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Alcohol license

thett3
Posts: 14,344
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12/31/2014 1:23:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Today I realized how arbitrary the 21 age limit is. I propose that instead we allow people to take a test to see if they're competent in alcohol before allowing them to drink, whatever age they are.

The system would work something like this:

The prospective alcohol licensees are matched with a tester. The testers are randomly selected from a pool of likely heavy drinkers drawn from various professions known to drink a lot. Sailors and preschool teachers are two good examples. Like a jury summons, you must comply.

The teacher is to take the prospective licensee out to the most fun place in their location to go to various bars, and will rank the tester based on a few objective criteria such as if they are a funny drunk, an angry drunk, ect.

If they are a funny drunk--they pass. Period.

If they're an angry drunk they pass if they meet one of two criteria: they are annoying and too weak to do any damage and deserve the beat downs that come from being an annoying person who is also an angry drunk, OR their drunken rantings discredit the opposing party of whoever is currently in power.

If they're a sad drunk, they pass if they make the tester feel better about his/her own life.

If they're a crazy drunk, they pass so long as they keep their antics from annoying or inconveniencing people of importance (i.e. the middle class and above).

Thoughts?
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RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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12/31/2014 1:37:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/31/2014 1:23:46 PM, thett3 wrote:
Today I realized how arbitrary the 21 age limit is. I propose that instead we allow people to take a test to see if they're competent in alcohol before allowing them to drink, whatever age they are.

The system would work something like this:

The prospective alcohol licensees are matched with a tester. The testers are randomly selected from a pool of likely heavy drinkers drawn from various professions known to drink a lot. Sailors and preschool teachers are two good examples. Like a jury summons, you must comply.

The teacher is to take the prospective licensee out to the most fun place in their location to go to various bars, and will rank the tester based on a few objective criteria such as if they are a funny drunk, an angry drunk, ect.

If they are a funny drunk--they pass. Period.

If they're an angry drunk they pass if they meet one of two criteria: they are annoying and too weak to do any damage and deserve the beat downs that come from being an annoying person who is also an angry drunk, OR their drunken rantings discredit the opposing party of whoever is currently in power.

If they're a sad drunk, they pass if they make the tester feel better about his/her own life.

If they're a crazy drunk, they pass so long as they keep their antics from annoying or inconveniencing people of importance (i.e. the middle class and above).

Thoughts?

Does this mean I can drink?
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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12/31/2014 1:41:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/31/2014 1:23:46 PM, thett3 wrote:
If they're a sad drunk, they pass if they make the tester feel better about his/her own life.

I'd be drinking already.
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And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

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YYW
Posts: 36,286
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1/1/2015 8:27:47 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
That's an interesting idea... it might be really fun to have the job of deciding who gets a license...
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