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Post Obama Jokes Here!

Microsuck
Posts: 1,562
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4/18/2012 9:23:42 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Post your favorite jokes about Barak Obama here. Please keep 'em clean.

Q. What is Obama's new 999 plan for America?
A. $9.99 a gallon gasoline.

Q, Why are jobs at all time lows and gas at all time highs?
A. Obama's back from vacation.

Doctor Seuss for 2011: "I do not like Barack Obam, I do not like his health care scam. I do not like that sneaky crook, or how he lies and cooks the books. I do not like it when he steals, I do not like his secret deals. I do not like that metro man, I do not like his 'YES WE CAN.' I do not like his spending spree, does he not know that nothing's free? I do not like his smug replies, I do not like his constant lies. I do not like his kind of hope. I do not like it. Nope, nope, nope."

The good news is that Obama has finally created some jobs. The bad news is that they're all in India.

Q. What's the difference between Obama opponents and Obama supporters?
A. The first group works for a living while the second group votes for a living.
Wall of Fail

Devil worship much? - SD
Newsflash: Atheists do not believe in the Devil! - Me
Newsflash: I doesnt matter if you think you do or not.....You do - SD

"you [imabench] are very naive and so i do not consider your opinions as having any merit. you must still be in highschool" - falconduler
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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4/18/2012 9:25:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Obama is a joke as it is.
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OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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4/18/2012 9:34:59 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 9:34:17 AM, Thaddeus wrote:
Oh dear.

*waits for 000ike#
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Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

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Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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4/18/2012 9:52:06 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
lol and you want a trial against "composer" because they called christians names??
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
1dustpelt
Posts: 1,970
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4/18/2012 9:53:43 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 9:52:06 AM, Oryus wrote:
lol and you want a trial against "composer" because they called christians names??

What Composer said was untrue and stupid.
Wall of LOL
"Infanticide is justified as long as the infants are below two" ~ RoyalPaladin
"Promoting female superiority is the only way to establish equality." ~ RoyalPaladin
"Jury trials should be banned. They're nothing more than opportunities for racists to destroy lives." ~ RoyalPaladin after the Zimmerman Trial.
Oryus
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4/18/2012 9:59:31 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 9:53:43 AM, 1dustpelt wrote:
At 4/18/2012 9:52:06 AM, Oryus wrote:
lol and you want a trial against "composer" because they called christians names??

What Composer said was untrue and stupid.

Hmmmm........ no comment.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Microsuck
Posts: 1,562
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4/18/2012 10:27:50 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 9:46:41 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
I'm sure you posted George Bush jokes 4 years ago, right, Micro?

Yup.
Wall of Fail

Devil worship much? - SD
Newsflash: Atheists do not believe in the Devil! - Me
Newsflash: I doesnt matter if you think you do or not.....You do - SD

"you [imabench] are very naive and so i do not consider your opinions as having any merit. you must still be in highschool" - falconduler
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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4/18/2012 10:31:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 10:27:50 AM, Microsuck wrote:
At 4/18/2012 9:46:41 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
I'm sure you posted George Bush jokes 4 years ago, right, Micro?

Yup.

Cool. Can you post some here? I would love to see them.
Microsuck
Posts: 1,562
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4/18/2012 10:34:02 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 10:31:07 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 4/18/2012 10:27:50 AM, Microsuck wrote:
At 4/18/2012 9:46:41 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
I'm sure you posted George Bush jokes 4 years ago, right, Micro?

Yup.

Cool. Can you post some here? I would love to see them.

BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLICANS

Mine Eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush;
He has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push;
He has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush;
The Doofus marches on.

I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool;
There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school;
Should we fault him for the policies -- or is he just their tool?
The lies keep piling on.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
His wreckage will live on.

I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir;
As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier;
Let the smokestacks keep polluting -- do we really need clean air?
The surplus is now gone.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Your safety net is gone!

Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state;
Though the whole world knows its crazy -- and the U.N. says to wait;
When he doesn't have the evidence, "We must prevaricate."
Diplomacy is done!

Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds;
Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds;
Enraging several billions -- to his brainlessness redounds;
The Doofus marches on!

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
THIS...DOO...FUS...MAR...CHES...ON
Wall of Fail

Devil worship much? - SD
Newsflash: Atheists do not believe in the Devil! - Me
Newsflash: I doesnt matter if you think you do or not.....You do - SD

"you [imabench] are very naive and so i do not consider your opinions as having any merit. you must still be in highschool" - falconduler
Microsuck
Posts: 1,562
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4/18/2012 10:35:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Video correction:
Wall of Fail

Devil worship much? - SD
Newsflash: Atheists do not believe in the Devil! - Me
Newsflash: I doesnt matter if you think you do or not.....You do - SD

"you [imabench] are very naive and so i do not consider your opinions as having any merit. you must still be in highschool" - falconduler
thett3
Posts: 14,382
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4/18/2012 12:39:01 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Have you heard of the Obama McDonald's? It's great; you go buy whatever you want, and the guy behind you has to pay for it!!

Don't give me any flak for this people, it's just a joke
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
lewis20
Posts: 5,093
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4/18/2012 12:42:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Jay Leno had a good one the other night.

"President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 than he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama."

http://www.realclearpolitics.com...
"If you are a racist I will attack you with the north"- Abraham Lincoln

"Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material" - Leviticus 19 19

"War is a racket" - Smedley Butler
Microsuck
Posts: 1,562
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4/18/2012 12:51:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 12:42:28 PM, lewis20 wrote:
Jay Leno had a good one the other night.

"President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 than he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama."

http://www.realclearpolitics.com...

That is a good one! +1!
Wall of Fail

Devil worship much? - SD
Newsflash: Atheists do not believe in the Devil! - Me
Newsflash: I doesnt matter if you think you do or not.....You do - SD

"you [imabench] are very naive and so i do not consider your opinions as having any merit. you must still be in highschool" - falconduler
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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4/18/2012 3:58:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 12:39:01 PM, thett3 wrote:
Have you heard of the Obama McDonald's? It's great; you go buy whatever you want, and the guy behind you has to pay for it!!


Don't give me any flak for this people, it's just a joke

That would just loop infinitely so that everyone but the first person in line would have to pay. If the line ever ends, then the last person would not have to pay as well.
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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4/18/2012 3:58:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 3:58:28 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 4/18/2012 12:39:01 PM, thett3 wrote:
Have you heard of the Obama McDonald's? It's great; you go buy whatever you want, and the guy behind you has to pay for it!!


Don't give me any flak for this people, it's just a joke

That would just loop infinitely so that everyone but the first person in line would have to pay. If the line ever ends, then the last person would not have to pay as well.

In fact, assuming the line never ends, that sounds like aristocracy to me :p
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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4/18/2012 4:21:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 3:56:52 PM, charleslb wrote:
"Microsuck", hmm, is that perhaps what your girlfriend calls it when she performs oral sex upon you? You know, in reference to the minuscule size of what she's applying suction to? This reminds me that I've always suspected that the name Bill Gates chose for his company, Microsoft, is perhaps quite self-revealing in a Freudian sort of way. Well, if you doubt that capitalists and their defenders might be overcompensating just consider Donald Trump and Rush Limbaugh.

Maturity levels at maximum for you Charleslb.

Awww, is your wittle hero Obambi being attacked?

Sooooo, saaaaaaaaad.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OBERHERR'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

"Cases are anti-town." - FourTrouble

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thett3
Posts: 14,382
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4/18/2012 4:37:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 3:56:52 PM, charleslb wrote:
"Microsuck", hmm, is that perhaps what your girlfriend calls it when she performs oral sex upon you? You know, in reference to the minuscule size of what she's applying suction to? This reminds me that I've always suspected that the name Bill Gates chose for his company, Microsoft, is perhaps quite self-revealing in a Freudian sort of way. Well, if you doubt that capitalists and their defenders might be overcompensating just consider Donald Trump and Rush Limbaugh.

Microsuck is a homosexual.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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4/18/2012 5:12:58 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 9:52:06 AM, Oryus wrote:
lol and you want a trial against "composer" because they called christians names??

He's posting jokes about Obama, not liberals in general.

Still, I don't see how this is productive and will likely end in a flame war. Lets watch.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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4/18/2012 6:26:13 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Q. What does Barack Obama intend to do about the Washington, D.C. earthquake?
A. Blame it on George Bush.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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4/18/2012 6:27:52 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Barack Obama's Budget Rules

1. If Obama calls deficit spending an investment, then it must not cost anything.

2. Cutting a billion dollars from the military justifies giving a trillion dollars to bankers.

3. When Obama sends a spending proposal to Congress, it doesn't count if they want to spend even more.

4. If Obama reduces a proposed increase in spending, he counts it as a budget cut.

5. When Obama eliminates our deductions, the higher payments we make aren't a tax increase.

6. Obama's budget is like his golf game. He eventually winds up in the hole.

7. Higher taxes are Obama's way to stop you from thriving too fast.

8. Reading an omnibus tax bill before signing it is bad luck.

9. If an entitlement program is off budget, it's free.

10. Back room deals rock!
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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4/18/2012 6:30:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Barack Obama's Top Ten Pick-Up Lines

10. Nobody can stuff a ballot box like Obama can.

9. Did you ever sleep in the Lincoln bedroom?

8. Obama wanna be your Barack-door man.

7. Obama can go down faster than the economy.

6. You want to see my latest stimulus package?

5. Once you go Barack, you'll never go back.

4. I'm so flexible that I can lie in any position.

3. Obama loves Falafels.

2. I'm just too big to fail.

1. You'll scream like Howard Dean.
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Contra
Posts: 3,941
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4/18/2012 7:37:13 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I will not comment on the other jokes.

Yeah we need a successful Republican president... like Bush. His legacy was .... oh wait.

Wasn't he the one that left the country DEMOLISHED a few months before Obama took office?
"The solution [for Republicans] is to admit that Bush was a bad president, stop this racist homophobic stuff, stop trying to give most of the tax cuts to the rich, propose a real alternative to Obamacare that actually works, and propose smart free market solutions to our economic problems." - Distraff

"Americans are better off in a dynamic, free-enterprise-based economy that fosters economic growth, opportunity and upward mobility." - Paul Ryan
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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4/18/2012 7:48:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 7:37:13 PM, Contra wrote:
I will not comment on the other jokes.

Yeah we need a successful Republican president... like Bush. His legacy was .... oh wait.

Wasn't he the one that left the country DEMOLISHED a few months before Obama took office?

The funny thing is, you'll hardly find a person on this whole site who supports Bush.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
16kadams
Posts: 10,497
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4/18/2012 7:53:55 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 12:39:01 PM, thett3 wrote:
Have you heard of the Obama McDonald's? It's great; you go buy whatever you want, and the guy behind you has to pay for it!!


Don't give me any flak for this people, it's just a joke

The joke it kinda true
https://www.youtube.com...
https://rekonomics.wordpress.com...
"A trend is a trend, but the question is, will it bend? Will it alter its course through some unforeseen force and come to a premature end?" -- Alec Cairncross
16kadams
Posts: 10,497
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4/18/2012 7:55:03 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 7:37:13 PM, Contra wrote:
I will not comment on the other jokes.

Yeah we need a successful Republican president... like Bush. His legacy was .... oh wait.

Wasn't he the one that left the country DEMOLISHED a few months before Obama took office?

The funny thing is, bush used the same economic policy obama did.
https://www.youtube.com...
https://rekonomics.wordpress.com...
"A trend is a trend, but the question is, will it bend? Will it alter its course through some unforeseen force and come to a premature end?" -- Alec Cairncross
mongeese
Posts: 5,387
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4/18/2012 8:21:20 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 7:37:13 PM, Contra wrote:
I will not comment on the other jokes.

Yeah we need a successful Republican president... like Bush. His legacy was .... oh wait.

Wasn't he the one that left the country DEMOLISHED a few months before Obama took office?

You do realize that there are Bush jokes here, too, don't you?
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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4/18/2012 8:29:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 8:21:20 PM, mongeese wrote:
At 4/18/2012 7:37:13 PM, Contra wrote:
I will not comment on the other jokes.

Yeah we need a successful Republican president... like Bush. His legacy was .... oh wait.

Wasn't he the one that left the country DEMOLISHED a few months before Obama took office?

You do realize that there are Bush jokes here, too, don't you?

Like, all the time
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.