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thett3
Posts: 14,348
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9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
Due to an incredibly sudden and deeply tragic boating accident, the entirety of the US olympic team was lost in July of 2016. After a week of nationwide mourning, the government took action to assemble a team.

Their last minute replacements? A diverse band of amateurs from an obscure debating site. Some went on to great success. Some went on to defeat. And still others went on to utter humiliation.

These are their stories.

------------------------

Thett3, always an outdoorsman, competed in the kayaking event. Against all odds, he actually managed to win a Bronze medal. Unfortunately due to his exposure to the water, he contracted an unknown disease and died the next week.

Mikal was supposed to compete but ended up robbing a store and then claiming he was robbed as his alibi. It was a big thing

TN05 wrestled for the United States of America. He was soundly defeated in the first round by the mighty German wrestler Drumpf. To cap off the humiliating loss, Drumpf ruined his marriage. He also caught Zika.

BossyBurrito spotted a golden opportunity. He knew that swimming was one of the most popular and most watched events, so he used the opportunity to spread his political agenda. He broke the world record, beating even the recently departed Michael Phelps, and attempted to spread the word of Ayn Rand in his victory speech. He felt good about the happiness that adherence to Her word would bring the masses.

He had a crisis when he realized that he was feeling happiness at the thought of others happiness. How could this possibly square up with the Truth...all charity is selfish and altruism doesn't exist. But he felt good at the prospect of helping others. His brain short circuited and he collapsed. He was taken to a psychiatrist, who subsequently committed him when he learned that Bossy was an objectivist.

Bsh1 played Beach Volleyball while wearing a Rainbow flag speedo. His performance was billed as a statement for gay rights, but the media narrative that came out of it was that it was so similar to that homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun that Tom Cruise finally admitted it and came out of the closet, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

Airmax was on the Basketball team. One of his opponents tried to taunt him with the most famous basketball quote of all time:

"Jews can't play basketball" - Eric Cartman

Airmax simply flashed him a grin and showed off the Air Jordans that his high school girlfriend had given him. After victory, he humbly refused to do an interview, telling the press: "Don't quote me, ever."

Unfortunately, he disgraced himself the next day as video footage of him in high school performing an ebonics version of "The Scarlet Letter" emerged. It was grossly offensive and caused an absurd amount of ethnic tension. Airmax sued the person who leaked the video, and the trial became OJ Simpson part two. Historians believe that Airmax's ebonics actually set back race relations in the United States several decades.

ClassicRobert competed in boxing, wrestling, and Taekwondo, winning the gold in all three. His chiseled good looks caught his opponents off guard. When they saw him, they couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man they had ever seen, and contemplate their own life. As they pondered their existence, he then flashed them a smile, and the blinding whiteness of his teeth caused a glare, which temporarily blinded his opponents. Robert used this to his advantage and immediately moved in for the kill. They never had a chance He did us proud.

However, he was also a degenerate and his carnal knowledge of the womenfolk led to catching a disease.

1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

Wylted won the title of "President of the Olympiad's" by holding a secret election that only his friends knew about.

Someloser basically just lost at everything, for obvious reasons.

Dylancatlow was about to enter the airport to fly back home to the states when he heard an alpha male yell "Trump 2016!" at TN05. Feeling an instinctive need to counter-signal against Trump, he stepped out of the sliding doors and argued with the man (and lost badly since all arguments against Trump are automatically invalid). During the argument, a mosquito bit him and he caught Zika.

Skep was a high quality fencer. He moved as gracefully as he crafted the written word. Unfortunately, he had been listening to too many racist podcasts and offended his fencing team with his support for Trump, which was composed entirely of Hijab-wearing muslim women.

He totally destroyed the cohesion of the team.

Seventh pioneered a new event: the septaphlon. Unfortunately nobody was interested in it because his idea of olympics "events" consisted of various rounds of jeopardy.

Romanii was kicked out of the games for insisting that the Olympic commission change his identity 5 times the first day that he got there. His identity crisis was never resolved.

YYW was a born and bred WASP so of course he did some kind of horse event. It was some dumb event, and nobody really knows the difference between the different horse events. We just know about that time when the media made a big deal about Ann Romney owning a horse in the Olympics.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Solon was a foreign correspondent for Solon.com. He refused to wear a shirt, and ended up being bitten on his chest. He caught Zika.

Blade-of-truth had some success in powerlifting since he'd been working so hard. You go, brotha!

Greyparrot won the gold in shooting. He made an off color joke about pretending that the clay pigeons were Hillary Clinton and was arrested by the secret service.

Rosalie caught Zika.

TBR caught Zika.

000ike caught Zika.

Seyima caught Zika.

Bennet91 caught Zika.

NHN caught Zika.

Slo1 caught Zika.

Kbub caught Zika.

Ford_Prefect caught Zika.

ResponsiblyIrresponsible caught Zika.

Double_R caught Zika.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,844
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9/8/2016 5:04:18 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
Due to an incredibly sudden and deeply tragic boating accident, the entirety of the US olympic team was lost in July of 2016. After a week of nationwide mourning, the government took action to assemble a team.

Their last minute replacements? A diverse band of amateurs from an obscure debating site. Some went on to great success. Some went on to defeat. And still others went on to utter humiliation.

These are their stories.

------------------------

Thett3, always an outdoorsman, competed in the kayaking event. Against all odds, he actually managed to win a Bronze medal. Unfortunately due to his exposure to the water, he contracted an unknown disease and died the next week.

Mikal was supposed to compete but ended up robbing a store and then claiming he was robbed as his alibi. It was a big thing

TN05 wrestled for the United States of America. He was soundly defeated in the first round by the mighty German wrestler Drumpf. To cap off the humiliating loss, Drumpf ruined his marriage. He also caught Zika.

BossyBurrito spotted a golden opportunity. He knew that swimming was one of the most popular and most watched events, so he used the opportunity to spread his political agenda. He broke the world record, beating even the recently departed Michael Phelps, and attempted to spread the word of Ayn Rand in his victory speech. He felt good about the happiness that adherence to Her word would bring the masses.

He had a crisis when he realized that he was feeling happiness at the thought of others happiness. How could this possibly square up with the Truth...all charity is selfish and altruism doesn't exist. But he felt good at the prospect of helping others. His brain short circuited and he collapsed. He was taken to a psychiatrist, who subsequently committed him when he learned that Bossy was an objectivist.

Bsh1 played Beach Volleyball while wearing a Rainbow flag speedo. His performance was billed as a statement for gay rights, but the media narrative that came out of it was that it was so similar to that homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun that Tom Cruise finally admitted it and came out of the closet, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

Airmax was on the Basketball team. One of his opponents tried to taunt him with the most famous basketball quote of all time:

"Jews can't play basketball" - Eric Cartman

Airmax simply flashed him a grin and showed off the Air Jordans that his high school girlfriend had given him. After victory, he humbly refused to do an interview, telling the press: "Don't quote me, ever."

Unfortunately, he disgraced himself the next day as video footage of him in high school performing an ebonics version of "The Scarlet Letter" emerged. It was grossly offensive and caused an absurd amount of ethnic tension. Airmax sued the person who leaked the video, and the trial became OJ Simpson part two. Historians believe that Airmax's ebonics actually set back race relations in the United States several decades.

ClassicRobert competed in boxing, wrestling, and Taekwondo, winning the gold in all three. His chiseled good looks caught his opponents off guard. When they saw him, they couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man they had ever seen, and contemplate their own life. As they pondered their existence, he then flashed them a smile, and the blinding whiteness of his teeth caused a glare, which temporarily blinded his opponents. Robert used this to his advantage and immediately moved in for the kill. They never had a chance He did us proud.

However, he was also a degenerate and his carnal knowledge of the womenfolk led to catching a disease.

1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

Wylted won the title of "President of the Olympiad's" by holding a secret election that only his friends knew about.

Someloser basically just lost at everything, for obvious reasons.

Dylancatlow was about to enter the airport to fly back home to the states when he heard an alpha male yell "Trump 2016!" at TN05. Feeling an instinctive need to counter-signal against Trump, he stepped out of the sliding doors and argued with the man (and lost badly since all arguments against Trump are automatically invalid). During the argument, a mosquito bit him and he caught Zika.

Skep was a high quality fencer. He moved as gracefully as he crafted the written word. Unfortunately, he had been listening to too many racist podcasts and offended his fencing team with his support for Trump, which was composed entirely of Hijab-wearing muslim women.

He totally destroyed the cohesion of the team.

Seventh pioneered a new event: the septaphlon. Unfortunately nobody was interested in it because his idea of olympics "events" consisted of various rounds of jeopardy.

Romanii was kicked out of the games for insisting that the Olympic commission change his identity 5 times the first day that he got there. His identity crisis was never resolved.

YYW was a born and bred WASP so of course he did some kind of horse event. It was some dumb event, and nobody really knows the difference between the different horse events. We just know about that time when the media made a big deal about Ann Romney owning a horse in the Olympics.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Solon was a foreign correspondent for Solon.com. He refused to wear a shirt, and ended up being bitten on his chest. He caught Zika.

Blade-of-truth had some success in powerlifting since he'd been working so hard. You go, brotha!

Greyparrot won the gold in shooting. He made an off color joke about pretending that the clay pigeons were Hillary Clinton and was arrested by the secret service.

Rosalie caught Zika.

TBR caught Zika.

000ike caught Zika.

Seyima caught Zika.

Bennet91 caught Zika.

NHN caught Zika.

Slo1 caught Zika.

Kbub caught Zika.

Ford_Prefect caught Zika.

ResponsiblyIrresponsible caught Zika.

Double_R caught Zika.

Why am I never in these things?
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
lannan13
Posts: 23,073
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9/8/2016 1:54:43 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
lol
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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thett3
Posts: 14,348
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9/8/2016 4:25:59 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 5:04:18 AM, PetersSmith wrote:

Why am I never in these things?

I can tell you why you weren't in this one...I couldn't think of a funny event to have you do based on your username/history/site persona. This is why a lot of people I wanted to put in like Coletrain were left out
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/8/2016 5:05:49 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
Due to an incredibly sudden and deeply tragic boating accident, the entirety of the US olympic team was lost in July of 2016. After a week of nationwide mourning, the government took action to assemble a team.

Their last minute replacements? A diverse band of amateurs from an obscure debating site. Some went on to great success. Some went on to defeat. And still others went on to utter humiliation.

These are their stories.

------------------------

Thett3, always an outdoorsman, competed in the kayaking event. Against all odds, he actually managed to win a Bronze medal. Unfortunately due to his exposure to the water, he contracted an unknown disease and died the next week.

Mikal was supposed to compete but ended up robbing a store and then claiming he was robbed as his alibi. It was a big thing

TN05 wrestled for the United States of America. He was soundly defeated in the first round by the mighty German wrestler Drumpf. To cap off the humiliating loss, Drumpf ruined his marriage. He also caught Zika.

BossyBurrito spotted a golden opportunity. He knew that swimming was one of the most popular and most watched events, so he used the opportunity to spread his political agenda. He broke the world record, beating even the recently departed Michael Phelps, and attempted to spread the word of Ayn Rand in his victory speech. He felt good about the happiness that adherence to Her word would bring the masses.

He had a crisis when he realized that he was feeling happiness at the thought of others happiness. How could this possibly square up with the Truth...all charity is selfish and altruism doesn't exist. But he felt good at the prospect of helping others. His brain short circuited and he collapsed. He was taken to a psychiatrist, who subsequently committed him when he learned that Bossy was an objectivist.

Bsh1 played Beach Volleyball while wearing a Rainbow flag speedo. His performance was billed as a statement for gay rights, but the media narrative that came out of it was that it was so similar to that homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun that Tom Cruise finally admitted it and came out of the closet, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

Airmax was on the Basketball team. One of his opponents tried to taunt him with the most famous basketball quote of all time:

"Jews can't play basketball" - Eric Cartman

Airmax simply flashed him a grin and showed off the Air Jordans that his high school girlfriend had given him. After victory, he humbly refused to do an interview, telling the press: "Don't quote me, ever."

Unfortunately, he disgraced himself the next day as video footage of him in high school performing an ebonics version of "The Scarlet Letter" emerged. It was grossly offensive and caused an absurd amount of ethnic tension. Airmax sued the person who leaked the video, and the trial became OJ Simpson part two. Historians believe that Airmax's ebonics actually set back race relations in the United States several decades.

ClassicRobert competed in boxing, wrestling, and Taekwondo, winning the gold in all three. His chiseled good looks caught his opponents off guard. When they saw him, they couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man they had ever seen, and contemplate their own life. As they pondered their existence, he then flashed them a smile, and the blinding whiteness of his teeth caused a glare, which temporarily blinded his opponents. Robert used this to his advantage and immediately moved in for the kill. They never had a chance He did us proud.

However, he was also a degenerate and his carnal knowledge of the womenfolk led to catching a disease.

1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

Wylted won the title of "President of the Olympiad's" by holding a secret election that only his friends knew about.

Someloser basically just lost at everything, for obvious reasons.

Dylancatlow was about to enter the airport to fly back home to the states when he heard an alpha male yell "Trump 2016!" at TN05. Feeling an instinctive need to counter-signal against Trump, he stepped out of the sliding doors and argued with the man (and lost badly since all arguments against Trump are automatically invalid). During the argument, a mosquito bit him and he caught Zika.

Skep was a high quality fencer. He moved as gracefully as he crafted the written word. Unfortunately, he had been listening to too many racist podcasts and offended his fencing team with his support for Trump, which was composed entirely of Hijab-wearing muslim women.

He totally destroyed the cohesion of the team.

Seventh pioneered a new event: the septaphlon. Unfortunately nobody was interested in it because his idea of olympics "events" consisted of various rounds of jeopardy.

Romanii was kicked out of the games for insisting that the Olympic commission change his identity 5 times the first day that he got there. His identity crisis was never resolved.

YYW was a born and bred WASP so of course he did some kind of horse event. It was some dumb event, and nobody really knows the difference between the different horse events. We just know about that time when the media made a big deal about Ann Romney owning a horse in the Olympics.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Solon was a foreign correspondent for Solon.com. He refused to wear a shirt, and ended up being bitten on his chest. He caught Zika.

Blade-of-truth had some success in powerlifting since he'd been working so hard. You go, brotha!

Greyparrot won the gold in shooting. He made an off color joke about pretending that the clay pigeons were Hillary Clinton and was arrested by the secret service.

Rosalie caught Zika.

TBR caught Zika.

000ike caught Zika.

Seyima caught Zika.

Bennet91 caught Zika.

NHN caught Zika.

Slo1 caught Zika.

Kbub caught Zika.

Ford_Prefect caught Zika.

ResponsiblyIrresponsible caught Zika.

Double_R caught Zika.

Stop jacking off to trump and start including me in these things you fvcking jew
Im not a Nazi
thett3
Posts: 14,348
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9/8/2016 5:07:21 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 5:05:49 PM, Capital wrote:
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
Due to an incredibly sudden and deeply tragic boating accident, the entirety of the US olympic team was lost in July of 2016. After a week of nationwide mourning, the government took action to assemble a team.

Their last minute replacements? A diverse band of amateurs from an obscure debating site. Some went on to great success. Some went on to defeat. And still others went on to utter humiliation.

These are their stories.

------------------------

Thett3, always an outdoorsman, competed in the kayaking event. Against all odds, he actually managed to win a Bronze medal. Unfortunately due to his exposure to the water, he contracted an unknown disease and died the next week.

Mikal was supposed to compete but ended up robbing a store and then claiming he was robbed as his alibi. It was a big thing

TN05 wrestled for the United States of America. He was soundly defeated in the first round by the mighty German wrestler Drumpf. To cap off the humiliating loss, Drumpf ruined his marriage. He also caught Zika.

BossyBurrito spotted a golden opportunity. He knew that swimming was one of the most popular and most watched events, so he used the opportunity to spread his political agenda. He broke the world record, beating even the recently departed Michael Phelps, and attempted to spread the word of Ayn Rand in his victory speech. He felt good about the happiness that adherence to Her word would bring the masses.

He had a crisis when he realized that he was feeling happiness at the thought of others happiness. How could this possibly square up with the Truth...all charity is selfish and altruism doesn't exist. But he felt good at the prospect of helping others. His brain short circuited and he collapsed. He was taken to a psychiatrist, who subsequently committed him when he learned that Bossy was an objectivist.

Bsh1 played Beach Volleyball while wearing a Rainbow flag speedo. His performance was billed as a statement for gay rights, but the media narrative that came out of it was that it was so similar to that homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun that Tom Cruise finally admitted it and came out of the closet, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

Airmax was on the Basketball team. One of his opponents tried to taunt him with the most famous basketball quote of all time:

"Jews can't play basketball" - Eric Cartman

Airmax simply flashed him a grin and showed off the Air Jordans that his high school girlfriend had given him. After victory, he humbly refused to do an interview, telling the press: "Don't quote me, ever."

Unfortunately, he disgraced himself the next day as video footage of him in high school performing an ebonics version of "The Scarlet Letter" emerged. It was grossly offensive and caused an absurd amount of ethnic tension. Airmax sued the person who leaked the video, and the trial became OJ Simpson part two. Historians believe that Airmax's ebonics actually set back race relations in the United States several decades.

ClassicRobert competed in boxing, wrestling, and Taekwondo, winning the gold in all three. His chiseled good looks caught his opponents off guard. When they saw him, they couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man they had ever seen, and contemplate their own life. As they pondered their existence, he then flashed them a smile, and the blinding whiteness of his teeth caused a glare, which temporarily blinded his opponents. Robert used this to his advantage and immediately moved in for the kill. They never had a chance He did us proud.

However, he was also a degenerate and his carnal knowledge of the womenfolk led to catching a disease.

1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

Wylted won the title of "President of the Olympiad's" by holding a secret election that only his friends knew about.

Someloser basically just lost at everything, for obvious reasons.

Dylancatlow was about to enter the airport to fly back home to the states when he heard an alpha male yell "Trump 2016!" at TN05. Feeling an instinctive need to counter-signal against Trump, he stepped out of the sliding doors and argued with the man (and lost badly since all arguments against Trump are automatically invalid). During the argument, a mosquito bit him and he caught Zika.

Skep was a high quality fencer. He moved as gracefully as he crafted the written word. Unfortunately, he had been listening to too many racist podcasts and offended his fencing team with his support for Trump, which was composed entirely of Hijab-wearing muslim women.

He totally destroyed the cohesion of the team.

Seventh pioneered a new event: the septaphlon. Unfortunately nobody was interested in it because his idea of olympics "events" consisted of various rounds of jeopardy.

Romanii was kicked out of the games for insisting that the Olympic commission change his identity 5 times the first day that he got there. His identity crisis was never resolved.

YYW was a born and bred WASP so of course he did some kind of horse event. It was some dumb event, and nobody really knows the difference between the different horse events. We just know about that time when the media made a big deal about Ann Romney owning a horse in the Olympics.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Solon was a foreign correspondent for Solon.com. He refused to wear a shirt, and ended up being bitten on his chest. He caught Zika.

Blade-of-truth had some success in powerlifting since he'd been working so hard. You go, brotha!

Greyparrot won the gold in shooting. He made an off color joke about pretending that the clay pigeons were Hillary Clinton and was arrested by the secret service.

Rosalie caught Zika.

TBR caught Zika.

000ike caught Zika.

Seyima caught Zika.

Bennet91 caught Zika.

NHN caught Zika.

Slo1 caught Zika.

Kbub caught Zika.

Ford_Prefect caught Zika.

ResponsiblyIrresponsible caught Zika.

Double_R caught Zika.

Stop jacking off to trump and start including me in these things you fvcking jew

LOL your reply made it so that, I had 1488 characters remaining. Coincidence?
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,564
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9/8/2016 5:09:05 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 5:07:21 PM, thett3 wrote:
LOL your reply made it so that, I had 1488 characters remaining. Coincidence?

That's.

That's amazing.
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/8/2016 5:20:26 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 5:07:21 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 9/8/2016 5:05:49 PM, Capital wrote:
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
Due to an incredibly sudden and deeply tragic boating accident, the entirety of the US olympic team was lost in July of 2016. After a week of nationwide mourning, the government took action to assemble a team.

Their last minute replacements? A diverse band of amateurs from an obscure debating site. Some went on to great success. Some went on to defeat. And still others went on to utter humiliation.

These are their stories.

------------------------

Thett3, always an outdoorsman, competed in the kayaking event. Against all odds, he actually managed to win a Bronze medal. Unfortunately due to his exposure to the water, he contracted an unknown disease and died the next week.

Mikal was supposed to compete but ended up robbing a store and then claiming he was robbed as his alibi. It was a big thing

TN05 wrestled for the United States of America. He was soundly defeated in the first round by the mighty German wrestler Drumpf. To cap off the humiliating loss, Drumpf ruined his marriage. He also caught Zika.

BossyBurrito spotted a golden opportunity. He knew that swimming was one of the most popular and most watched events, so he used the opportunity to spread his political agenda. He broke the world record, beating even the recently departed Michael Phelps, and attempted to spread the word of Ayn Rand in his victory speech. He felt good about the happiness that adherence to Her word would bring the masses.

He had a crisis when he realized that he was feeling happiness at the thought of others happiness. How could this possibly square up with the Truth...all charity is selfish and altruism doesn't exist. But he felt good at the prospect of helping others. His brain short circuited and he collapsed. He was taken to a psychiatrist, who subsequently committed him when he learned that Bossy was an objectivist.

Bsh1 played Beach Volleyball while wearing a Rainbow flag speedo. His performance was billed as a statement for gay rights, but the media narrative that came out of it was that it was so similar to that homoerotic volleyball scene in Top Gun that Tom Cruise finally admitted it and came out of the closet, to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

Airmax was on the Basketball team. One of his opponents tried to taunt him with the most famous basketball quote of all time:

"Jews can't play basketball" - Eric Cartman

Airmax simply flashed him a grin and showed off the Air Jordans that his high school girlfriend had given him. After victory, he humbly refused to do an interview, telling the press: "Don't quote me, ever."

Unfortunately, he disgraced himself the next day as video footage of him in high school performing an ebonics version of "The Scarlet Letter" emerged. It was grossly offensive and caused an absurd amount of ethnic tension. Airmax sued the person who leaked the video, and the trial became OJ Simpson part two. Historians believe that Airmax's ebonics actually set back race relations in the United States several decades.

ClassicRobert competed in boxing, wrestling, and Taekwondo, winning the gold in all three. His chiseled good looks caught his opponents off guard. When they saw him, they couldn't help but think that he was the most handsome man they had ever seen, and contemplate their own life. As they pondered their existence, he then flashed them a smile, and the blinding whiteness of his teeth caused a glare, which temporarily blinded his opponents. Robert used this to his advantage and immediately moved in for the kill. They never had a chance He did us proud.

However, he was also a degenerate and his carnal knowledge of the womenfolk led to catching a disease.

1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

Wylted won the title of "President of the Olympiad's" by holding a secret election that only his friends knew about.

Someloser basically just lost at everything, for obvious reasons.

Dylancatlow was about to enter the airport to fly back home to the states when he heard an alpha male yell "Trump 2016!" at TN05. Feeling an instinctive need to counter-signal against Trump, he stepped out of the sliding doors and argued with the man (and lost badly since all arguments against Trump are automatically invalid). During the argument, a mosquito bit him and he caught Zika.

Skep was a high quality fencer. He moved as gracefully as he crafted the written word. Unfortunately, he had been listening to too many racist podcasts and offended his fencing team with his support for Trump, which was composed entirely of Hijab-wearing muslim women.

He totally destroyed the cohesion of the team.

Seventh pioneered a new event: the septaphlon. Unfortunately nobody was interested in it because his idea of olympics "events" consisted of various rounds of jeopardy.

Romanii was kicked out of the games for insisting that the Olympic commission change his identity 5 times the first day that he got there. His identity crisis was never resolved.

