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America is not a bully

Strikeeagle84015
Posts: 867
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7/3/2010 10:58:40 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I found this joke online and I thought it to be pretty true

"I'm tired of hearing about how America's a bully. America is not a bully. Bullies beat you up and take your money, and that is not what America does. America gives you money -- and then we beat you up. We're the mob. We just kinda wait for the check to clear, then we show up going, 'Hey, you got a real nice f**king country here. Be a shame if something happened to it.'"

What do you guys think of it?
: At 8/17/2010 7:17:56 AM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
: Hey dawg, i herd you like evangelical trolls so we put a bible thumper in yo bible thumper so you can troll while you troll!

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PoeJoe
Posts: 3,822
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7/3/2010 11:09:34 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Haha. Here's one I found a couple days ago.

"Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, 'What is politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny- well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand what politics is now.'

'Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are.'

The little boy replies, 'Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh1t.'"
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I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
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7/4/2010 8:35:53 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Another Lil' Johnny Joke:

"Lil' Johnny asked his father for help with a homework assignment, "Dad, what's the difference between potential and reality?" His father thought a moment, then said, "How about a demonstration? Ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you've learned." Lil' Johnny was puzzled, but did as he was told. "Mom, would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" She looked around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face said, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would." Johnny then went to his sister's room. "Sis, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" His sister did not hesitate. "Omigod! Definitely!" Lil' Johnny returned to his father. "Okay, Dad, I've got it. Potentially, we are sitting on two million dollars. But in reality, we are living with a couple of sluts."
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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7/4/2010 8:48:53 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Little Johnny is sitting, being his cool self in the local park. Along comes Suzi chomping on her piece of gum.
"Hey Johnny, wanna play doctor?"
Johnny lets out a puff of smoke, "Nah, that's too old fashioned."
Johnny takes another drag, "Spit out your gum, I wanna play President."
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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7/5/2010 11:10:57 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 7/3/2010 11:09:34 AM, PoeJoe wrote:
Haha. Here's one I found a couple days ago.

"Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, 'What is politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny- well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand what politics is now.'

'Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are.'

The little boy replies, 'Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh1t.'"

Haha. I once posted that for my friend on her facebook profile and she actually got pissed off.