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Getting Married - Wedding Advice Welcome

illegalcombat
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9/14/2016 1:16:58 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Listen to what the great sages have to say on that matter....

https://www.youtube.com...
Raisor
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9/14/2016 1:18:56 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:16:58 PM, illegalcombat wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Listen to what the great sages have to say on that matter....

https://www.youtube.com...

There is a lot of irony here.
Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,285
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9/14/2016 1:58:34 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

If there are going to a be a lot of young women, invest heavily in both dry and semi-dry roses.
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
PetersSmith
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9/14/2016 2:10:04 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Keep it small and inexpensive. You'll save so much money.
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Smithereens
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9/14/2016 2:34:01 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Personally see to the music yourself. You will probably be trusting some random person you've never met with it. Next minute they play something wholly inappropriate which they think is fine and everyone remembers your wedding for it. Forever.

How embarrassing.
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Vaarka
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9/14/2016 2:35:16 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congratulations :D
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kevin24018
Posts: 1,880
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9/14/2016 2:47:29 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

advice on planning? no, advice on marriage yes, research what marriage actually is and is not, it's history and purpose, marriage is NOT about love.
FaustianJustice
Posts: 6,225
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9/14/2016 5:21:15 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Find a venue that has both indoor and outdoor amenity.

Establish a hard time table for receiving wedding photos from a photographer, should you hire one, as well as what photos you want during the ceremony.

Be cognizant of the groom's men and bride's maids budget. If you are going for a uber impressive uniform (or rented) look, help front some cash.

A good caterer is hard to find, but ZOMGA worth the money if you find a good one. Read reviews, compare price points, but don't let price alone determine the decision.

The DJ works for you, not his/her personal stylings. If there are songs you don't want played that are usually played at weddings (Chicken dance, etc), tell them not to play them. Tell them twice. Give them a post it note the day of.

Our wedding officiate (preisty-thing) was a package deal that coordinated the crowd while the post ceremony pictures were being taken. See if you can find some one that can perform the ceremony, possibly aid with a rehearsal, and manage the audience. Said officiate also kept tabs on the "well wishes" box, aka the cards with the cash in them, and made sure it was secure once everyone was seated for dinner.

Thank you cards. They need to get done. Relatively timely. Its wrist breaking, but it needs to be done.

On the matter of the rehearsal dinner, if you have out of town parents or close family of the bride/groom, it would be a nice touch to invite them.
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Rosalie
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9/14/2016 5:25:05 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congratulations :)

Just let your fianc" buy, whatever she wants, and let her do the planning. Works best that way. ;)
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Peepette
Posts: 1,238
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9/14/2016 5:40:30 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congrats! I've worked more than a few hundred weddings over the years and seen people spend an outrageous amount of money on what amounts to a 5 hour party. The best advice I can offer is, do not take loans out for the wedding, you do not want to start your marriage off in debt. Second, remember it's about the marriage, not the party you're throwing. Lastly, keep everything as simple as possible, if you do you'll have no surprise trip ups on the day of. Best of luck to you.
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:06:20 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:58:34 PM, Skepsikyma wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

If there are going to a be a lot of young women, invest heavily in both dry and semi-dry roses.

The venue is byob...I am really looking forward to going in the biggest alcohol spending spree of my life.
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:09:38 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 2:10:04 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Keep it small and inexpensive. You'll save so much money.

That ship has sailed lol. We started out trying to save money, but there's a pretty hard floor on cost unless you make major major cuts. The biggest cost is venue and catering, which is pretty fixed. We are looking at a guest list of around 90-100 and there's really no one we could from that.
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:10:57 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 2:34:01 PM, Smithereens wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Personally see to the music yourself. You will probably be trusting some random person you've never met with it. Next minute they play something wholly inappropriate which they think is fine and everyone remembers your wedding for it. Forever.

How embarrassing.

We are considering renting a sound system and using an iPod, but a DJ is still pretty appealing for peace of mind and variety.
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:11:58 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 2:47:29 PM, kevin24018 wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

advice on planning? no, advice on marriage yes, research what marriage actually is and is not, it's history and purpose, marriage is NOT about love.

My marriage is mostly about convenience and satisfying social norms.
kevin24018
Posts: 1,880
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9/14/2016 6:13:43 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 6:11:58 PM, Raisor wrote:
At 9/14/2016 2:47:29 PM, kevin24018 wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

advice on planning? no, advice on marriage yes, research what marriage actually is and is not, it's history and purpose, marriage is NOT about love.

My marriage is mostly about convenience and satisfying social norms.

been there done that lol
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:14:16 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 5:40:30 PM, Peepette wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congrats! I've worked more than a few hundred weddings over the years and seen people spend an outrageous amount of money on what amounts to a 5 hour party. The best advice I can offer is, do not take loans out for the wedding, you do not want to start your marriage off in debt. Second, remember it's about the marriage, not the party you're throwing. Lastly, keep everything as simple as possible, if you do you'll have no surprise trip ups on the day of. Best of luck to you.

Thanks that's solid advice. We have cash on hand for whatever we want.

Problem is we both kind of want a really awesome 5 hour party. We are spending a lot of time crafting the ceremony, but we also want to make sure people have a really great time.
Raisor
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9/14/2016 6:15:20 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 5:25:05 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congratulations :)

Just let your fianc" buy, whatever she wants, and let her do the planning. Works best that way. ;)

Our marriage is about equality. That being said, I think I am more opinionated on what I want lol
Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,285
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9/14/2016 9:24:43 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 6:06:20 PM, Raisor wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:58:34 PM, Skepsikyma wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

If there are going to a be a lot of young women, invest heavily in both dry and semi-dry roses.

The venue is byob...I am really looking forward to going in the biggest alcohol spending spree of my life.

Have fun; I managed the wines for my brother's wedding, which was a similar size, and I had a blast shopping for everything.
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
Vox_Veritas
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9/14/2016 10:23:07 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Get married in a small chapel, with only immediate family members and closest friends present. Ceremony lasts twenty minutes tops. The group then goes to your house afterwards and every person present brings a food item and a drink. Buy a wedding cake and have somebody there serve as the photographer.

Do this and you will save a lot of money. According to one source, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is $26,645. A wedding lasts a single day; therefore, spending that much money on one absolutely isn't worth it.
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bsh1
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9/14/2016 10:26:09 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congrats, Raisor :)
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bballcrook21
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9/14/2016 10:31:10 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Get a prenup.
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ShabShoral
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9/14/2016 11:25:07 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Awww
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YYW
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9/15/2016 12:17:58 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

First, congratulations.

Second, let your wife to be plan the wedding... but be sure she doesn't spend too much money.
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Raisor
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9/15/2016 12:23:12 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 10:23:07 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Get married in a small chapel, with only immediate family members and closest friends present. Ceremony lasts twenty minutes tops. The group then goes to your house afterwards and every person present brings a food item and a drink. Buy a wedding cake and have somebody there serve as the photographer.

Do this and you will save a lot of money. According to one source, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is $26,645. A wedding lasts a single day; therefore, spending that much money on one absolutely isn't worth it.

Yeah it sounds like I'm about average.

I actually think it is worth it. There have been a lot of really nice weddings I've been to over the years, and good food, good drink, good company, lots of dancing make it all memorable. We are trying to focus on spending money on things that will be memorable to guests. If you want an inexpensive wedding you really have to work to make it nice; I have been to obviously cheap weddings and you can tell. The nice inexpensive weddings I have been to/heard about tend to have been facilitated by connections to someone with a good property or culinary resources.

Also our gust list is as small as I would like it. There are maybe 6 people, including people from my fiance's list, that I don't have a valuable relationship with.
Raisor
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9/15/2016 12:25:04 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/15/2016 12:17:58 AM, YYW wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

First, congratulations.

Second, let your wife to be plan the wedding... but be sure she doesn't spend too much money.

First, I am more demanding than she is.

Second, we are DINK- she is trying to make sure I don't spend too much money lol

(Third, thanks!)
Raisor
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9/15/2016 12:28:22 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 10:26:09 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

Congrats, Raisor :)

Thanks!
Raisor
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9/15/2016 12:39:00 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 5:21:15 PM, FaustianJustice wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?


Find a venue that has both indoor and outdoor amenity.


Check, venue has an urban rooftop garden.

Establish a hard time table for receiving wedding photos from a photographer, should you hire one, as well as what photos you want during the ceremony.


That is good advice, haven't even thought about that.

Be cognizant of the groom's men and bride's maids budget. If you are going for a uber impressive uniform (or rented) look, help front some cash.

We are having a hippy wedding, no wedding party but we are trying to encourage lots of informal speeches from friends and family.

A good caterer is hard to find, but ZOMGA worth the money if you find a good one. Read reviews, compare price points, but don't let price alone determine the decision.

Ergh...that's where we are struggling. Every $5pp is like $500, so its killer comparing different places. I'm also sort of on the fence about this. I feel like it is pretty acceptable for wedding food to be meh. There's only one wedding I can think of that really had good food; most of the weddings I've really enjoyed have been due to venue, music, company, and quality of bar (that might just say something about me though lol).

The DJ works for you, not his/her personal stylings. If there are songs you don't want played that are usually played at weddings (Chicken dance, etc), tell them not to play them. Tell them twice. Give them a post it note the day of.

Haha yes good advice.

Our wedding officiate (preisty-thing) was a package deal that coordinated the crowd while the post ceremony pictures were being taken. See if you can find some one that can perform the ceremony, possibly aid with a rehearsal, and manage the audience. Said officiate also kept tabs on the "well wishes" box, aka the cards with the cash in them, and made sure it was secure once everyone was seated for dinner.

We are skipping ceremony and have asked a family member to officiate (though he seems on the fence about it).

Thank you cards. They need to get done. Relatively timely. Its wrist breaking, but it needs to be done.

I'm on board with this. We are stating no gifts, but cards are appreciated.

On the matter of the rehearsal dinner, if you have out of town parents or close family of the bride/groom, it would be a nice touch to invite them.

No rehearsal dinner, but we are trying to rent out a hip B+B for our immediate family.

Good advice!
Raisor
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9/15/2016 12:43:25 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/14/2016 9:24:43 PM, Skepsikyma wrote:
At 9/14/2016 6:06:20 PM, Raisor wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:58:34 PM, Skepsikyma wrote:
At 9/14/2016 1:13:52 PM, Raisor wrote:
I'm getting married next summer. Anyone have advice on wedding planning?

If there are going to a be a lot of young women, invest heavily in both dry and semi-dry roses.

The venue is byob...I am really looking forward to going in the biggest alcohol spending spree of my life.

Have fun; I managed the wines for my brother's wedding, which was a similar size, and I had a blast shopping for everything.

I literally have a list of who in my family likes what beer, what wine, what cocktail. There are more than a few people I'm looking forward to pull aside to show them the "good stuff" I got just for them- in exchange for a room-wide toast in my bride's honor lol