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do you think i have social anxiety?

dietorangesoda
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11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own
triangle.128k
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11/4/2016 2:54:14 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

I hate to offer a really stupid solution, but have you actually tried to approach people? I used to be sort of the same way mainly in elementary school and again in middle school for some short time. I solved this by simply just approaching people and not worrying and overthinking things, or waiting for people to approach me.

Before you get any 'professional help' from a psychiatrist or whatever, why don't you actually try to just approach people and not think about it? I'm guessing you're too worried, you overthink things in social situations, or are somewhat shy.
dietorangesoda
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11/4/2016 3:02:45 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:54:14 AM, triangle.128k wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

I hate to offer a really stupid solution, but have you actually tried to approach people? I used to be sort of the same way mainly in elementary school and again in middle school for some short time. I solved this by simply just approaching people and not worrying and overthinking things, or waiting for people to approach me.

Before you get any 'professional help' from a psychiatrist or whatever, why don't you actually try to just approach people and not think about it? I'm guessing you're too worried, you overthink things in social situations, or are somewhat shy.

yes and its very hard for me to do that i don't know why i guess i'm afraid the person or group will think i'm weird or i won't get a good reaction
Axonly
Posts: 1,802
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11/4/2016 11:43:15 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Becareful when asking random people online, because they are removed from the situation and usually aren't experts. Listening to their advice is fine, but just skeptical about the advice they give.

This is hypocritical, but here are my thoughts:
Based on what you have said, it sounds likely that you have some form of social anxiety, but this is best diagnosed by a professional

You said you're looking for advice that doesn't involve therapy, but you should know that therapy can be extremely effective, and it's highly recommended you do at least try it.

Social anxiety is often involved with, or may help lead to depression, so be careful to watch out for that.

To overcome this anxiety, you may like to try taking small steps to being more comfortable in social situations ie saying hello to someone once a day, then perhaps moving up to making brief talk with someone once a day.

Websites I recommend reading
http://www.succeedsocially.com...
http://www.helpguide.org...
http://socialphobia.org...

Often people with social anxiety have low opinions of themselves and of how likable they are, just remember that you are a great person and there will always be people who like you and will want to be friends with you :)

Hope this helped, but as I have said, professional advice is infinitely better than random people's!
Meh!
Vaarka
Posts: 7,611
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11/4/2016 12:27:06 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.
This reminds me a little of my sister, except I don't think she's been mortified by having the wrong amount of money. She also works retail, so she has to talk to people though she tends to hate most of the people that come to the counter (because they're idiots, and most people who work retail can agree).

I think most people struggle with small talk, myself included. Talking with people I don't know, and sometimes even people I do know, can be awkward. If there's a clear subject that I can partake in, that makes it easier, but starting the conversation, especially with someone who doesn't know the subject very well, isn't easy for many people. I think that social media can fuel this, because we get used to having the option of joining a conversation, taking time to respond, thinking out what we say.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
It sounds like you have some form of it, though idk if it's very "severe" or not. If you struggle to make friends in real life, then realize that most people do.
My way around this was not to worry as much about "what do I say", and more about "can I respond?". If people talk to me, I usually try to respond in some way, and over time that's just become more defaulted and easy. I even say hello to random people and just ask them about something that I know they could answer, like "how's your project for physics looking?", or something else that can engage a small conversation. It's not always much, but it seems to be something.
I love talking and telling stories, but most of the time people lose interest in what I'm saying, or they don't know/understand what I'm talking about. Over time, plus because of a few events from grade school, I don't talk as much about random things as I used to, and I'm not as loud as I once was (unless I'm really passionate or getting into the conversation).

I think a good friend in your case would be someone a little more outgoing, but someone who also acknowledges that you're not very social. They don't have to be popular or anything, but that kind of person who can talk, who can help push your boundaries a little by talking to you, or inviting you to group events, but at the same time acknowledge that you aren't always comfortable in certain environments, and don't force you to do anything extreme. I say this because you sound like the kind of person who wants a friend, but don't feel comfortable doing so, and thus don't feel encouraged to do so. It's good to have a friend, especially one that's different than you in the social aspect, because if you just make friends with someone who's just as socially awkward, then you two might end up not sticking together for long. Having a social friend, however, makes them more likely to try and stick around, to talk with you. Besides, if you do have a friend, it's nice to have them when you actually have something to talk about.

Of course, the easiest way to get that kind of more-social friend in your case isn't as much on your part, but on their part. Sure, you should try and keep the friendship alive, but you are less likely to start it than they are.

Also, even if your symptoms do point to a form of autism, that isn't bad. Social anxiety is usually just a symptom of it, and even if it's just the slightest, even if it's Asperger syndrome or something (which is basically the stage before even very light autism), then it's not bad. It's just a part of who you are, and you can get past the social anxiety and awkwardness, even if it takes a while.

Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Well, there are plenty of users here (myself included) who would be happy to be your friend. If you want to talk (or something), you can feel free to PM me at any time, and I'll talk, listen, whatever you want. I'm happy to help in any way I can ^.^
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MattTheDreamer
Posts: 1,401
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11/4/2016 6:42:55 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
It might not work for you, but try joining a drama / acting club. I was not self confident at all when I was younger and was terrified of social situations. Acting allowed me to talk to hundreds of people without being face to face and it made smaller interactions much easier.

If not, perhaps join a club about an activity you're intrested in? They'll surely be loads of people you can connect with.
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/4/2016 8:08:21 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 6:42:55 PM, MattTheDreamer wrote:
It might not work for you, but try joining a drama / acting club. I was not self confident at all when I was younger and was terrified of social situations. Acting allowed me to talk to hundreds of people without being face to face and it made smaller interactions much easier.

If not, perhaps join a club about an activity you're intrested in? They'll surely be loads of people you can connect with.

i was in the drama club my sophomore year of high school i hated it i'd stress for 2 days when i had to do a monologue and was bland and a boring actress i don't think i'm cut out for social situations like acting
Benshapiro
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11/4/2016 9:53:31 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 12:27:06 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.
This reminds me a little of my sister, except I don't think she's been mortified by having the wrong amount of money. She also works retail, so she has to talk to people though she tends to hate most of the people that come to the counter (because they're idiots, and most people who work retail can agree).

I think most people struggle with small talk, myself included. Talking with people I don't know, and sometimes even people I do know, can be awkward. If there's a clear subject that I can partake in, that makes it easier, but starting the conversation, especially with someone who doesn't know the subject very well, isn't easy for many people. I think that social media can fuel this, because we get used to having the option of joining a conversation, taking time to respond, thinking out what we say.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
It sounds like you have some form of it, though idk if it's very "severe" or not. If you struggle to make friends in real life, then realize that most people do.
My way around this was not to worry as much about "what do I say", and more about "can I respond?". If people talk to me, I usually try to respond in some way, and over time that's just become more defaulted and easy. I even say hello to random people and just ask them about something that I know they could answer, like "how's your project for physics looking?", or something else that can engage a small conversation. It's not always much, but it seems to be something.
I love talking and telling stories, but most of the time people lose interest in what I'm saying, or they don't know/understand what I'm talking about. Over time, plus because of a few events from grade school, I don't talk as much about random things as I used to, and I'm not as loud as I once was (unless I'm really passionate or getting into the conversation).

I think a good friend in your case would be someone a little more outgoing, but someone who also acknowledges that you're not very social. They don't have to be popular or anything, but that kind of person who can talk, who can help push your boundaries a little by talking to you, or inviting you to group events, but at the same time acknowledge that you aren't always comfortable in certain environments, and don't force you to do anything extreme. I say this because you sound like the kind of person who wants a friend, but don't feel comfortable doing so, and thus don't feel encouraged to do so. It's good to have a friend, especially one that's different than you in the social aspect, because if you just make friends with someone who's just as socially awkward, then you two might end up not sticking together for long. Having a social friend, however, makes them more likely to try and stick around, to talk with you. Besides, if you do have a friend, it's nice to have them when you actually have something to talk about.

Of course, the easiest way to get that kind of more-social friend in your case isn't as much on your part, but on their part. Sure, you should try and keep the friendship alive, but you are less likely to start it than they are.

Also, even if your symptoms do point to a form of autism, that isn't bad. Social anxiety is usually just a symptom of it, and even if it's just the slightest, even if it's Asperger syndrome or something (which is basically the stage before even very light autism), then it's not bad. It's just a part of who you are, and you can get past the social anxiety and awkwardness, even if it takes a while.

Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Well, there are plenty of users here (myself included) who would be happy to be your friend. If you want to talk (or something), you can feel free to PM me at any time, and I'll talk, listen, whatever you want. I'm happy to help in any way I can ^.^

Good advice!
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,074
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11/6/2016 3:58:54 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Do you find that your voice is monotone? Do you generally avoid eye contact with people?
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dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/6/2016 4:13:40 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/6/2016 3:58:54 AM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Do you find that your voice is monotone? Do you generally avoid eye contact with people?

i'm not autistic and i'm a girl so hard to say what my voice sounds like it's kinda deep for a girl tho
Hiu
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11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat
Hiu
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11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess
Hiu
Posts: 1,005
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11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess

Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/7/2016 5:21:24 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess



Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.

my main problem is talking to people initiating conversations and such i have a hard time with small talk
Discipulus_Didicit
Posts: 3,089
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11/8/2016 6:22:42 AM
Posted: 4 weeks ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites.

