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Queries on Cosmic Alfonzoism

CosmicAlfonzo
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2/12/2011 7:33:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Ask me any of your deep spiritual questions, and I will do my best to pull an answer from the Coscmicomicon.

As I am a translator of the Cosmicomicon(The holy book of Cosmic Alfonzoism, the one and only truest god most high and deity that my username is named after). It is my sworn duty to help guide people to it's gloriously golden and also quite sexy pages.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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2/13/2011 7:01:23 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/12/2011 7:33:03 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
Ask me any of your deep spiritual questions, and I will do my best to pull an answer from the Coscmicomicon.

As I am a translator of the Cosmicomicon(The holy book of Cosmic Alfonzoism, the one and only truest god most high and deity that my username is named after). It is my sworn duty to help guide people to it's gloriously golden and also quite sexy pages.

Where Brooklyn at ?
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/13/2011 2:08:07 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 7:01:23 AM, vardas0antras wrote:
Where Brooklyn at ?

Brooklyn is temporary human construct. While human constructs come and go relative to time, the wisdom of the Cosmicomicon is eternal, even relative to time.

The concept of Brooklyn lies in the realm of subjectivity, and not the realm of objectivity. It exists, but only as a subjectively observable illusion. Its human relative significance can be compared to the distance between ink molecules in the letter "T" printed on a pamphlet in the first instance of the word "The".

It is a largely irrelevant detail in the great and eternal Cosmicomicon.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
badger
Posts: 11,793
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2/13/2011 2:12:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 2:11:52 PM, badger wrote:
do you think you'd make a fairly decent sex doll out of a monkey with a bit of plastic surgery and a shave?

it'd be fairly costly i suppose?
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eball45
Posts: 125
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2/13/2011 2:15:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Brooklyn isn't a human construct for the geographic region would still exist independant of humans. It's objectively there. Quit reading so much Michael Hawkins. He's a fraud. You must be one of those ambiguous pantheists.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/13/2011 2:17:44 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The Cosmicomicon decrees that the placing of reproductive organs into any orifice is permissible, provided you have access to said orifice.

The consequences of said interaction are subject to many variables that can not be accounted for.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
badger
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2/13/2011 2:19:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 2:17:44 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
The Cosmicomicon decrees that the placing of reproductive organs into any orifice is permissible, provided you have access to said orifice.

The consequences of said interaction are subject to many variables that can not be accounted for.

i didn't understand any of that.. i'll just stick to being an athiest ;)
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CosmicAlfonzo
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2/13/2011 2:31:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 2:15:54 PM, eball45 wrote:
Brooklyn isn't a human construct for the geographic region would still exist independant of humans. It's objectively there. Quit reading so much Michael Hawkins. He's a fraud. You must be one of those ambiguous pantheists.

I have never heard of Michael Hawkins.

The concept of Brooklyn is a human construct. The location of the human construct of Brooklyn is wherever the human construct of Brooklyn is located.

Brooklyn is not in any one place. Its location can only be described in relative terms.

Ask the right questions, and the answers you receive might make more sense.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
eball45
Posts: 125
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2/13/2011 3:10:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Yes, Brooklyn is in one place. It would remain where it's at independent of any relative point of view. So would the moon. So would the sun. So would the TV sitting on the wall. Just because we can observe it doesn't make it there. If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, it still falls. This holy deity of yours would be the witness. It's silly and extremely ambiguous to say that brooklyn isn't there without an observer. Simply, an object must exist to be observed. We don't create the object by staring at it.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/13/2011 3:43:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 3:10:20 PM, eball45 wrote:
Yes, Brooklyn is in one place. It would remain where it's at independent of any relative point of view. So would the moon. So would the sun. So would the TV sitting on the wall. Just because we can observe it doesn't make it there. If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, it still falls. This holy deity of yours would be the witness. It's silly and extremely ambiguous to say that brooklyn isn't there without an observer. Simply, an object must exist to be observed. We don't create the object by staring at it.

You have no idea what I'm talking about.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/13/2011 3:57:24 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
You have an understanding that is trapped in the interpretation of symbols, rather than the interpreting of God itself.

My words will appear as nonsense until you are able to grasp what it is I am saying. When you understand, you will see them as self evident truths.

It is the same to a person trapped in the world of symbols to say, "The green ball is green.". It would be the same to a person trapped in the world of symbols to ask, "What is Ted's name?"

When the revelation hits, you will sh!t bricks, and you will realize your direct communication with the god that exists in actuality, and it's mighty hand, the variable unaccounted for.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
mattrodstrom
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2/13/2011 11:50:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 2:08:07 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
At 2/13/2011 7:01:23 AM, vardas0antras wrote:
Where Brooklyn at ?

Brooklyn is temporary human construct. While human constructs come and go relative to time, the wisdom of the Cosmicomicon is eternal, even relative to time.

The concept of Brooklyn lies in the realm of subjectivity, and not the realm of objectivity. It exists, but only as a subjectively observable illusion. Its human relative significance can be compared to the distance between ink molecules in the letter "T" printed on a pamphlet in the first instance of the word "The".

It is a largely irrelevant detail in the great and eternal Cosmicomicon.

sure...

but it's also under queens... and next to manhattan.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
eball45
Posts: 125
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2/14/2011 2:23:13 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
I do understand what you are saying. It's that subjective state mystics speak of. Everything is one and connected. We seperate things merely through are human conditioning. Like "Brooklyn." Sound about right?? There is only subjectivity. I think it would fall under Pantheism, which goes back to the ancientd vaedics (this is modernly played on by 'new age thinkers'). I studied that line of thinking for sometime and had a few of your holy **** momments. However, those momments are induced by your own mental constructs or ideas. It's like a spiritual placebo of sorts. Either way, the experience you feel is self induced and you can never be certain that it's an actual spiritual reality beyond your own mind. It's just a way of looking at the world. A subjective way of looking at the world that may infact bring some peace to certain individuals. It doesn't mean you have the answers to the universe. Only god has those answers. Speaking in ambiguity and then telling people they don't understand doesn't make you correct. If anything, your just expressing some intillectual vanity in the form of pontificating.
rarugged
Posts: 172
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2/14/2011 3:37:08 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/13/2011 3:10:20 PM, eball45 wrote:
Yes, Brooklyn is in one place. It would remain where it's at independent of any relative point of view. So would the moon. So would the sun. So would the TV sitting on the wall. Just because we can observe it doesn't make it there. If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, it still falls. This holy deity of yours would be the witness. It's silly and extremely ambiguous to say that brooklyn isn't there without an observer. Simply, an object must exist to be observed. We don't create the object by staring at it.

Ah, but let's say that everything that you do not observe fails to exist?

For all you know, the Egyptian revolt never existed until you turned on the television.

It sounds nonsensical, but think about it.
If Jesus came back tomorrow, a cross would be the last thing he would want to see.
eball45
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2/14/2011 4:15:35 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 3:37:08 AM, rarugged wrote:
At 2/13/2011 3:10:20 PM, eball45 wrote:
Yes, Brooklyn is in one place. It would remain where it's at independent of any relative point of view. So would the moon. So would the sun. So would the TV sitting on the wall. Just because we can observe it doesn't make it there. If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, it still falls. This holy deity of yours would be the witness. It's silly and extremely ambiguous to say that brooklyn isn't there without an observer. Simply, an object must exist to be observed. We don't create the object by staring at it.

Ah, but let's say that everything that you do not observe fails to exist?

For all you know, the Egyptian revolt never existed until you turned on the television.

It sounds nonsensical, but think about it.

Yes, for all I know. However, me knowing it is independant of the actual event. If I never heard of it at all, it wouldn't exist for me. But the event still would've taken place. Things exist and happen whether or not I know it or not.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 9:12:48 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 2:23:13 AM, eball45 wrote:
I do understand what you are saying. It's that subjective state mystics speak of. Everything is one and connected. We seperate things merely through are human conditioning. Like "Brooklyn." Sound about right?? There is only subjectivity. I think it would fall under Pantheism, which goes back to the ancientd vaedics (this is modernly played on by 'new age thinkers'). I studied that line of thinking for sometime and had a few of your holy **** momments. However, those momments are induced by your own mental constructs or ideas. It's like a spiritual placebo of sorts. Either way, the experience you feel is self induced and you can never be certain that it's an actual spiritual reality beyond your own mind. It's just a way of looking at the world. A subjective way of looking at the world that may infact bring some peace to certain individuals. It doesn't mean you have the answers to the universe. Only god has those answers. Speaking in ambiguity and then telling people they don't understand doesn't make you correct. If anything, your just expressing some intillectual vanity in the form of pontificating.

I'm tempted to make fun of you for thinking you know what I'm talking about when you probably should ask more questions.

I have nothing but complete disdain for the New Age movement. The very things you claim I represent are the things I'm demolishing if you understood what I was saying. Though our human limitations keep us from looking at things objectively, The Cosmicomicon itself is objectivity embodied.

I point out that the concept of Brooklyn is a human construct to make a point.

I am no way advocating this self deluding idea of some kind of literal spiritual reality beyond our own, and how I have experiences of it. The people who do this are swimming in their own heads, and I understand this.

I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am claiming to be a translator of the Cosmicomicon. If you were familiar with Cosmic Alfonzoism, you'd realize that anyone can be a translator... But being a translator is hard work, because a LOT gets lost in translation. Human beings tend to interpret the symbols that represent god rather than god itself.

I am hoping to lead people to the Cosmicomicon so that they can be effective interpretors or even translators on their own.

Understanding the limitations of our communication, grasping the concept of metaphor, and realizing how we tend to spend more time interpreting symbols than reality itself is the key to finding the Cosmicomicon.

The Cosmicomicon and God are one and the same, God is God's word. I'm leading people to God, who DOES have all the answers.

Your eagerness to jump to conclusions still helps the case for truth, but you might get more out of it if you asked questions instead.

Just think of it as a game, and don't take it too seriously if that helps.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 9:56:59 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 9:44:28 AM, Greyparrot wrote:
What does the Cosmicomicon say about gay abortions?

I suppose there is a minority of people who might feel flamboyantly joyful, and dance to show tunes after an abortion.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 10:02:23 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Be a little bit more specific, please.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 10:23:12 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 10:01:03 AM, Greyparrot wrote:
Will it lead to the one true path to (insert some lofty altruistic goal)?

Knowledge of the Cosmicomicon can and should be used for both selfish and selfless gains. It doesn't lead to the one true path any more than knowledge of science leads to the one true path.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 10:23:54 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
If you were talking about gay abortions well....

....

>.>
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
mattrodstrom
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2/14/2011 10:40:42 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 9:12:48 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am claiming to be a translator of the Cosmicomicon. If you were familiar with Cosmic Alfonzoism, you'd realize that anyone can be a translator... But being a translator is hard work, because a LOT gets lost in translation. Human beings tend to interpret the symbols that represent god rather than god itself.

The Cosmicomicon and God are one and the same, God is God's word. I'm leading people to God, who DOES have all the answers.

stoopid.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 11:12:13 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 10:40:42 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 2/14/2011 9:12:48 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am claiming to be a translator of the Cosmicomicon. If you were familiar with Cosmic Alfonzoism, you'd realize that anyone can be a translator... But being a translator is hard work, because a LOT gets lost in translation. Human beings tend to interpret the symbols that represent god rather than god itself.

The Cosmicomicon and God are one and the same, God is God's word. I'm leading people to God, who DOES have all the answers.

stoopid.

Nah, not in the slightest.

Everyone already is a translator. Most are just very bad translators.

God being the same as its word is nothing unusual or even radical. You just have to understand what god is, and then you realize.. Oh yeah, it has been there the whole time.

