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Am I Overreacting?

nonentity
Posts: 5,008
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1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I can't tell you how many guys (white, black, Indian, etc.) have said to me "I'm usually not into black girls but..." and then pay me a compliment. Or guys who say "You're cute for a [dark-skinned/black] girl".

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

Am I the only one who finds all of the above offensive or do you think any of those are genuine compliments?
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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1/26/2011 2:07:54 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Yeah, that's both utterly offensive and a compliment.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
nonentity
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1/26/2011 2:14:31 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:07:54 AM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Yeah, that's both utterly offensive and a compliment.

It's so frustrating. Some white guy hit on me and I was completely interested. I would not have blown him off if he hadn't said "I'm not usually into black girls, but..." I told him that that wasn't a compliment and his response was "Take it how you want but that's a compliment."
Sangers
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1/26/2011 2:19:13 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
It's so frustrating. Some white guy hit on me and I was completely interested. I would not have blown him off if he hadn't said "I'm not usually into black girls, but..." I told him that that wasn't a compliment and his response was "Take it how you want but that's a compliment."

That's horrible o.0... Is Toronto generally conservative?
nonentity
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1/26/2011 2:23:21 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:19:13 AM, Sangers wrote:

That's horrible o.0... Is Toronto generally conservative?

I guess it depends on what you're comparing it to but I would say no. It's one of the most multicultural cities in the world, if not, the most.
TheSkeptic
Posts: 1,362
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1/26/2011 2:30:23 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
tbh, I don't see much to be offended about. There are two sensible ways to interpret "I'm not usually into X race":

1. They have some reason (most likely irrational) to be disgusted or turned away from members of a certain race because of certain quality traits or purported common behaviors found in race X (usually negative). If someone were to mean this when they said the aforementioned 'compliment', yeah I can understand how that's terribly offensive and outright racist.

but most likely...

2. They mean to refer to general physical traits found in members of a certain race. This shouldn't come as a surprise, as any sensible person can tell you that there are definitely physical differences between races; the difference may be minuscule, and there are many anomalies, but trends and common physical traits can be found in every race.
Sangers
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1/26/2011 2:30:43 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:23:21 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:19:13 AM, Sangers wrote:

That's horrible o.0... Is Toronto generally conservative?

I guess it depends on what you're comparing it to but I would say no. It's one of the most multicultural cities in the world, if not, the most.

Bah..maybe it was just that guy? Australia can be like that too, but you don't see it much after adulthood. Just middle school and some high school :( I'm sorry...
annhasle
Posts: 6,657
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1/26/2011 3:00:58 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Oh my fvcking Jesus, I know what you're talking about. Most of my friends are black since... Well, I grew up poor. Lol. Anyways, every time I met a guy in Atlanta, Kansas City or Compton... They would say, "Wow, I'm usually not into white girls but..." Are you serious? As though my skin color predicates how I will act? But the worst was, "I can tell you grew up with a black family. I've never been attracted to a white girl." Gah, really? <shakes head>

And even here in Seattle I get that! They're so genuinely shocked that a white girl can stand up for herself or that I have black friends/family... And even though they think they're complimenting me, it feels like an insult. If I didn't have black family, I would just be ignored? I finally asked that to a friend of mine and he replied, "Who wants to be with a white girl? Don't worry, we don't think of you like that. You're closer to a dude than a white girl." Yeah, thanks for that...
I'm not back. This idiot just upset me which made me stop lurking.
Cerebral_Narcissist
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1/26/2011 3:26:46 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
The OP made me cringe, I can so easily see why those comments are offensive, however I think they are generally intended to be compliments. People are just retarded.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
Cerebral_Narcissist
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1/26/2011 3:29:21 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:14:31 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:07:54 AM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Yeah, that's both utterly offensive and a compliment.

It's so frustrating. Some white guy hit on me and I was completely interested. I would not have blown him off if he hadn't said "I'm not usually into black girls, but..." I told him that that wasn't a compliment and his response was "Take it how you want but that's a compliment."

