidly emotions tend to change. More than likely, basing such big decisions on the idea of 'I do what I desire' will lead to regret.

I recently had a break up too and concluded that the focus on the 'here and now' was largely to blame for the lack of ability to cope when we were separated. Tbh my advice to the OP is to ignore temporary feelings of discomfort in a relationship and think long term. A marriage is not something you toss out because you're having a rough patch. Stick with it even if it's hurting for a while, because it's unlikely to last.

That being said, I don't mean to encourage staying in a clearly toxic relationship. I'd simply suggest that whatever your friend is going through is not as significant as you think, and if you encourage her to make any rash decisions now, she's likely going to regret them.

Where in my post have I indicated any advice I gave to my friend aside of my current responses? I'm confused at what dangerous advice I have given. Anyway, the only piece of advice I gave her aside from suggesting marriage counseling, or a personal psychologist for herself, I cautioned her that her actions can cause harm to her potential ex-spouse.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/13/2016 11:17:33 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 10:43:28 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical

Cheating is unethical because people get hurt...NEXT!

Not if her husband doesn't find out. Plus she may have an arrangement with him where zhe can cheat on him and he doesn't mind
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/13/2016 11:30:38 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 11:17:33 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:43:28 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical

Cheating is unethical because people get hurt...NEXT!

Not if her husband doesn't find out. Plus she may have an arrangement with him where zhe can cheat on him and he doesn't mind

Regardless if he doesn't know, psychologically the person doing the cheating mentally is aware of her deception is harmful whether the person experiences the harm or not. Imagine if the deception went on for years and the person eventually finds out could be more devastating. Point is cheating in a supposed monogamous relationship is unethical and illogical. It is unethical for reasons I just mentioned and illogical because the relationship is supposed to be monogamous.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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6/13/2016 11:37:18 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 11:30:38 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/13/2016 11:17:33 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:43:28 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical

Cheating is unethical because people get hurt...NEXT!

Not if her husband doesn't find out. Plus she may have an arrangement with him where zhe can cheat on him and he doesn't mind


Regardless if he doesn't know, psychologically the person doing the cheating mentally is aware of her deception is harmful whether the person experiences the harm or not. Imagine if the deception went on for years and the person eventually finds out could be more devastating. Point is cheating in a supposed monogamous relationship is unethical and illogical. It is unethical for reasons I just mentioned and illogical because the relationship is supposed to be monogamous.

Or imagine if the person cheating has fun and is never caught and no harm ever comes from it. Imagine how much more hurt he would be from a breakup instead of some incidents he never knew about and will never know about.

Imagine if he is turned on by cheating and she is down, and this arrangement is fun and improves their love life.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/14/2016 12:25:40 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 11:37:18 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/13/2016 11:30:38 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/13/2016 11:17:33 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:43:28 PM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:52:26 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 6/11/2016 4:23:02 AM, Hiu wrote:
I have a friend who is currently cheating on her husband. She is justifying it by saying that she is not romantically in love with him and that, their arrangement is strictly like a roommate situation. I personally have an issue with it because she is confused. She claims that he "arrangement" with this person is a weakness and purely sexual, yet she is slow in getting out of her marriage. Her so-called female best friend isn't really encouraging her to get out of her marriage due to her own issues with her marriage. I personally do not understand why some women do not tell their friends they're wrong. Yet I have told her many times she is wrong.

Anyone have any advice or know of anyone in a similar situation?

Your friend's sex life is none of your business, nor is whatever freaky agreement she may or may not have with her husband any of your business.

Nor have you made the case that she is doing anything unethical

Cheating is unethical because people get hurt...NEXT!

Not if her husband doesn't find out. Plus she may have an arrangement with him where zhe can cheat on him and he doesn't mind


Regardless if he doesn't know, psychologically the person doing the cheating mentally is aware of her deception is harmful whether the person experiences the harm or not. Imagine if the deception went on for years and the person eventually finds out could be more devastating. Point is cheating in a supposed monogamous relationship is unethical and illogical. It is unethical for reasons I just mentioned and illogical because the relationship is supposed to be monogamous.

Or imagine if the person cheating has fun and is never caught and no harm ever comes from it. Imagine how much more hurt he would be from a breakup instead of some incidents he never knew about and will never know about.

Imagine if he is turned on by cheating and she is down, and this arrangement is fun and improves their love life.

I think your justification for cheating is sickening. Then again, I am not surprised.
ford_prefect
Posts: 4,138
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6/14/2016 1:33:20 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
The husband should take her out in the middle of nowhere, have his friends gang rape her and then leave her there.
Syko
Posts: 393
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6/14/2016 1:45:33 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 10:58:37 PM, Hiu wrote:
Where in my post have I indicated any advice I gave to my friend aside of my current responses? I'm confused at what dangerous advice I have given. Anyway, the only piece of advice I gave her aside from suggesting marriage counseling, or a personal psychologist for herself, I cautioned her that her actions can cause harm to her potential ex-spouse.

The dangerous advice was a part of a response directed at another member, not yourself.
For Mother Russia.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/14/2016 2:33:40 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 1:45:33 AM, Syko wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:58:37 PM, Hiu wrote:
Where in my post have I indicated any advice I gave to my friend aside of my current responses? I'm confused at what dangerous advice I have given. Anyway, the only piece of advice I gave her aside from suggesting marriage counseling, or a personal psychologist for herself, I cautioned her that her actions can cause harm to her potential ex-spouse.

The dangerous advice was a part of a response directed at another member, not yourself.

I'm confused at what the dangerous advice I gave her was. I'm scrolling back and don't see nothing out of the ordinary.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/14/2016 2:33:57 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 1:33:20 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
The husband should take her out in the middle of nowhere, have his friends gang rape her and then leave her there.

damn!
Syko
Posts: 393
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6/14/2016 2:34:34 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 2:33:40 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/14/2016 1:45:33 AM, Syko wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:58:37 PM, Hiu wrote:
Where in my post have I indicated any advice I gave to my friend aside of my current responses? I'm confused at what dangerous advice I have given. Anyway, the only piece of advice I gave her aside from suggesting marriage counseling, or a personal psychologist for herself, I cautioned her that her actions can cause harm to her potential ex-spouse.

The dangerous advice was a part of a response directed at another member, not yourself.

I'm confused at what the dangerous advice I gave her was. I'm scrolling back and don't see nothing out of the ordinary.

Danielle was the member I directed that comment at.
For Mother Russia.
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/14/2016 2:39:48 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 2:34:34 AM, Syko wrote:
At 6/14/2016 2:33:40 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 6/14/2016 1:45:33 AM, Syko wrote:
At 6/13/2016 10:58:37 PM, Hiu wrote:
Where in my post have I indicated any advice I gave to my friend aside of my current responses? I'm confused at what dangerous advice I have given. Anyway, the only piece of advice I gave her aside from suggesting marriage counseling, or a personal psychologist for herself, I cautioned her that her actions can cause harm to her potential ex-spouse.

The dangerous advice was a part of a response directed at another member, not yourself.

I'm confused at what the dangerous advice I gave her was. I'm scrolling back and don't see nothing out of the ordinary.

Danielle was the member I directed that comment at.

Oh I apologize. I was a bit confused.
Carolean_Karl
Posts: 60
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6/14/2016 8:44:03 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 1:33:20 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
The husband should take her out in the middle of nowhere, have his friends gang rape her and then leave her there.

And I thought I was hard on infidelity...
Hiu
Posts: 978
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6/16/2016 12:47:57 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 8:44:03 PM, Carolean_Karl wrote:
At 6/14/2016 1:33:20 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
The husband should take her out in the middle of nowhere, have his friends gang rape her and then leave her there.

And I thought I was hard on infidelity...

I know right?