It's a very natural thing, and nothing even that remarkable. It is important to grasp the symbolic nature of your own understanding and communication. That is the most important revelation. Even the term God is metaphor, but too many atheists have closed their minds up to the point to where they aren't going to understand that.

When I speak of the God, I speak of ultimate reality. Something which is hard to comprehend or even visualize due to the limits of our own perception, but it is there... And we know it is there, because it manifests itself in the laws of the universe.

Open your mind to the way that I am speaking, and you might find that you actually already knew what I'm saying.

I am basically asking, "What is Ted's name?. I am basically saying, "The green ball is green." Someone who has their understanding trapped in the world of symbols is going to have a very hard time grasping what I am saying.

My goal is to help you realize that you are trapped in the world of symbols. The only way to free your mind is to speak in riddles.

Try to make sense of it based on what you know. If nothing else, you will find that it is a good mental exercise.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
mattrodstrom
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2/14/2011 11:54:15 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 11:12:13 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
At 2/14/2011 10:40:42 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 2/14/2011 9:12:48 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am claiming to be a translator of the Cosmicomicon. If you were familiar with Cosmic Alfonzoism, you'd realize that anyone can be a translator... But being a translator is hard work, because a LOT gets lost in translation. Human beings tend to interpret the symbols that represent god rather than god itself.

It's easy as pie.. the only translation you get comes spontaneously/naturally Free And Easy Wandering :)
http://www.cscs.umich.edu...

otherwise the only thing to say is that That which Encompasses All/the universe/the dao exists.
which is also easy and natural to say

The Cosmicomicon and God are one and the same, God is God's word. I'm leading people to God, who DOES have all the answers.

stoopid.

Nah, not in the slightest.

Everyone already is a translator. Most are just very bad translators.
translations come free and easy...

there's no one that's objectively better than any other.. They all come about as they do due to the nature of things.

God being the same as its word is nothing unusual or even radical. You just have to understand what god is, and then you realize.. Oh yeah, it has been there the whole time.

Something surely exists... But there's no reason to say a God exists.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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2/14/2011 12:13:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 11:54:15 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 2/14/2011 11:12:13 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
At 2/14/2011 10:40:42 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 2/14/2011 9:12:48 AM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
I am not claiming to have all the answers. I am claiming to be a translator of the Cosmicomicon. If you were familiar with Cosmic Alfonzoism, you'd realize that anyone can be a translator... But being a translator is hard work, because a LOT gets lost in translation. Human beings tend to interpret the symbols that represent god rather than god itself.

It's easy as pie.. the only translation you get comes spontaneously/naturally Free And Easy Wandering :)
http://www.cscs.umich.edu...

otherwise the only thing to say is that That which Encompasses All/the universe/the dao exists.
which is also easy and natural to say

The Cosmicomicon and God are one and the same, God is God's word. I'm leading people to God, who DOES have all the answers.

stoopid.

Nah, not in the slightest.

Everyone already is a translator. Most are just very bad translators.
translations come free and easy...

there's no one that's objectively better than any other.. They all come about as they do due to the nature of things.

God being the same as its word is nothing unusual or even radical. You just have to understand what god is, and then you realize.. Oh yeah, it has been there the whole time.

Something surely exists... But there's no reason to say a God exists.

You've just been trolled. I can't believe you are giving him serious arguments, he doesn't believe any of this nor is he serious.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/14/2011 12:25:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/14/2011 11:54:15 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
Something surely exists... But there's no reason to say a God exists.

mattrodstrom, coming from a Daoist way of thinking(At least I think)..

You of all people should be able to figure out what I'm getting at.

The first chapter of the Tao Te Ching should give it away to you.

Chapter 1

The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things
Thus, constantly without desire, one observes its essence
Constantly with desire, one observes its manifestations
These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders

Whether I call it Dao, God, Existence, etc is irrelevant, because they are the same thing.

God = Dao in what I am saying.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp