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If Putin was a DBZ character

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9/4/2014 5:21:16 AM
Posted: 3 years ago

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In our last episode of Sovietball Z, Saiyan-Prince Putin finally took a break from doing things while shirtless and continued with his plan to enslave the universe by flying to Planet Ukrainia. Claiming that its nearby moon, Crimea, had ancient historical ties to his people and using his ultra-masculine (and definitely not homosexual) powers, Putin transformed the mass into a gigantic ball of energy and absorbed it into his body.

*** 30 seconds of homoerotic grunting sounds as Putin forces energy inside himself ***

Not before long, arch-nemesis Obama arrived on the scene, only to find that his powers of wrist-slapping and rhetorical-warning had literally no effect on Putin and his overwhelming manliness and virility. Figuring that wasting time fighting such a weak opponent was beneath him, Putin left for Planet Ukrainia and ignored Obama's subsequent calls to his scouter.

Will Obama overcome his impotency and take any real action against Putin? Or will he be continue to simply attend NATO peace summits, leave voicemail, and impose trivial sanctions? Will Putin also succeed in sucking the essence out of Planet Ukrainia? Or will the size of the planet be too much for even Putin's unbridled masculinity to handle? Finally, will Hilary Duff finally be making a comeback with her upcoming new album? Find out in this episode of... SOVIETBALL Z.

*** Title screen appears as guitar riffs ***
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