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I don't like the look of that Ron Paul

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7/11/2011 7:53:34 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I know what you are thinking, Thaddeus my good newt, you are British, you should not care! And you are quite right, I am British, but American politics is more interesting and no-one would listen to me if I moaned about British politicians. Besides, I'm a sky-pirate, I can do what I want.

I have many good reasons to not trust him. I shall be laying out some here.

1. He's old

As an anarchist, a core part of my ideology dictates that I find everyone over the age of 30 as pro-establishment and part of the problem. Unless they are dead. Then I may quote them. Besides, he may have decided that seeing as he is so old that hes not likely to survive til another election so he'll blow us all up for the hell of it.

2. His middle name is Ernest
Having read the importance of being earnest, I have discovered that all people claiming to have the name earnest are compulsive liars.
Furthermore, it is a shifty sort of name.

3. His first name is Ronald
He is associated with that ginger haired, fast food pedalling (as in to pedal a bike), turtle neck wearing bastard clown, Ronald Weasely. Is that the sort of man you want for president? I thought not.

4. He got a BS degree in Biology
Biology isn't a science. 'nuff said.

5. He looks a bit like Magneto
Actually, thats quite cool.

6. Dodgy eyebrows
They are there to distract attention from his even dodgier nose.

7. He has no known position on the Sabarazzi-Strudel Gnome incident.
I don't think its a coincidence that so many prominent politicians are ignoring such an important political and culinary event. Conspiracy? Definately.

8. No hat
No hat, no vote. Thats how it goes.

9. His hit "When doves cry" was a major let down
Just didn't live up to the hype

10. Used the noob tube on COD4
Bastard. (in a nice way)