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Good third party candidate

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10/8/2016 6:20:54 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
"Brontoraptor for President"

My fellow Americans-
The Bronto-Plan

1)I like women.

2) i do what I want with emails and you can't stop me

3)I'm anti middle class.

4)I said something x rated about a female one time.

5)I did have "sexual relations with that young woman".

6)I want to use nukes.

7)I will invite Muslims and Russians into the U.S. and in droves to let them destroy you and each other.

8)I will welcome aliens from the Andramada Galaxy to attack us with their weapons in the name of multiculturism.

9)I'm deplorable a basket.

10)I'm going to eat all the cookies. Believe me.

11)I do not pay taxes.

12)my nickname is "little lying crooked bronto".

13)I'm not a Muslim or a Communist. Take my word for it.

14)I don't believe Islamic terrorists are anything but pee wee league.

15)I am offering free college but don't know who will pay for it.

16)I will offer spam stamps but only if you kiss my butt. Spam stamps come on a card and are good for purchasing meat in a can.

17)I will have bikini girls and chip n dales dance for you during my press conferences.

18)Dance for me? Hell. I'll dance for YOU.

19)We will have 2 hour work days until we finally get all the alien slaves moved in. Hey, they tried to attack US.

20)I will ally with China and we will all be ninjas. Prove me wrong.

So...elect me for President. You'll obviously elect anything, so...what do you have to lose?

(Bronto gives narcissistic sociopathic grin with eye twinkle and begins laughing uncontrollably from his Parkinson's)
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."