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Political Jokes!

Reformist
Posts: 679
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2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!
DDO History Revival Officer
Fuher of the Reich

"I'm not Asian"-Vaarka

"I would rather have a fascist than a socialist in office"- Bball

To be a feminist or to be smart that is the question
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 3:26:01 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!

How many feminist does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, they can't change anything!
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
Reformist
Posts: 679
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2/5/2016 3:32:35 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Lol that was a good one
DDO History Revival Officer
Fuher of the Reich

"I'm not Asian"-Vaarka

"I would rather have a fascist than a socialist in office"- Bball

To be a feminist or to be smart that is the question
walker_harris3
Posts: 273
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2/5/2016 3:35:07 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!

How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? 5! Al Gore to insure it"s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/5/2016 3:56:31 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
Whats the difference between a large pizza at Dominoes and a Democrat?

The Pizza has been known to feed a family of 4
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/5/2016 3:58:31 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
How do you get a democrat to stop numping on the bed?

You lick his lips so he sticks to the ceiling.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/5/2016 4:06:54 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of a road and a Democrat?

The dog has skid marks in front of it
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 7:53:24 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 3:56:31 AM, Wylted wrote:
Whats the difference between a large pizza at Dominoes and a Democrat?


The Pizza has been known to feed a family of 4

OMG THAT'S SO TRUE.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 7:53:32 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 3:35:07 AM, walker_harris3 wrote:
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!

How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb? 5! Al Gore to insure it"s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

+1
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 7:54:32 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 4:49:53 AM, stealspell wrote:
Here's a joke: the Republican party.

That wasn't even funny. You are just salty that Wylted savagely roasted Democrats in this thread.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 7:54:58 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
Why do people vote Democrat?

Because they're retarded.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,251
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2/5/2016 7:55:49 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the invisible hand will take care of it. What are you a socialist?
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/5/2016 8:03:34 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 7:55:49 PM, dylancatlow wrote:
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the invisible hand will take care of it. What are you a socialist?

This is a place for jokes, not obvious facts.
NewLifeChristian
Posts: 1,236
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2/5/2016 9:21:46 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!
Q:How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 5! Al Gore to insure it"s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.
Pro-Life Quotes:

"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
- Ronald Reagan

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government."
- Thomas Jefferson

"A person is a person no matter how small."
- Dr. Seuss
bballcrook21
Posts: 4,468
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2/5/2016 9:27:52 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 9:21:46 PM, NewLifeChristian wrote:
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!
Q:How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 5! Al Gore to insure it"s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

Someone already used this but it's still funny.
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand. - Friedman

Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself. -Friedman

Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program. - Friedman

Society will never be free until the last Democrat is strangled with the entrails of the last Communist.
NewLifeChristian
Posts: 1,236
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2/5/2016 9:28:22 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 9:27:52 PM, bballcrook21 wrote:
At 2/5/2016 9:21:46 PM, NewLifeChristian wrote:
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know

Here I will start:

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None!

They'd all rather sit in the dark and blame it on Obama!
Q:How many democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 5! Al Gore to insure it"s a CFL, an EPA agent in case the bulb breaks and a mercury cleanup is necessary, a person to bail out the home owner, an ACORN member to ensure that the right person changed the bulb, and a member of the media to celebrate the change.

Someone already used this but it's still funny.
Dang it.
Pro-Life Quotes:

"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
- Ronald Reagan

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government."
- Thomas Jefferson

"A person is a person no matter how small."
- Dr. Seuss
NewLifeChristian
Posts: 1,236
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2/5/2016 9:28:44 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
I didn't see it.
Pro-Life Quotes:

"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
- Ronald Reagan

"The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government."
- Thomas Jefferson

"A person is a person no matter how small."
- Dr. Seuss
fumblecheeze
Posts: 1
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2/5/2016 10:09:34 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
- Have you heard about McDonald"s new Obama Value Meal?
- Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it!

(http://www.laughfactory.com...)
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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2/5/2016 10:21:45 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know


G.W. Bush
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,305
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2/5/2016 10:36:25 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 10:21:45 PM, TBR wrote:
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know


G.W. Bush

Bush is sad, not funny.
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,305
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2/5/2016 10:37:30 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/5/2016 10:21:45 PM, TBR wrote:
At 2/5/2016 2:55:06 AM, Reformist wrote:
I want to hear all the jokes you guys know


G.W. Bush

That's like, whanna hear a joke?

A teen slashes her wrists.