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Presidential Candidates sorted into Houses

imabench
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2/12/2016 4:16:09 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
If presidential candidates were in Hogwarts which house would they be sorted into yatta yatta yatta im bored so I thought this would be entertaining feel free to agree or disagree here we go

Jeb Bush - Hufflepuff

Not particularly smart or whimsical, but also not evil, Jeb tries to have a squeaky clean image and stand up to bullies, although has a terrible time doing so. He is hard to really like and be excited about, since he the human equivalent of vanilla pudding. A watered down version of Mitt Romney (also a Hufflepuff) except with an even more prestigious family history best describes who Jeb is.

John Kasich - Hufflepuff

Kasich is like Jeb except less famous and far fewer resources at his disposal, but is like Jeb in that he tries to avoid scandal and also isnt really evil. Hard to get excited about and is as tasteful as water (which has no taste), Kasich is only the best option when one has run out of all other available options.

Marco Rubio - Gryffindor

Marco is like Bush except more brash and actually has some testicles. There is a fire in Rubio's speeches whereas Bush speaks as if he is giving a lecture. Marco can show leadership where others cannot, though Marco has his flaws because he is still relatively young. Still, he relies more on courage and leadership rather than wit or trickery, making him too brash to be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw

Chris Christie - Gryffindor

A guy most willing to let his fists do the talking when given the chance, Christie would almost wind up in Slytherin if he let his temper fly more frequently. He can be seen as a bully by some and bold by others, so he blurs the line between both houses. He has more in common with Cruz though than with our next candidate, who personifies Slytherin in every way

Ted Cruz - Slytherin

The ultimate snake who resorts and depends on trickery and deception to get what he wants, Cruz is the personification of the word 'slimy'. A toxic person who everybody despises, Cruz in any other contest would have been the most hated candidate in the race, had it not been for one other person....

Donald Trump - Slytherin

Though brash and brave to a degree, Trump sets himself far apart from Gryffindors in that he seeks out scandals to shine the spotlight on himself, willingly painting himself as the enemy as part of the overall ploy, which only a Slytherin would do. Egotistical, arrogant, crude... He is the personification of what a Slytherin is, only Cruz topping him in actual evilness

Ben Carson - Ravenclaw

Perhaps the only candidate who relies solely on wit for his campaign, Carson only shows flashes of charisma and courage when he opens his mouth, but prefers to lecture rather than rally and excite. Unlike Hufflepuffs though, a Ravenclaw is not eager to confront bullies like Cruz or Trump, instead preferring to agree to disagree.

Hillary Clinton - Hufflepuff

The female and democratic version of Jeb Bush. What else needs to be said?

Bernie Sanders - Gryffindor

Not a Slytherin nor a Hufflepuff, and can excite people to fever pitch unlike a Ravenclaw. Gryffindor
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

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xus00HAY
Posts: 1,380
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2/13/2016 5:30:59 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Are you as pretty in real life as you are in your avatar picture Imabench?
Not everybody read Harry Potter, this metaphor makes no sense
bsh1
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2/13/2016 6:09:11 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Lol. Well done.
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YYW
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2/13/2016 6:20:06 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/12/2016 4:16:09 AM, imabench wrote:
If presidential candidates were in Hogwarts which house would they be sorted into yatta yatta yatta im bored so I thought this would be entertaining feel free to agree or disagree here we go

Jeb Bush - Hufflepuff

Not particularly smart or whimsical, but also not evil, Jeb tries to have a squeaky clean image and stand up to bullies, although has a terrible time doing so. He is hard to really like and be excited about, since he the human equivalent of vanilla pudding. A watered down version of Mitt Romney (also a Hufflepuff) except with an even more prestigious family history best describes who Jeb is.

Ehh... I think the sorting hat would have trouble with him.

John Kasich - Hufflepuff

Kasich is like Jeb except less famous and far fewer resources at his disposal, but is like Jeb in that he tries to avoid scandal and also isnt really evil. Hard to get excited about and is as tasteful as water (which has no taste), Kasich is only the best option when one has run out of all other available options.

I agree.

Marco Rubio - Gryffindor

Marco is like Bush except more brash and actually has some testicles. There is a fire in Rubio's speeches whereas Bush speaks as if he is giving a lecture. Marco can show leadership where others cannot, though Marco has his flaws because he is still relatively young. Still, he relies more on courage and leadership rather than wit or trickery, making him too brash to be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw

Rubio is too much of a whore to be a Gryffindor; he in reality isn't even bright enough to be admitted to Hogwarts.

Chris Christie - Gryffindor

A guy most willing to let his fists do the talking when given the chance, Christie would almost wind up in Slytherin if he let his temper fly more frequently. He can be seen as a bully by some and bold by others, so he blurs the line between both houses. He has more in common with Cruz though than with our next candidate, who personifies Slytherin in every way

Yes, yes.

Ted Cruz - Slytherin

The ultimate snake who resorts and depends on trickery and deception to get what he wants, Cruz is the personification of the word 'slimy'. A toxic person who everybody despises, Cruz in any other contest would have been the most hated candidate in the race, had it not been for one other person....

Donald Trump - Slytherin

Though brash and brave to a degree, Trump sets himself far apart from Gryffindors in that he seeks out scandals to shine the spotlight on himself, willingly painting himself as the enemy as part of the overall ploy, which only a Slytherin would do. Egotistical, arrogant, crude... He is the personification of what a Slytherin is, only Cruz topping him in actual evilness

Wrong. Trump is a Gryffindor.

Ben Carson - Ravenclaw

Perhaps the only candidate who relies solely on wit for his campaign, Carson only shows flashes of charisma and courage when he opens his mouth, but prefers to lecture rather than rally and excite. Unlike Hufflepuffs though, a Ravenclaw is not eager to confront bullies like Cruz or Trump, instead preferring to agree to disagree.

He's more like Hufflepuff.

Hillary Clinton - Hufflepuff

The female and democratic version of Jeb Bush. What else needs to be said?

I'd put her in Ravenclaw too.

Bernie Sanders - Gryffindor

Not a Slytherin nor a Hufflepuff, and can excite people to fever pitch unlike a Ravenclaw. Gryffindor

I would put him in Ravenclaw.
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Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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2/13/2016 6:27:08 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
I don't know why but I like the fact that Cruz is evil. I thought his flyers and the shole stealing votes from Carson thing was great. Tgis is starting to resemble what a DDO election looks like.
PetersSmith
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2/13/2016 6:36:12 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/12/2016 4:16:09 AM, imabench wrote:
If presidential candidates were in Hogwarts which house would they be sorted into yatta yatta yatta im bored so I thought this would be entertaining feel free to agree or disagree here we go

Jeb Bush - Hufflepuff

Not particularly smart or whimsical, but also not evil, Jeb tries to have a squeaky clean image and stand up to bullies, although has a terrible time doing so. He is hard to really like and be excited about, since he the human equivalent of vanilla pudding. A watered down version of Mitt Romney (also a Hufflepuff) except with an even more prestigious family history best describes who Jeb is.

John Kasich - Hufflepuff

Kasich is like Jeb except less famous and far fewer resources at his disposal, but is like Jeb in that he tries to avoid scandal and also isnt really evil. Hard to get excited about and is as tasteful as water (which has no taste), Kasich is only the best option when one has run out of all other available options.

Marco Rubio - Gryffindor

Marco is like Bush except more brash and actually has some testicles. There is a fire in Rubio's speeches whereas Bush speaks as if he is giving a lecture. Marco can show leadership where others cannot, though Marco has his flaws because he is still relatively young. Still, he relies more on courage and leadership rather than wit or trickery, making him too brash to be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw

Chris Christie - Gryffindor

A guy most willing to let his fists do the talking when given the chance, Christie would almost wind up in Slytherin if he let his temper fly more frequently. He can be seen as a bully by some and bold by others, so he blurs the line between both houses. He has more in common with Cruz though than with our next candidate, who personifies Slytherin in every way

Ted Cruz - Slytherin

The ultimate snake who resorts and depends on trickery and deception to get what he wants, Cruz is the personification of the word 'slimy'. A toxic person who everybody despises, Cruz in any other contest would have been the most hated candidate in the race, had it not been for one other person....

Donald Trump - Slytherin

Though brash and brave to a degree, Trump sets himself far apart from Gryffindors in that he seeks out scandals to shine the spotlight on himself, willingly painting himself as the enemy as part of the overall ploy, which only a Slytherin would do. Egotistical, arrogant, crude... He is the personification of what a Slytherin is, only Cruz topping him in actual evilness

Ben Carson - Ravenclaw

Perhaps the only candidate who relies solely on wit for his campaign, Carson only shows flashes of charisma and courage when he opens his mouth, but prefers to lecture rather than rally and excite. Unlike Hufflepuffs though, a Ravenclaw is not eager to confront bullies like Cruz or Trump, instead preferring to agree to disagree.

Hillary Clinton - Hufflepuff

The female and democratic version of Jeb Bush. What else needs to be said?

Bernie Sanders - Gryffindor

Not a Slytherin nor a Hufflepuff, and can excite people to fever pitch unlike a Ravenclaw. Gryffindor

Trump would make his own House.
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tejretics
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2/13/2016 6:51:58 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Trump is the stereotypical extremist Gryffindor.

"Their daring [and] nerve ... set Gryffindors apart."

(note the omitted word :p)
"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." - Frederick Douglass
imabench
Posts: 21,210
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2/13/2016 9:46:34 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
JK Rowling herself said that Trump is worse than Voldemort, I think that qualifies him as a Slytherin :P
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

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famousdebater
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2/13/2016 10:25:43 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/13/2016 9:46:34 AM, imabench wrote:
JK Rowling herself said that Trump is worse than Voldemort, I think that qualifies him as a Slytherin :P

lol, did she really?
"Life calls the tune, we dance."
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Greyparrot
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2/13/2016 12:19:05 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/13/2016 9:46:34 AM, imabench wrote:
JK Rowling herself said that Trump is worse than Voldemort, I think that qualifies him as a Slytherin :P

Rowling is an socialist elitist.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk...
tajshar2k
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2/13/2016 2:14:18 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/13/2016 6:20:06 AM, YYW wrote:
At 2/12/2016 4:16:09 AM, imabench wrote:
If presidential candidates were in Hogwarts which house would they be sorted into yatta yatta yatta im bored so I thought this would be entertaining feel free to agree or disagree here we go

Jeb Bush - Hufflepuff

Not particularly smart or whimsical, but also not evil, Jeb tries to have a squeaky clean image and stand up to bullies, although has a terrible time doing so. He is hard to really like and be excited about, since he the human equivalent of vanilla pudding. A watered down version of Mitt Romney (also a Hufflepuff) except with an even more prestigious family history best describes who Jeb is.

Ehh... I think the sorting hat would have trouble with him.

John Kasich - Hufflepuff

Kasich is like Jeb except less famous and far fewer resources at his disposal, but is like Jeb in that he tries to avoid scandal and also isnt really evil. Hard to get excited about and is as tasteful as water (which has no taste), Kasich is only the best option when one has run out of all other available options.

I agree.

Marco Rubio - Gryffindor

Marco is like Bush except more brash and actually has some testicles. There is a fire in Rubio's speeches whereas Bush speaks as if he is giving a lecture. Marco can show leadership where others cannot, though Marco has his flaws because he is still relatively young. Still, he relies more on courage and leadership rather than wit or trickery, making him too brash to be a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw

Rubio is too much of a whore to be a Gryffindor; he in reality isn't even bright enough to be admitted to Hogwarts.

I agree, he can hang around with uncle Vernon and company.

Chris Christie - Gryffindor

A guy most willing to let his fists do the talking when given the chance, Christie would almost wind up in Slytherin if he let his temper fly more frequently. He can be seen as a bully by some and bold by others, so he blurs the line between both houses. He has more in common with Cruz though than with our next candidate, who personifies Slytherin in every way

Yes, yes.

Ted Cruz - Slytherin

The ultimate snake who resorts and depends on trickery and deception to get what he wants, Cruz is the personification of the word 'slimy'. A toxic person who everybody despises, Cruz in any other contest would have been the most hated candidate in the race, had it not been for one other person....

Donald Trump - Slytherin

Though brash and brave to a degree, Trump sets himself far apart from Gryffindors in that he seeks out scandals to shine the spotlight on himself, willingly painting himself as the enemy as part of the overall ploy, which only a Slytherin would do. Egotistical, arrogant, crude... He is the personification of what a Slytherin is, only Cruz topping him in actual evilness

Wrong. Trump is a Gryffindor.

Ben Carson - Ravenclaw

Perhaps the only candidate who relies solely on wit for his campaign, Carson only shows flashes of charisma and courage when he opens his mouth, but prefers to lecture rather than rally and excite. Unlike Hufflepuffs though, a Ravenclaw is not eager to confront bullies like Cruz or Trump, instead preferring to agree to disagree.

He's more like Hufflepuff.

Hillary Clinton - Hufflepuff

The female and democratic version of Jeb Bush. What else needs to be said?

I'd put her in Ravenclaw too.

Bernie Sanders - Gryffindor

Not a Slytherin nor a Hufflepuff, and can excite people to fever pitch unlike a Ravenclaw. Gryffindor

I would put him in Ravenclaw.
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