YYW was a born and bred WASP so of course he did some kind of horse event. It was some dumb event, and nobody really knows the difference between the different horse events. We just know about that time when the media made a big deal about Ann Romney owning a horse in the Olympics.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Solon was a foreign correspondent for Solon.com. He refused to wear a shirt, and ended up being bitten on his chest. He caught Zika.

Blade-of-truth had some success in powerlifting since he'd been working so hard. You go, brotha!

Greyparrot won the gold in shooting. He made an off color joke about pretending that the clay pigeons were Hillary Clinton and was arrested by the secret service.

Rosalie caught Zika.

TBR caught Zika.

000ike caught Zika.

Seyima caught Zika.

Bennet91 caught Zika.

NHN caught Zika.

Slo1 caught Zika.

Kbub caught Zika.

Ford_Prefect caught Zika.

ResponsiblyIrresponsible caught Zika.

Double_R caught Zika.

Stop jacking off to trump and start including me in these things you fvcking jew

LOL your reply made it so that, I had 1488 characters remaining. Coincidence?

.....

The prophecy
Im not a Nazi
Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,280
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9/8/2016 5:50:22 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/8/2016 5:09:05 PM, The-Voice-of-Truth wrote:
At 9/8/2016 5:07:21 PM, thett3 wrote:
LOL your reply made it so that, I had 1488 characters remaining. Coincidence?

That's.

That's amazing.

Meme magic is real!
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
Vaarka
Posts: 7,613
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9/8/2016 6:04:50 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
I'm both amused and disappointed

I'm amused because this was interesting to read and funny

I'm disappointed that you didn't have me trying to put osu! into the Olympics, get mad that I couldn't and then get a mosquito in my sprite and contract the zika virus.

But hey, I still liked it ;D
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
thett3
Posts: 14,348
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9/9/2016 1:08:35 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/8/2016 6:04:50 PM, Vaarka wrote:
I'm both amused and disappointed

I'm amused because this was interesting to read and funny

I'm disappointed that you didn't have me trying to put osu! into the Olympics, get mad that I couldn't and then get a mosquito in my sprite and contract the zika virus.

But hey, I still liked it ;D

I couldn't think of a funny mini-story to go along with your site persona or username. I mean, if I just used your username and said you played a sport you wouldnt REALLY be in it, would you?

But now I noticed from your profile that you have ideas other than complete and total support for Donald Trump, so you got zika.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Vaarka
Posts: 7,613
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9/9/2016 1:09:19 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/9/2016 1:08:35 AM, thett3 wrote:
At 9/8/2016 6:04:50 PM, Vaarka wrote:
I'm both amused and disappointed

I'm amused because this was interesting to read and funny

I'm disappointed that you didn't have me trying to put osu! into the Olympics, get mad that I couldn't and then get a mosquito in my sprite and contract the zika virus.

But hey, I still liked it ;D

I couldn't think of a funny mini-story to go along with your site persona or username. I mean, if I just used your username and said you played a sport you wouldnt REALLY be in it, would you?

But now I noticed from your profile that you have ideas other than complete and total support for Donald Trump, so you got zika.

sweet
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
NHN
Posts: 624
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9/9/2016 12:50:21 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
NHN caught Zika.
So I get a free ticket to Rio and all I get is a lousy viral infection. "Thanks."
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,315
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9/9/2016 2:51:30 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/8/2016 4:25:59 PM, thett3 wrote:
This is why a lot of people I wanted to put in like Coletrain were left out

Hey, at least you thought of me. :P
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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9/13/2016 2:34:17 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
PUT ME IN THESE STORIES nac
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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9/13/2016 5:01:50 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

https://media.giphy.com...
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
Vaarka
Posts: 7,613
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9/13/2016 12:11:25 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 5:01:50 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 9/8/2016 4:35:20 AM, thett3 wrote:
1harderthanyouthink tried his hand at sailing. "It's just clothe held up by a bunch of ropes, how hard could it be?"

It was harder than he thought.

https://media.giphy.com...

Lol, when I was at Seabase two summers ago, we were on a sailboat for a week, so that involved manning the sails and whatnot. It actually is rather difficult.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya