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Giving up on people

YYW
Posts: 36,243
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9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?
Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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9/13/2016 2:02:10 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

What exactly do you mean by "giving up on someone"?
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
YYW
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9/13/2016 2:07:12 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 2:02:10 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

What exactly do you mean by "giving up on someone"?

Realizing that they will never be what they ought to be, or do what they ought to do. Maybe in relation to their family, or their friends.... their job or whatever. Anything.

I guess giving up on someone is the point at which you realize that there is nothing you can or will ever be able to do to make them into a better person.
Vaarka
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9/13/2016 2:17:28 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 2:07:12 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:02:10 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

What exactly do you mean by "giving up on someone"?

Realizing that they will never be what they ought to be, or do what they ought to do. Maybe in relation to their family, or their friends.... their job or whatever. Anything.

I guess giving up on someone is the point at which you realize that there is nothing you can or will ever be able to do to make them into a better person.

There was some guy I once met who turned out to have suicidal thoughts. He was a good kid, but he made up a lot of stuff because he thought it was funny. However, one day, I came and said hello (I've never met him irl), and he eventually admitted to getting into drugs and alcohol. He made up some story about how it was a girl he dated that got him into it, and how they were still dating.

I believed him at first, and the drugs part was true, but he continued to go down some road of lies that really just confused me at times. One day, he'd tell me he got expelled for something, and then the next that he could drive a motorcycle in NJ despite being 14. I had suspicions that he was lying, but there were little bits here and there that left me uncertain if they were all lies.

Eventually, after trying for months to give him suggestions on what to do, since he seemed to only be going down a road of bad decisions, he'd always push the aside and say "nah, I don't feel like it" before lying about something else, usually his "girlfriend" that he claimed had gotten him into drugs. It even got to a point where he got some girl I liked to talk to him enough that she actually liked him instead, despite never meeting him. He'd then ask me for help regarding her whenever he made her mad because of some lie, and I was sick of it to the point where one day, he sent me screenshots of a conversation with her, asked what he should do, and I told him to deal with it himself and blocked him.

I've talked to him maybe once since, as well as a friend of mine named Stephan (one good thing about this guy was he introduced me to Stephan, who I'm still friends with), and at first it seemed like he was more mature, but after two or three days, he started making stuff up again and basically asking for attention, both of which Stephan and I were tired of dealing with. Save for the one time with Stephan, I haven't talked to him in at least a year and a half.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Vaarka
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9/13/2016 2:18:41 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 2:17:28 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:07:12 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:02:10 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

What exactly do you mean by "giving up on someone"?

Realizing that they will never be what they ought to be, or do what they ought to do. Maybe in relation to their family, or their friends.... their job or whatever. Anything.

I guess giving up on someone is the point at which you realize that there is nothing you can or will ever be able to do to make them into a better person.

There was some guy I once met who turned out to have suicidal thoughts. He was a good kid, but he made up a lot of stuff because he thought it was funny. However, one day, I came and said hello (I've never met him irl), and he eventually admitted to getting into drugs and alcohol. He made up some story about how it was a girl he dated that got him into it, and how they were still dating.

I believed him at first, and the drugs part was true, but he continued to go down some road of lies that really just confused me at times. One day, he'd tell me he got expelled for something, and then the next that he could drive a motorcycle in NJ despite being 14. I had suspicions that he was lying, but there were little bits here and there that left me uncertain if they were all lies.

Eventually, after trying for months to give him suggestions on what to do, since he seemed to only be going down a road of bad decisions, he'd always push the aside and say "nah, I don't feel like it" before lying about something else, usually his "girlfriend" that he claimed had gotten him into drugs. It even got to a point where he got some girl I liked to talk to him enough that she actually liked him instead, despite never meeting him. He'd then ask me for help regarding her whenever he made her mad because of some lie, and I was sick of it to the point where one day, he sent me screenshots of a conversation with her, asked what he should do, and I told him to deal with it himself and blocked him.

I've talked to him maybe once since, as well as a friend of mine named Stephan (one good thing about this guy was he introduced me to Stephan, who I'm still friends with), and at first it seemed like he was more mature, but after two or three days, he started making stuff up again and basically asking for attention, both of which Stephan and I were tired of dealing with. Save for the one time with Stephan, I haven't talked to him in at least a year and a half.

I forgot to mention that the only reason I talked to him as long as I did is because he would always bring up his suicidal thoughts whenever I began to express in some way that I didn't really want to deal with him anymore.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,812
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9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

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Rosalie
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9/13/2016 2:27:42 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
I gave up on my biological mom, because she put me in harm, so many times, and never gave a sh!t. When I was about 17 she tried to come back into my life, but what she did to me, and the things she let happen to me, are unforgettable and unforgivable. I'm now 20, and she still tries to contact me. But, she's living in her old ways. Sometimes you just need to let go, and need to stop worrying about the past, because you can't let it define you. I will have to say though, letting my mom go was a very hard thing for me to do, because she was my mom.. And maybe it was just hard because I craved for her so much to be the mom I wanted her to be.
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lannan13
Posts: 23,017
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9/13/2016 4:54:06 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:

I guess one of the issues I have is I try not to since I try to make everyone relatively happy. There are instances where I get p*ssed, but I'm never one to hold grudges for long. After awhile it just feels like people walk all over me or people are at the point where I can't really help them. I hate those moments as I kind of view helping someone like a project and if you can't really help them out, you feel like you failed them then constantly question yourself what could you have done differently to help them out or make them better.
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YYW
Posts: 36,243
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9/13/2016 5:01:49 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

How frequently has that happened for you?
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,812
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9/13/2016 5:02:34 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 5:01:49 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

How frequently has that happened for you?

Luckily not that often. Usually people have a tendency to behave themselves.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
n7
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9/13/2016 6:11:38 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Myself
What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/13/2016 4:09:00 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

Le ts be friendsssss
Im not a Nazi
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/13/2016 4:54:22 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 5:02:34 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 5:01:49 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

How frequently has that happened for you?

Luckily not that often. Usually people have a tendency to behave themselves.

I dont
Im not a Nazi
Defro
Posts: 847
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9/13/2016 7:19:26 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I never give up on anyone, even if they are hopeless.

http://tinyurl.com...
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,812
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9/13/2016 9:18:04 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 4:54:22 PM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 5:02:34 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 5:01:49 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

How frequently has that happened for you?

Luckily not that often. Usually people have a tendency to behave themselves.

I dont

And that's why not many people like you.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/13/2016 10:02:51 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 9:18:04 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 4:54:22 PM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 5:02:34 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 5:01:49 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/13/2016 2:23:27 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Of course.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

I give up on people when they demonstrate an incapacity to reform. I give most people extra chances, but under certain circumstances people are entirely given up on depending on certain actions. With the former it's usually a bit harder because you have an expectation that they will reform and you want to make leeway depending on how you feel about them. But you should know when you should give up on them and feel justified in doing so. For the latter it's easier because the action or actions are so reprehensible that you have every right to determine them as a lost cause.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

It's certainly no single person. Usually with that former scenario, there are few permissive factors and instead a major precipitant occurs, such as them breaking your trust, attacking you, violating your ethical or moral code, or engaging in injustice. If the person proves that they cannot reform after this event (or events), then you are justified in giving up on them. If the precipitant factor is large enough that you simply are too aggrieved to try, then you are justified in giving up on them. For that latter scenario, there are usually existing permissive factors, such as them already being untrustworthy, unstable, hostile, or just a bad person in general. Then all it takes is some precipitant event to send you over the edge and give up on them. If there exists too many permissive factors already then you don't even bother trying to interact with the person.

How frequently has that happened for you?

Luckily not that often. Usually people have a tendency to behave themselves.

I dont

And that's why not many people like you.

Shhhh and accept my friend request
Im not a Nazi
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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9/13/2016 10:21:40 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on desmac. I think he is clinically insane or just mentally retarded.
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Capital
Posts: 588
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9/14/2016 12:03:41 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on jews. They were just after my shekels and trying to steal my hard earned money. I thought they should get exterminated

Then airmax showed me jews can be fascists too and I renounced my anti semitic beliefs
Im not a Nazi
Grizzly-Jones
Posts: 90
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9/14/2016 12:05:15 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 12:03:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on jews. They were just after my shekels and trying to steal my hard earned money. I thought they should get exterminated

Then airmax showed me jews can be fascists too and I renounced my anti semitic beliefs

You sound like an idiot.