Uhhhh...
Cobalt - You could be scum too.
Matt - I suppose. But I also might not be.

Kiri - Yeah, I don't know what DD is doing.
Vaarka - He's doin'a thingy do

DD - The best advice most often goes unheeded.
Wise Man - KYS, DD.
DD - Case in point ^
dietorangesoda
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11/8/2016 11:23:06 PM
Posted: 4 weeks ago
At 11/8/2016 6:22:42 AM, Discipulus_Didicit wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites.

Uhhhh...

lol yes i get the irony
Discipulus_Didicit
Posts: 3,089
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11/9/2016 5:59:06 AM
Posted: 4 weeks ago
At 11/8/2016 11:23:06 PM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/8/2016 6:22:42 AM, Discipulus_Didicit wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites.

Uhhhh...

lol yes i get the irony

That's one word you could use for it I suppose.
Cobalt - You could be scum too.
Matt - I suppose. But I also might not be.

Kiri - Yeah, I don't know what DD is doing.
Vaarka - He's doin'a thingy do

DD - The best advice most often goes unheeded.
Wise Man - KYS, DD.
DD - Case in point ^
Vaarka
Posts: 7,611
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11/9/2016 1:39:04 PM
Posted: 4 weeks ago
At 11/7/2016 5:21:24 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess



Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.

my main problem is talking to people initiating conversations and such i have a hard time with small talk

If someone else were to start the conversation and keep it going, would that be easier for you?
Do you have any subjects or shows or fandoms or books or whatever that you particularly enjoy and could talk about with someone who knew what it was?
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/9/2016 8:25:42 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/9/2016 1:39:04 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 11/7/2016 5:21:24 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess



Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.

my main problem is talking to people initiating conversations and such i have a hard time with small talk

If someone else were to start the conversation and keep it going, would that be easier for you?
Do you have any subjects or shows or fandoms or books or whatever that you particularly enjoy and could talk about with someone who knew what it was?

i'm not sure because i never speak abt my interests
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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11/13/2016 2:09:15 AM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:

You say you are afraid of interaction, but what also caught my attention is that you also mentioned you weren't "interested" in what they had to say. Are you both afraid and uninterested in them?

My mother was schizophrenic, which is probably why I inherited some avoidant traits. I am no psychologist but I don't look at such things as treatable. Nothing can cure me, and I would be absolutely shocked if you could just talk to some shrink and cure yourself.

It sounds to me as if your condition, like mine, is simply part of your personality. The way I like to think about it (playfully) is this: before I was born, I was allowed to choose some traits about myself, but if I picked many good ones I would necesarily have to balance it out with bad ones. Perhaps there are things about yourself which are really good, making you a fortunate person, and if you could press a button right now and make yourself "normal" you would have to relinquish some of what makes you good. Just a thought!
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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11/13/2016 2:19:56 AM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
Yes, you do have social anxiety. I highly recommend getting this book:

https://www.amazon.com...
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/13/2016 2:57:19 AM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/13/2016 2:09:15 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:

You say you are afraid of interaction, but what also caught my attention is that you also mentioned you weren't "interested" in what they had to say. Are you both afraid and uninterested in them?

My mother was schizophrenic, which is probably why I inherited some avoidant traits. I am no psychologist but I don't look at such things as treatable. Nothing can cure me, and I would be absolutely shocked if you could just talk to some shrink and cure yourself.

It sounds to me as if your condition, like mine, is simply part of your personality. The way I like to think about it (playfully) is this: before I was born, I was allowed to choose some traits about myself, but if I picked many good ones I would necesarily have to balance it out with bad ones. Perhaps there are things about yourself which are really good, making you a fortunate person, and if you could press a button right now and make yourself "normal" you would have to relinquish some of what makes you good. Just a thought!

yes but my mother was not a schizophrenic my father may have suffered from a mental disorder but nobody is sure what it is i don't know if this would help but i havent always been this way when i was a kid i was shy but i did have friends and once i warmed up to someone i was fine
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/13/2016 2:58:12 AM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/13/2016 2:09:15 AM, R0b1Billion wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:

You say you are afraid of interaction, but what also caught my attention is that you also mentioned you weren't "interested" in what they had to say. Are you both afraid and uninterested in them?

My mother was schizophrenic, which is probably why I inherited some avoidant traits. I am no psychologist but I don't look at such things as treatable. Nothing can cure me, and I would be absolutely shocked if you could just talk to some shrink and cure yourself.

It sounds to me as if your condition, like mine, is simply part of your personality. The way I like to think about it (playfully) is this: before I was born, I was allowed to choose some traits about myself, but if I picked many good ones I would necesarily have to balance it out with bad ones. Perhaps there are things about yourself which are really good, making you a fortunate person, and if you could press a button right now and make yourself "normal" you would have to relinquish some of what makes you good. Just a thought!

yes but my mother was not a schizophrenic my father may have suffered from a mental disorder but nobody is sure what it is i don't know if this would help but i havent always been this way when i was a kid i was shy but i did have friends and once i warmed up to someone i was fine it wasn't until i hit a certain age that this happened.
Vaarka
Posts: 7,611
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11/13/2016 2:48:59 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/9/2016 8:25:42 PM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/9/2016 1:39:04 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 11/7/2016 5:21:24 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess



Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.

my main problem is talking to people initiating conversations and such i have a hard time with small talk

If someone else were to start the conversation and keep it going, would that be easier for you?
Do you have any subjects or shows or fandoms or books or whatever that you particularly enjoy and could talk about with someone who knew what it was?

i'm not sure because i never speak abt my interests

Well, what interests do you have?
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
dietorangesoda
Posts: 34
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11/13/2016 6:35:02 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
At 11/13/2016 2:48:59 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 11/9/2016 8:25:42 PM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/9/2016 1:39:04 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 11/7/2016 5:21:24 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:59:12 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 3:09:15 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:04:28 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/7/2016 2:02:23 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
At 11/7/2016 1:25:48 AM, Hiu wrote:
At 11/4/2016 2:44:46 AM, dietorangesoda wrote:
i hope nobody minds me getting this personal but i just wanted some advice from real people and not from websites. For years now i've had the hardest time with social interaction i don't have any friends and am just generally uninterested in making them when i do get around other people i struggle to make small talk i prefer to be quiet and make them do all the talking. I hate going up to cashiers in stores and so will always use the self checkout if possible the other day i was buying something for my mom and went up to the cashier and didn't have the right amount of money and was mortified i nearly cried when i got home.

Honestly i could write all night about my various symptoms but i won't do that i have looked this up on websites and taken internet tests and they all say i do have it and probably severely. Sometimes i want to be social but most of the time i am very uninterested in other people and their lives my mom doesn't understand this at all and sometimes calls me autistic which only pisses me off because i know that's not it i was always shy but used to have a good circle of friends and make conversation with people now i just sit at home i used to have internet friends but they seem to have dried up too.
Anyway just wanting to know your take on it and is there anything i can do to fix it without therapy? Don't really have the money to do it and don't want to anyway i just want to do it on my own

Perhaps you have Asociality

https://en.wikipedia.org...

Which is an umbrella term for various psychiatric disorders, one of which is Avoidant Personality disorder....However I'm not here to diagnose you because there is probably more to the story than what you've stated here but this came to my mind.

honestly this sounds a lot like me but i seriously hope i'm not suffering from a personality disorder because there the hardest to treat

I think the best thing to do is perhaps speak to a professional to get the crux of your social anxiety. If left unchecked, it may lead to other behavioral issues.

i did some research on avoidant personality disorder and while some of the symptoms sound like me i'm just not sure i really need a professional to diagnose me i guess



Hmm well perhaps you may want to do some behavioral modification then such as gradually getting out and around people. Start with your own family or anyone that you are most comfortable with and try and get out like a bookstore or a fair.

my main problem is talking to people initiating conversations and such i have a hard time with small talk

If someone else were to start the conversation and keep it going, would that be easier for you?
Do you have any subjects or shows or fandoms or books or whatever that you particularly enjoy and could talk about with someone who knew what it was?

i'm not sure because i never speak abt my interests

Well, what interests do you have?

well i like food a lot and i want to be a photographer so i look at a lot of photos i like music i don't have a lot of interests but a few
Devilry
Posts: 464
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11/13/2016 9:38:15 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
Listen, lady - nobody's good at small talk. Or, rather, small talk isn't a thing in itself, or not anything anyone cares a single f*ck about. It's not going to help you to be able to exchange comments about the weather or other mundane bullsht like that. It might help you to talk about sport, or clothes, or other, just more relevant things - things that there's a bit of a game in them, a taste for life, if you will. So just fcking want things, and be prepared to look like a fool to get them. Be prepared to fail. Yes, you have social anxiety. Sounds pretty ridiculously severe too.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
Devilry
Posts: 464
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11/13/2016 9:44:42 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
Honestly, I look back on my life and cringe at near fcking everything I've ever been. But I was never shy about it. And I had a lot of fun in it.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
Devilry
Posts: 464
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11/13/2016 9:47:55 PM
Posted: 3 weeks ago
You should also try fix your teeth.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.