You should have said to him "normally I am not into white guys..." looked him up and down and then said "yea... this is no exception".
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
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1/26/2011 3:43:43 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Wow, this sounds like something I would say without thinking, but it sounds horribly offensive when I think about it now. If I said it, I would mean that you have a unique look, personality and energy that makes me attracted to you. In my mind, it wouldn't be like a racial thing; it's really just a personal observation/self reflection. It's like saying, "you know, I'm usually not into redheads, but there's just something about you; you have a really unique energy and outlook." Actually, it's not even that - I think it's just a cognitive bias. There aren't enough black girls around me, so my brain says that I'm not into black girls. At least 50% of people in general are unattractive, so if I only interact with 1 or two black girls a year, and I'm not attracted to them, my brain tells me they are not my type. If there had been as many black girls as Asians at my college, I'd probably think they were my type.

This all seems weird cuz my first kiss was with a really cool black girl. Guess that was awhile ago though.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
bluesteel
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1/26/2011 3:45:04 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 3:29:21 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:14:31 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:07:54 AM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Yeah, that's both utterly offensive and a compliment.

It's so frustrating. Some white guy hit on me and I was completely interested. I would not have blown him off if he hadn't said "I'm not usually into black girls, but..." I told him that that wasn't a compliment and his response was "Take it how you want but that's a compliment."

You should have said to him "normally I am not into guys with small penises..." looked him up and down and then said "yea... this is no exception".

fix'd

Wouldn't work for ann's problem though...
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
PARADIGM_L0ST
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1/26/2011 5:46:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM, nonentity wrote:
I can't tell you how many guys (white, black, Indian, etc.) have said to me "I'm usually not into black girls but..." and then pay me a compliment. Or guys who say "You're cute for a [dark-skinned/black] girl".

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

Am I the only one who finds all of the above offensive or do you think any of those are genuine compliments?:

LOL! I think they're intending to compliment you, but there is an insinuation that they're not normally attracted to black women.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
popculturepooka
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1/26/2011 8:20:11 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM, nonentity wrote:
I can't tell you how many guys (white, black, Indian, etc.) have said to me "I'm usually not into black girls but..." and then pay me a compliment. Or guys who say "You're cute for a [dark-skinned/black] girl".

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

Am I the only one who finds all of the above offensive or do you think any of those are genuine compliments?

Lol, I've gotten that before (well obviously not the girl part). It's a bit like a backhanded compliment that I've learned to kind of just laugh and shrug off.
At 10/3/2016 11:49:13 PM, thett3 wrote:
BLACK LIVES MATTER!
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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1/26/2011 8:27:58 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 3:26:46 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
The OP made me cringe, I can so easily see why those comments are offensive, however I think they are generally intended to be compliments. People are just retarded.

agreed with this...

and the latter part of the skeptic's comment.

people are attracted to different kinds of people... some people like skinny people.. some like athletic people.. some like roundish people.. Blondes, brunettes... etc etc.

similarly, thanks to such preferences... some people are generally naturally attracted to X group more than Y...

Now, that's the absolute crappiest and most ridiculous "pick up" line i've ever heard.. and a horrendous, and confusing, way of starting a conversation... and the guy must be absolutely retarded..

but he's not necessarily a racist.. just dumb as a brick.. and probably unsensitive :/
and.. maybe a racist :?
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
askbob
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1/26/2011 8:41:37 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM, nonentity wrote:
I can't tell you how many guys (white, black, Indian, etc.) have said to me "I'm usually not into black girls but..." and then pay me a compliment. Or guys who say "You're cute for a [dark-skinned/black] girl".

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

Am I the only one who finds all of the above offensive or do you think any of those are genuine compliments?

I'm sure they're all genuine compliments I don't know about the Jamaican comments about not looking "African".

I can see how both can be completely offensive.

They're basically saying that they do not enjoy, sexually, the characteristics that define dark skin people. Be they typically larger hips, etc.

Just think of them rephrasing it as "I'm not typically attracted to gingers, but you're hott"

Regular Ginger - http://www.stockphotography.co.uk...

Hott Ginger - http://media.photobucket.com...

