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Why do people think shyness is so bad?

Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,106
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6/14/2016 3:35:13 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
Because we live in a status-driven society.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
matt8800
Posts: 2,077
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6/16/2016 7:38:11 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

There are pros and cons to both. I wouldn't say one is better than the other overall but either might be better than the other in some aspects.
Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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6/16/2016 7:42:10 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/16/2016 7:38:11 PM, matt8800 wrote:
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

There are pros and cons to both. I wouldn't say one is better than the other overall but either might be better than the other in some aspects.

I know that both have their pros and cons and I agree that each might be better than the other in some aspects.
Raisor
Posts: 4,468
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6/17/2016 2:59:47 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

These rants always sound like introverts trying to rationalize their refusal to develop social skills.

Most of this "shyness" isn't some personality quirk, it's the inability to perform basic social tasks. You are unable to survive, by which j mean to literally just stay alive, without the intricate cooperation of a vast network of people. You fully depend on the social interaction of others, and have an obligation to participate in at least a minimal manner in return. This means that, at a minimum, you will need to find some place in the economy, and that place will almost without fail require basic social skills. Your teacher calls on you in class because I'm the real world people will ask you questions that you will be expected to respond to. You will likely have to give presentations in the real world.

I sympathize with being introverted- long social interactions wear me out and I often prefer to not interact with people. But introverts still need communities and support structures, introverts and "shy" people are still human and will stagnate without social interaction. Rationalize all you want, but you will be much happier if you bite the bullet and take the time to develop your social skills. If you do that, you will be able to choose when to engage and when not to engage, you will not feel overburdened by minor social interactions that are required by your mere existence.

As a side note, consider that your "shyness" is often perceived, correctly I believe, as rudeness and selfishness. For example, if someone makes casual small talk and you refuse or fail to engage, the perception is that you aren't interested in the other person or can't be bothered to muster the energy to engage.

Sorry if this sounds overly critical, but I think it is important to understand the criticisms we receive and not merely justify inaction by virtue of "just being myself."
Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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6/17/2016 3:18:50 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/17/2016 2:59:47 AM, Raisor wrote:
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

These rants always sound like introverts trying to rationalize their refusal to develop social skills.

Most of this "shyness" isn't some personality quirk, it's the inability to perform basic social tasks. You are unable to survive, by which j mean to literally just stay alive, without the intricate cooperation of a vast network of people. You fully depend on the social interaction of others, and have an obligation to participate in at least a minimal manner in return. This means that, at a minimum, you will need to find some place in the economy, and that place will almost without fail require basic social skills. Your teacher calls on you in class because I'm the real world people will ask you questions that you will be expected to respond to. You will likely have to give presentations in the real world.

I sympathize with being introverted- long social interactions wear me out and I often prefer to not interact with people. But introverts still need communities and support structures, introverts and "shy" people are still human and will stagnate without social interaction. Rationalize all you want, but you will be much happier if you bite the bullet and take the time to develop your social skills. If you do that, you will be able to choose when to engage and when not to engage, you will not feel overburdened by minor social interactions that are required by your mere existence.

As a side note, consider that your "shyness" is often perceived, correctly I believe, as rudeness and selfishness. For example, if someone makes casual small talk and you refuse or fail to engage, the perception is that you aren't interested in the other person or can't be bothered to muster the energy to engage.

Sorry if this sounds overly critical, but I think it is important to understand the criticisms we receive and not merely justify inaction by virtue of "just being myself."

Nicely said! I know my rant sounded a little harsh.

It's okay! You don't sound that critical! I agree that people should not use "Just be yourself" as an excuse to do horrible things!
Raisor
Posts: 4,468
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6/17/2016 3:29:35 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/17/2016 3:18:50 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
At 6/17/2016 2:59:47 AM, Raisor wrote:
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

These rants always sound like introverts trying to rationalize their refusal to develop social skills.

Most of this "shyness" isn't some personality quirk, it's the inability to perform basic social tasks. You are unable to survive, by which j mean to literally just stay alive, without the intricate cooperation of a vast network of people. You fully depend on the social interaction of others, and have an obligation to participate in at least a minimal manner in return. This means that, at a minimum, you will need to find some place in the economy, and that place will almost without fail require basic social skills. Your teacher calls on you in class because I'm the real world people will ask you questions that you will be expected to respond to. You will likely have to give presentations in the real world.

