Total Posts:44|Showing Posts:1-30|Last Page
Jump to topic:

Why Do Girls Dig Jerks?

ToddsAmerica
Posts: 28
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 12:58:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Scientifically, males that are dumb, criminal a**holes have a much easier time "getting laid" than males who are intelligent, well-behaved nice guys. I have some theories, but I'm curious

Here's some scientific evidence on this by the way:

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu...
Logical-Master
Posts: 2,538
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.
Logical-Master
Posts: 2,538
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:04:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys often come off as weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.

*edited
ToddsAmerica
Posts: 28
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.

This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.
Logical-Master
Posts: 2,538
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.
ToddsAmerica
Posts: 28
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:27:06 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

Ya. That's what I'm thinking as well.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,100
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:46:26 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
What a thread for the politics forum.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
Emilrose
Posts: 2,479
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 10:10:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

A strong mate doesn't necessarily equal a 'jerk' mate. Most of the time it's the other way round.
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

Commentator on Hillary Clinton: 'If Clinton is now what passes for progressive, maybe this country deserves Trump.'

Commentator on British parliament: 'All that talent in one place, where is Ebola when you need it?'

John Kerry on words: 'These aren't just words, folks.'
Emilrose
Posts: 2,479
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 10:16:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Uh, I don't.

It's strange how people associate jerkiness to actual male strength O.o
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

Commentator on Hillary Clinton: 'If Clinton is now what passes for progressive, maybe this country deserves Trump.'

Commentator on British parliament: 'All that talent in one place, where is Ebola when you need it?'

John Kerry on words: 'These aren't just words, folks.'
FourTrouble
Posts: 12,757
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:00:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 12:58:13 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
Scientifically, males that are dumb, criminal a**holes have a much easier time "getting laid" than males who are intelligent, well-behaved nice guys. I have some theories, but I'm curious

This is untrue. Intelligent, uncriminal, decent humans perform much better in the sexual marketplace. You literally have no idea what you're talking about.

Here's some scientific evidence on this by the way:

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu...

This article doesn't come even close to saying what you're saying. And even if it does, it's a sh!tty study.
JMcKinley
Posts: 314
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:02:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Perhaps its because at a very young age we start telling girls that the boys are mean to them because they like them. I can't stand it when people say that to young girls. What a terrible mentality to reinforce.

My wife said it to our niece the other day and I had to step in and say no, he's mean because he's a jerk and not worth your time. Not because he likes you. If he likes you he'll treat you nicely.

Honestly its one my biggest pet peeves.
FourTrouble
Posts: 12,757
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:02:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

I strongly disagree with this, too. Traditional gender stereotypes is why women prefer *masculine* men. Even then, I question that proposition. The most successful men I know are sensitive feminine types -- and the least successful are those embodying traditional male traits like not caring about emotion or grooming or dressing well and so on.
FourTrouble
Posts: 12,757
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:16:05 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:02:12 PM, JMcKinley wrote:
Perhaps its because at a very young age we start telling girls that the boys are mean to them because they like them. I can't stand it when people say that to young girls. What a terrible mentality to reinforce.

My wife said it to our niece the other day and I had to step in and say no, he's mean because he's a jerk and not worth your time. Not because he likes you. If he likes you he'll treat you nicely.

Honestly its one my biggest pet peeves.

This is an interesting and astute observation. I never thought about that before, and it's absolutely part of how current structures of gender oppression are propagated. Personally, I always hated that when I was trying to actively communicate dislike for a girl, it was immediately interpreted as 'like' instead. But I never complied with traditional gender roles/stereotypes; I could imagine lots of men/women who benefit from this particular discourse.
Illegalcombatant
Posts: 4,008
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:17:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 12:58:13 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
Scientifically, males that are dumb, criminal a**holes have a much easier time "getting laid" than males who are intelligent, well-behaved nice guys. I have some theories, but I'm curious

Here's some scientific evidence on this by the way:

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu...

Attractive young women have men being "nice" to them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your not going to really go anywhere on the sole basis of being nice.

After all they can have nice AND...........rich, handsome, connected, has a horse penis, etc etc.
"Seems like another attempt to insert God into areas our knowledge has yet to penetrate. You figure God would be bigger than the gaps of our ignorance." Drafterman 19/5/12
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:22:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
It's true. Girls go after alpha males. Alpha males generally are actually nice guys, but those pretending to be alphas are often jerks and girls fall for it. With that being said. Most nice guys are not alphas, and when choosing between a beta and a beta that pretends to be alpha, the pretend alpha always wins. Another thing to note is that girls are more likely to marry betas, but cheat on them with alphas, many times even getting pregnant and having the beta help raise the alpha's child, not realizing the whole time it isn't his offspring.

Before I go into the why, let me just explain that, this isn't an intelligence issue. People think they act rationally, I'm sure women actually think they choose men using rational judgement, but it's actually an emotional choice. If it wasn't an emotional choice than clearly the nerds would be pulling pvssy left and right, but the nerds get ignored because they aren't alpha.

There are two traits people subconsciously poses to attract a mate, survival and replication. Men typically value replication over survival, and it's why they go after the young ones and place a higher value on appearance. A young woman with large breasts, typically is going to come across as more fertile. Men likely, subconsciously prefer women with bigger hips as well. So men may have their values at say 80% replication 20%survival and as they mature they adjust the values, but it's all done subconsciously.

Women on the other hand value survival over replication, so they look for alphas. Men who possess a lot of money, help aid in survival. Women aren't getting wet because Christian Grey is good looking, it's because he's a billionaire. Other factors that could show somebody as a good protector is how aggressive they are. A more aggressive mate is more willing to physically defend them, and given that jerks are typically extremely aggressive, it indicates alpha male status. Being the loudest most flamboyant guy in the room, indicates you're afraid of nobody. So women subconsciously link this jerk behavior to the ability to protect them. In modern times, obviously the toughest guys don't have to flaunt how tough they can be, but due to a biological defect a lot of women don't realize this.

So this is all emotional and subconscious decisions. If you're a nerd and realize how survival and replication works and how to show signs of these traits, you'll likely get plenty of pvssy. (I do), but it involves actually taking the time to learn these things. If you actually take the time to turn yourself into an alpha, you can skip the learning process and just act natural, but you hopefully nice guys do take the chance to learn these things, so less women end up with jerks.
FourTrouble
Posts: 12,757
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:26:37 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
In part, the confusion turns on what you mean by nice. If you mean guys who change who they are to please a woman, that's not nice -- that's desperate, pathetic, and pitiful. Nobody should be attracted to such people. But actually nice guys, good guys, who hold onto their identity and are just nice because that's who they are, not because they're trying to impress a girl -- those guys do better than as$holes everytime. Just read any romance novel -- they're all the same story of the sensitive emotional nice intelligent guy who is also his own person and doesn't change who he is for anyone. That's what girls actually want and are atracted to in my experience.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:29:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:02:40 PM, FourTrouble wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

I strongly disagree with this, too. Traditional gender stereotypes is why women prefer *masculine* men. Even then, I question that proposition. The most successful men I know are sensitive feminine types -- and the least successful are those embodying traditional male traits like not caring about emotion or grooming or dressing well and so on.

It's an offshoot of the cave man days. Some processes haven't been completely evolved out. Being super aggressive used to be a symbol of strength, so it's more of a subconscious recognition of that. It's not women actually making rational decisions. Very few people, women or men can be rational when choosing a mate, though I'm sure most people think they are. However being broke as fvck and a jerk helps nobody, but if a woman has the choice between a rich guy who is nice and one that is a jerk, typically they'll go for the jerk, unless the nice one is clearly an alpha, he stands no chance. Although rich and nice beats a middle class jerk or lower any day. I'm hmjust saying that it isn't the most important factor when choosing a mate, but it's an important factor.
FourTrouble
Posts: 12,757
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:30:10 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I dont believe in a distinction between alpha and beta. That's such a reductive way of looking at how female attraction actually work (which honestly nobody really understands but it surely isn't as simple as that).
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:32:59 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 10:16:36 AM, Emilrose wrote:
Uh, I don't.

It's strange how people associate jerkiness to actual male strength O.o

Jerks usually have an artificial type alpha presence, and between them and nice guys who are betas, they win.

Tell me, do you like a guy that is assertive, strong and sure of himself or do you prefer the opposite?

Though a true alpha male can possess those traits without being a jerk, a jerk trying to replicate alpha behavior can still replicate that better than the Beta males can, so I'd assume some jerk has a better chance getting into your pants than the sniveling need to afraid to approach you and scared of everything around him.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:35:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 11:12:20 AM, stargate wrote:
Sometimes jerks are just a bunch of big wimps. It all depends on the person, at least that is what I think.

Typically that's actually what they are. The overt actions are a compensation for the weakness they sense in themselves, but since most people have the same weaknesses, women fall for it.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:37:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:26:37 PM, FourTrouble wrote:
In part, the confusion turns on what you mean by nice. If you mean guys who change who they are to please a woman, that's not nice -- that's desperate, pathetic, and pitiful. Nobody should be attracted to such people. But actually nice guys, good guys, who hold onto their identity and are just nice because that's who they are, not because they're trying to impress a girl -- those guys do better than as$holes everytime. Just read any romance novel -- they're all the same story of the sensitive emotional nice intelligent guy who is also his own person and doesn't change who he is for anyone. That's what girls actually want and are atracted to in my experience.

That's true, it's basically the definition of alpha. Those guys do best, but if you're too weak to be one of those guys, being a jerk is better than being what you described, at least in terms of actually being able to pull women.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 1:39:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:30:10 PM, FourTrouble wrote:
I dont believe in a distinction between alpha and beta. That's such a reductive way of looking at how female attraction actually work (which honestly nobody really understands but it surely isn't as simple as that).

True that. It's just a model to help understand something. It's certainly not meant to be a true statement, but a simple model to understand something extremely complicated.
Logical-Master
Posts: 2,538
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 3:45:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 10:10:02 AM, Emilrose wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

A strong mate doesn't necessarily equal a 'jerk' mate. Most of the time it's the other way round.

Not saying being a jerk makes you strong. I'm saying they often appear strong. Obviously, many aren't, hence all the domestic violence and need for child support payments.
Logical-Master
Posts: 2,538
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 4:08:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 1:02:40 PM, FourTrouble wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:10:31 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:05:16 AM, ToddsAmerica wrote:
At 8/13/2015 1:02:42 AM, Logical-Master wrote:
Easy. Jerks often come off as strong, assertive and independent. (mentally and/or physically). Nice guys are often weak (too submissive, doormats if you will). Get rid of the submissiveness and be more assertive and more girls will dig you, nice guy or not.


This is true. I should clarify that I'm not asking this question out of personal experience or for personal advice. I'm looking at it more from a position of social observation and curiosity.

Ah. From an evolutionary standpoint, it's the female's desire to find a strong mate. A strong mate is better able to protect the female and her offspring.

I strongly disagree with this, too. Traditional gender stereotypes is why women prefer *masculine* men. Even then, I question that proposition. The most successful men I know are sensitive feminine types -- and the least successful are those embodying traditional male traits like not caring about emotion or grooming or dressing well and so on.

The concept of gender stereotypes has only been in existence for a relatively small amount of human history. There was an age where they weren't simply stereotypes, but a full blown way of life. Hell, many other species still adhere to them. Human males generally come equipped with superior bone density, muscle mass and testosterone for this very reason.

Now is it not as relevant today? Sure. We've reached a cultural/technological stage where biological differences aren't anywhere near as relevant in your ability to get ahead as well as be independent. However, the OP is asking why so many girls are into jerks. Our biological history provides ample data on the issue. Regardless of how far we've advanced as a society, we still have many tendencies and behaviors that are greatly influenced by our genetic makeup.
XLAV
Posts: 13,710
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 4:17:01 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I kind of wonder, does this 'girl digging jerks' still a thing when a they reach their 20s or 30s? I'm not sure if they still continue their ways once they reach their 20s-30s.

I mostly observe these types of girls who dig jerks in high school and college and I agree with Wylted with the alpha, beta thing.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 4:41:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/13/2015 4:17:01 PM, XLAV wrote:
I kind of wonder, does this 'girl digging jerks' still a thing when a they reach their 20s or 30s? I'm not sure if they still continue their ways once they reach their 20s-30s.

I mostly observe these types of girls who dig jerks in high school and college and I agree with Wylted with the alpha, beta thing.

As they mature, they start making more rational decisions. They start to recognize true Alphas and like them more than jerks, if they're cheating on their husbands, they'll likely prefer boy toys over alphas though, that way they can maintain control of the relationship.
Garbanza
Posts: 1,997
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
8/13/2015 8:24:45 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I'm baffled why men ever ask this question because it seems pretty obvious that men would rather fvck a hot, messed-up b1tch than an ugly nice girl, and it's the same for women. Some men are just unattractive, and being really nice is good for other reasons but it's not going to change that.

Confident is sexy, but I think that's mostly the wrong way round. Having a lot of success with women makes men feel confident, and it makes them jerks because they don't need to cling on to relationships.