It's just sexual preference and if they are consistently saying that then you are doing something/have physical characteristics that are not typical of your race that they find appealing.
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
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Me - i was being completely sarcastic
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askbob
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1/26/2011 8:43:56 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Also I wished everyone viewed me as beautiful.
Me -Phil left the site in my charge. I have a recorded phone conversation to prove it.
kohai -If you're the owner, then do something useful like ip block him and get us away from juggle and on a dofferent host!
Me -haha you apparently don't know my history
Kohai - Maybe not, but that doesn't matter! You shoukd still listen to your community and quit being a tyrrant!
Me - i was being completely sarcastic
Kohai - then u misrepresented yourself by impersonating the owner—a violation of the tos
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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1/26/2011 9:17:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
One thing thats struck me as odd, people seem to think that not tending to be attracted to a specific race is somehow the result of a prejudicial dislike of how that race acts. Which really makes no sense. It is possible to generally not find yourself attracted to a certain race, thats not in of itself racist.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
PARADIGM_L0ST
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1/26/2011 9:18:15 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 8:43:56 AM, askbob wrote:
Also I wished everyone viewed me as beautiful.:

(In my best Borat impersonation) You're beautiful to me Bob, and I want to make a'the sexy time with you!
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
brian_eggleston
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1/26/2011 9:21:22 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM, nonentity wrote:

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

During the summer I usually have a deep tan and people, both here and abroad, say I don't look English – as if that were a compliment – but I don't mind that at all; English people typically have quite pale, insipid, unattractive-looking complexions.
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Cerebral_Narcissist
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1/26/2011 9:23:22 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 9:21:22 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:03:54 AM, nonentity wrote:

Or people (especially Jamaicans and other Caribbeans) tell me "You don't look African" as if it's a compliment.

During the summer I usually have a deep tan and people, both here and abroad, say I don't look English – as if that were a compliment – but I don't mind that at all; English people typically have quite pale, insipid, unattractive-looking complexions.

Insipid power!
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
brian_eggleston
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1/26/2011 9:30:26 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 2:30:43 AM, Sangers wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:23:21 AM, nonentity wrote:
At 1/26/2011 2:19:13 AM, Sangers wrote:

That's horrible o.0... Is Toronto generally conservative?

I guess it depends on what you're comparing it to but I would say no. It's one of the most multicultural cities in the world, if not, the most.

Bah..maybe it was just that guy? Australia can be like that too, but you don't see it much after adulthood. Just middle school and some high school :( I'm sorry...

Right, so how many Abo' chicks have you been out with then?
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gavin.ogden
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1/26/2011 9:33:00 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
These people are obviously very ignorant, so maybe if you were to tell them that what they said can be taken in an offensive manner, they might learn something. Because you are probably somewhat more cultured than those you speak of, you may be able to bring a little culture into their life. Everyone could use that, from time to time.
GeoLaureate8
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1/26/2011 1:48:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Honestly, if you were interested, you shouldve gave him a chance even if his statement was incredibly retarded. People slip up sometimes.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/26/2011 2:16:39 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/26/2011 3:29:21 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
You should have said to him "normally I am not into white guys..." looked him up and down and then said "yea... this is no exception".

Lol, that's what I would have done ^^

To answer the OP, I think logically you should probably not be offended, but emotionally I can understand that initial reaction/feeling. I mean look at askbob's comment for instance. He showed a "regular" ging and then a "hot" ging. Well couldn't I show a "regular" brunette and a "hot" brunette? Lol race again is abstract (not to drudge up old/other threads :P ) so the real question is whether or not you think his comment was coming from a racist place or not. It probably wasn't. Regardless, that is not something I would say to a girl I was trying to hit on lol I mean what about that comment makes ME appear attractive to them? Ugh, guys are retarded sometimes lol I agree with all above posters who said that :p

To ann - I've never met a black guy who said "I'm usually not into white girls." They're all into white girls as far as I'm concerned :| Their standards for booty aren't really that high (no offense to you lol I mean that in general! They will sleep with any race!)... And by "they" I mean the ones who make comments like that :P
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