I sympathize with being introverted- long social interactions wear me out and I often prefer to not interact with people. But introverts still need communities and support structures, introverts and "shy" people are still human and will stagnate without social interaction. Rationalize all you want, but you will be much happier if you bite the bullet and take the time to develop your social skills. If you do that, you will be able to choose when to engage and when not to engage, you will not feel overburdened by minor social interactions that are required by your mere existence.

As a side note, consider that your "shyness" is often perceived, correctly I believe, as rudeness and selfishness. For example, if someone makes casual small talk and you refuse or fail to engage, the perception is that you aren't interested in the other person or can't be bothered to muster the energy to engage.

Sorry if this sounds overly critical, but I think it is important to understand the criticisms we receive and not merely justify inaction by virtue of "just being myself."

Nicely said! I know my rant sounded a little harsh.

It's okay! You don't sound that critical! I agree that people should not use "Just be yourself" as an excuse to do horrible things!

I don't think being shy is doing a horrible thing. I just think people who try to build their life around lacking social skills are selling themselves short and would live much happier lives if they worked at changing.
matt8800
Posts: 2,077
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6/18/2016 4:04:29 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/16/2016 7:42:10 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
At 6/16/2016 7:38:11 PM, matt8800 wrote:
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

There are pros and cons to both. I wouldn't say one is better than the other overall but either might be better than the other in some aspects.

I know that both have their pros and cons and I agree that each might be better than the other in some aspects.

By the way, one can be an introvert and be highly confident and unafraid. A confident, self-assured introvert can be highly capable. As someone that used to have a company with 1800 employees and 300 managers, I can tell you that there are many leadership positions that they are particularly suited for.

A confident introvert simply prefers listening over talking. Spending time with their own thoughts gives them energy while spending time with people saps their energy.
Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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6/18/2016 8:22:44 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/18/2016 4:04:29 PM, matt8800 wrote:
At 6/16/2016 7:42:10 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
At 6/16/2016 7:38:11 PM, matt8800 wrote:
At 6/14/2016 3:31:36 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Why do so many people think that shyness is a bad thing? Not everyone wants to be social or have a social life! People always assume that you have to be social to get through life but you can be shy and get through life too!

Yes, I understand that there needs to be a balance of both shy and outgoing people so that there can be talkers and listeners but outgoing people can be annoying sometimes!

I know that there are some outgoing people who actually take the time to listen and talk when necessary and I appreciate those people but it seems like there are a lot of outgoing people who talk just to hear their own voice and who don't bother to listen to people!

These types of outgoing people piss me off because they never listen! They always talk and they act like babies, which turns me off!

Anyways, why do teachers call on shy people in class when those teachers know that those shy people don't want attention and why do teachers force shy people to do presentations when those teachers know that shy people hate attention? This frustrates me!

And why is it that people always tell shy people to be more open and more social?

In fact, why do people at school always want shy people to talk when those people probably just feel like the shy person is judging them?! Shyness doesn't affect anyone but shy people so why do people antagonize shy people and make them seem like bad people?

Shy people have to put up with so much BS just because they're shy while some outgoing people don't understand what it's like to be shy and the pain that shy people go through!

What I'm basically asking is what is the big deal about being shy? I'm shy and I love being shy because I don't have to feel obligated to talk every 10 seconds! I can just sit back and observe people without having to be social!

Shyness is just a part of some people and not everyone wants that part taken away from them!

There are pros and cons to both. I wouldn't say one is better than the other overall but either might be better than the other in some aspects.

I know that both have their pros and cons and I agree that each might be better than the other in some aspects.

By the way, one can be an introvert and be highly confident and unafraid. A confident, self-assured introvert can be highly capable. As someone that used to have a company with 1800 employees and 300 managers, I can tell you that there are many leadership positions that they are particularly suited for.

A confident introvert simply prefers listening over talking. Spending time with their own thoughts gives them energy while spending time with people saps their energy.

I know that shyness and introversion aren't the same thing but many people seem to use introvert and shyness as synonyms.
sadolite
Posts: 8,842
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6/19/2016 12:42:17 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
shyness isn't bad, people are
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%