Just thought I'd let you know.
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/14/2016 12:06:41 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 12:05:15 AM, Grizzly-Jones wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:03:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on jews. They were just after my shekels and trying to steal my hard earned money. I thought they should get exterminated

Then airmax showed me jews can be fascists too and I renounced my anti semitic beliefs

You sound like an idiot.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Wow you responded quickly. You have a crush on me?
Im not a Nazi
Grizzly-Jones
Posts: 90
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9/14/2016 12:10:33 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 12:06:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:05:15 AM, Grizzly-Jones wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:03:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on jews. They were just after my shekels and trying to steal my hard earned money. I thought they should get exterminated

Then airmax showed me jews can be fascists too and I renounced my anti semitic beliefs

You sound like an idiot.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Wow you responded quickly. You have a crush on me?

No.
Capital
Posts: 588
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9/14/2016 12:13:58 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 12:10:33 AM, Grizzly-Jones wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:06:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:05:15 AM, Grizzly-Jones wrote:
At 9/14/2016 12:03:41 AM, Capital wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

I gave up on jews. They were just after my shekels and trying to steal my hard earned money. I thought they should get exterminated

Then airmax showed me jews can be fascists too and I renounced my anti semitic beliefs

You sound like an idiot.

Just thought I'd let you know.

Wow you responded quickly. You have a crush on me?

No.

Dont reach into my pants that fast
Im not a Nazi
sadolite
Posts: 8,834
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9/14/2016 12:17:49 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
The moment I sense that someone I am trying to help is not trying equally as hard to help themselves I will dump them like a hot potato. "Never let someone waste your time twice"
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Andromeda_Z
Posts: 4,151
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9/17/2016 12:24:31 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Yup, and zero regrets. It was awkward as fvck for about a week, and then it wasn't anymore.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

It just looked like you'd think it would - we had one last beast of an argument, I packed up my sh!t, called a friend for a ride and a place to stay, and got out. She tried to contact me a few months later and I emailed back "No thanks." I mean, there was a little drama, but everyone knows I don't play that game, so it was very short-lived. Quite simply, we just aren't part of each other's lives anymore, and are unlikely to ever change that.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

The person was my mother, and it's sort of a long story but childhood was fvcked up. I was 19 and didn't need to take that anymore, especially because she was getting more mentally ill *and* more controlling every day, with a new alcohol addiction to boot. I can't fix other people and I can't make us get along, but I can pack up and leave, and I did that. From what my sister says, she's actually shaped up quite a bit in the years since, though she still has a wicked controlling streak.
YYW
Posts: 36,243
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9/17/2016 12:26:54 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/17/2016 12:24:31 AM, Andromeda_Z wrote:
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

Yup, and zero regrets. It was awkward as fvck for about a week, and then it wasn't anymore.

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

It just looked like you'd think it would - we had one last beast of an argument, I packed up my sh!t, called a friend for a ride and a place to stay, and got out. She tried to contact me a few months later and I emailed back "No thanks." I mean, there was a little drama, but everyone knows I don't play that game, so it was very short-lived. Quite simply, we just aren't part of each other's lives anymore, and are unlikely to ever change that.

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

The person was my mother, and it's sort of a long story but childhood was fvcked up. I was 19 and didn't need to take that anymore, especially because she was getting more mentally ill *and* more controlling every day, with a new alcohol addiction to boot. I can't fix other people and I can't make us get along, but I can pack up and leave, and I did that. From what my sister says, she's actually shaped up quite a bit in the years since, though she still has a wicked controlling streak.

Wow.... I'm sorry you went through that, but glad you made the choice you did. It was def. the right one.
Heterodox
Posts: 293
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9/17/2016 10:40:34 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/13/2016 1:58:50 AM, YYW wrote:
Have you ever given up on someone?

What did that look like? What did it mean for you?

Who was the person? Why did you give up on them?

No, because I don't put them in a box. I don't decide who they are, what they should be, who they should be, what they should do, etc.

Now, society or people in general...It's odd how I can like a person, but have never liked people.