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Respect for Arbitrary Reasons - Why?

Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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6/13/2016 1:31:11 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
What is my problem? Why do I have an attitude? I've had enough of observing people who give respect of others due to arbitrary reasons like having money or success, of material wealth! What makes it worse is that the receivers of this false respect, can say things that are unfounded behind backs of people who won't kiss their as$es and be believed or affect the way that others communicate with them. This happens to me in my face to face life as well as online and I'm fed up with it.

How does it make you feel to know that the only reason that you are treated favorably is cuz you brown nose the "right" people?
OlaNordmann
Posts: 87
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6/13/2016 9:16:08 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 1:31:11 AM, Emmarie wrote:
How does it make you feel to know that the only reason that you are treated favorably is cuz you brown nose the "right" people?

In the case with my employers, I feel so spineless and undeserving if they take a liking to me, based on something I don't find objectively commendable.

I think it's one of the biggest obstacles that have prevented me from getting on with my superiors. It gets to the point where I'll back out of conversations even if I enjoy them, or have a genuine interest in what they have to say. I won't clear my schedule for them even if it's in my interest. I absolutely don't want to do them any favors.

I can't pinpoint why. Maybe it's the fear of disapprovement from my peers or the fear of losing my own self respect, or even both.

Is it normal to feel and act this way? It feels very conflicted.
Emmarie
Posts: 1,907
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6/13/2016 10:23:22 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/13/2016 9:16:08 PM, OlaNordmann wrote:
At 6/13/2016 1:31:11 AM, Emmarie wrote:
How does it make you feel to know that the only reason that you are treated favorably is cuz you brown nose the "right" people?

In the case with my employers, I feel so spineless and undeserving if they take a liking to me, based on something I don't find objectively commendable.

I think it's one of the biggest obstacles that have prevented me from getting on with my superiors. It gets to the point where I'll back out of conversations even if I enjoy them, or have a genuine interest in what they have to say. I won't clear my schedule for them even if it's in my interest. I absolutely don't want to do them any favors.

I can't pinpoint why. Maybe it's the fear of disapprovement from my peers or the fear of losing my own self respect, or even both.

Is it normal to feel and act this way? It feels very conflicted.

Normal is such a subjective idea. Yes, I believe it is normal for those of us who want to receive recognition based on merit, to feel embarrassed if we get "in" through any form of arbitrary favoritism.