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Predictions for 2012
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3/6/2012 8:27:52 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Seeing as its now the sixth of march I thought this would be the ideal time to post my predictions for the rest of the year.
- The world will not end in December. However, this is because of an administrative error which causes December not to happen. No-one notices that we skip a month.
- The internet fad dies out. The only people to use it by August are die-hard enthusiasts and old people who find adapting to change difficult
-Europe becomes a single nation and elects a kitten as the president. The kitten makes a series of public mistakes, including an affair with an older feline, and is impeached. He is replaced by a pet rock. His name is Tony Blair.
- All those people who thought were just creepy goth kids? Turns out they are vampires. However, blood makes them squeamish, so they just drink sunny d
- Sunny delight makes a come back
- Obama does not get re-elected after being revealed as a lizard from inside the hollow earth. He confesses to 9/11 and says he did it with lasers.
- Romney is elected. His first move is to abolish elections and names himself president for life. He officially changes his name to "A pimp named Slickback"
- Pizza is declared a mammal by congress.
- Australia gets pretty pissed with the rest of the world being fuckwits and moves the continent to the moon. They bring the beaches too.
- Experts declare Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings as historically accurate.
- Hello is phased out. People greet each other with "Wub wub wub wub"
- Jimtimmy continues to not get laid.