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Alex Jones turned me Jewish

Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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12/17/2012 5:38:47 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
So there I was chilling like a proverbial villain lying out on my college's garden, when all of sudden I feel fierce chill scamper down my spine. Sensing a malevolent presence behind me I turn around expecting to do battle with a wrinkled old don or some pretentious twat who thinks studying PPE at Oxford means hes going to be the next Prime minister. To my surprise I find myself faced with a far greater threat, a threat sent by Satan himself; Alex Jones. He was of average size, but hunched over with a horrible deformation of the face, not unlike the Toyata Prius Campervan. His hideous visage caused me to recoil and look away in disgust.
The beast spoke in thick raspy Yorkshire accent;
"nyeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah"
He said.
"Is that so?"
I replied. He snorted and spat back:
"I will curse you, by order of my demonic master Obama the anti-christ."
I was slightly perturbed this, as one would expect upon receiving such a revelation.
"I say my dear chap, is that really necessary? Cant we talk this out like gentlemen?"
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllll. There is hngggrrrr. One way."
"Oh really. How marvellous"
"You must compete in a r-"
"I do hope its a rock-off. I find them delightful" I thoughtlessly interjected.
"You must perform an Irish jig. nyeeeah"

And my friends; I could not perform an Irish Jig and so he cursed me. And that explains why Im Jewish.
emospongebob527
Posts: 790
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12/17/2012 5:47:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
kfc
"not to toot my own horn (it aint need no tooin if u know what im saying), but my writings on "viciousness: the one true viture (fancy spelling for virtue)" and my poem "A poem I wrote about DDO" put me in a class of my damn own. im just an UNRECONGIZED geniuse" -bananafana
imabench
Posts: 21,204
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12/17/2012 6:13:07 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 5:55:41 PM, FREEDO wrote:


I feel like posting these. Sugar coating on the moment.

jesus no wonder why Geo is so f*cked up in the head from listening to this guy so much.
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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12/17/2012 6:15:47 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 6:13:07 PM, imabench wrote:
At 12/17/2012 5:55:41 PM, FREEDO wrote:


I feel like posting these. Sugar coating on the moment.

jesus no wonder why Geo is so f*cked up in the head from listening to this guy so much.

Yeah! And he turned me Jewish!
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/17/2012 6:36:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 6:15:47 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
Yeah! And he turned me Jewish!

Shoosh! We aren't supposed to say Jewish! Say reptilian instead.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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12/17/2012 6:39:15 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Here's Alex doing a great impression of the Royal family [starts at 1:35]:

And I don't see whats wrong with Jones trying to inject a little bit of humor in his show, he has a natural knack for comedy and impersonations. People accuse him of being a fear-monger yet he adds humor to every broadcast to laugh at the absurdity of the New World Order.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/17/2012 6:44:01 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 6:39:15 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Here's Alex doing a great impression of the Royal family [starts at 1:35]:

And I don't see whats wrong with Jones trying to inject a little bit of humor in his show, he has a natural knack for comedy and impersonations. People accuse him of being a fear-monger yet he adds humor to every broadcast to laugh at the absurdity of the New World Order.

I'm 67.32% certain that he's actually a Discordian.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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12/17/2012 7:00:54 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Alex Jones destroys "Trendies":
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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12/17/2012 7:02:23 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 7:00:54 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Alex Jones destroys "Trendies":

Corrected link.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
imabench
Posts: 21,204
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12/17/2012 7:05:28 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 7:04:40 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
BTW this actually happened. If you don't believe me I can provide pictures of my penis to prove I was turned Jewish.

can you send them to me in a pm so that I can save them?

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/17/2012 7:09:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 7:04:40 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
BTW this actually happened. If you don't believe me I can provide pictures of my penis to prove I was turned Jewish.

All Jews are homosexual. So I would have to take that as harassment.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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12/17/2012 7:16:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 7:08:30 PM, FREEDO wrote:
All that testosterone must be like an acid trip, I can imagine.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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12/17/2012 7:19:00 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 7:05:28 PM, imabench wrote:
At 12/17/2012 7:04:40 PM, Thaddeus wrote:
BTW this actually happened. If you don't believe me I can provide pictures of my penis to prove I was turned Jewish.

can you send them to me in a pm so that I can save them?

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE

Right away. I just need to position the camera from the other side of the room to make sure it is all in the shot.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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12/17/2012 8:28:09 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 6:44:01 PM, FREEDO wrote:
At 12/17/2012 6:39:15 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Here's Alex doing a great impression of the Royal family [starts at 1:35]:

And I don't see whats wrong with Jones trying to inject a little bit of humor in his show, he has a natural knack for comedy and impersonations. People accuse him of being a fear-monger yet he adds humor to every broadcast to laugh at the absurdity of the New World Order.

I'm 67.32% certain that he's actually a Discordian.

If that's true, then he's a comedic genius at like the Andy Kaufman level.
DRUG HARM: http://imgur.com...
Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/17/2012 8:58:23 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/17/2012 8:28:09 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
If that's true, then he's a comedic genius at like the Andy Kaufman level.

Discordians have an oligopoly in the entertainment industry that formed in the late 70s. They create these kind of characters all the time. I'm confident that Stephan Colbert is legit a Discordian. I made a thread on it.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord