Total Posts:11|Showing Posts:1-11
Jump to topic:

The 'ISM's and 'CRACY's

ATHOS
Posts: 123
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 7:32:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

REALIST COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

EUROPEAN UNIONISM: You have two cows. The EU develops a quota system that "limits the gas emissions from flatulent cows". You sell your carbon allotment, not the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. You are required to stay in the army until you die.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate" and a few Americans watch that on TV. Most however, watch American Idol. (sic)

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep's' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows and taxes you for the spilled milk.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.

SOCRATIC METHODISM: How many cows do I have? Why?

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like…these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

INNOVATIONISM: You have two cows. You patent "cow" and claim license fees from all the milk of the world. All your milk belongs to us.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. You let them do what they want. Now go away. What I do with my cows and what my cows choose to do is none of your business.
What can be expected from insane premises except an insane conclusion? The way to undo an insane conclusion is to consider the sanity of the premises on which it rests.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How long will contradiction stand when its impossible nature is clearly revealed?
Frederick53
Posts: 1,037
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 7:54:08 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Haha, that was funny. Also, I don't think you understand what feminism means.
In 1975, the Second Vietnam War began -1Historygenius

Like no wonder that indian dude rejected you.- Darkkermit to royalpaladin

Social Darwinism is a justification- 1Historygenius

Equal opportunity exists, so there is no problem- EvanK
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:03:56 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 7:54:08 PM, Frederick53 wrote:
Haha, that was funny. Also, I don't think you understand what feminism means.

Agreed. Neither of the cows insulted men or got short haircuts.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
DanT
Posts: 5,693
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle
socialpinko
Posts: 10,458
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:26:11 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

You must be great at parties.
: At 9/29/2014 10:55:59 AM, imabench wrote:
: : At 9/29/2014 9:43:46 AM, kbub wrote:
: :
: : DDO should discredit support of sexual violence at any time and in every way.
:
: I disagree.
DanT
Posts: 5,693
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:28:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:26:11 PM, socialpinko wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

You must be great at parties.

I don't go to parties
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle
Frederick53
Posts: 1,037
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:30:45 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

I don't think that the OP warrants an Orwellian label, even if he did make some inaccurate generalizations.
In 1975, the Second Vietnam War began -1Historygenius

Like no wonder that indian dude rejected you.- Darkkermit to royalpaladin

Social Darwinism is a justification- 1Historygenius

Equal opportunity exists, so there is no problem- EvanK
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:36:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:28:47 PM, DanT wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:26:11 PM, socialpinko wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

You must be great at parties.

I don't go to parties

Amen, brother.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:40:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:36:23 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:28:47 PM, DanT wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:26:11 PM, socialpinko wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

You must be great at parties.

I don't go to parties

Amen, brother.

Lulz.

Fvck that socialism nonsense? xD
MrBrooks
Posts: 831
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 8:51:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:40:30 PM, Ren wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:36:23 PM, MrBrooks wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:28:47 PM, DanT wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:26:11 PM, socialpinko wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

You must be great at parties.

I don't go to parties

Amen, brother.

Lulz.

Fvck that socialism nonsense? xD

I prefer splendid isolationism.
DanT
Posts: 5,693
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
7/15/2012 10:50:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/15/2012 8:30:45 PM, Frederick53 wrote:
At 7/15/2012 8:19:17 PM, DanT wrote:
I seen this before. It's not funny, and does nothing to actually educate people. It's pure prolefeed.

I don't think that the OP warrants an Orwellian label, even if he did make some inaccurate generalizations.

I call all brain rotting Movies, literature, and music prolefeed.
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle