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Sex before marriage...?

one-2-won
Posts: 34
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5/5/2009 1:52:19 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Okay, so there are lots of Christians on here, how many people follow traditional Christian values, wholeheartedly such as- no sex before marriage? Or have such values become out dated and unfashionable? x
snelld7
Posts: 76
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5/5/2009 6:51:59 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
STRONGLY SUPPORT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!!

Saves you from walking into an ETERNAL bad sex relationship!!! lol (I.e. if the guy is not as large as would like... and he sux at it or If the giirl completely sux at everything and makes obnoxious and awkward sounds lol
What happens when an irresistable force meets an immovable object? It goes around, DUH!!
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 10:16:15 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 1:52:19 AM, one-2-won wrote:
Okay, so there are lots of Christians on here, how many people follow traditional Christian values, wholeheartedly such as- no sex before marriage? Or have such values become out dated and unfashionable? x

Many people believe that the bible teaches 'no sex before marriage' but it actually teaches something infinitely more profound.. that sex IS marriage.
The vows/ceremony etc came after the act. ( something we honour even now in that a marriage is not complete without being 'consummated' ) .
The word 'marriage' refers to many different things, for example the 'coupling' mechanism on train carriages.. a nut and bolt are created to 'marry'.
People of the same sex cannot physically 'marry' in this sense.. our body's do not allow it, externally or internally.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (New International Version)
3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


Hey?
The Cross.. the Cross.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/5/2009 10:51:23 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Pre-marital sex is actually a good way of advancing a relationship. If your relationship isn't superficial to begin with, the physical intimacy will have a really big impact. If your relationship is shallow, it will just expose that and you can both go your separate ways.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 11:28:03 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 10:51:23 AM, Kleptin wrote:
Pre-marital sex is actually a good way of advancing a relationship. If your relationship isn't superficial to begin with, the physical intimacy will have a really big impact. If your relationship is shallow, it will just expose that and you can both go your separate ways.

1 Corinthians 6:18-19 (New International Version)
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
The Cross.. the Cross.
JBlake
Posts: 4,634
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5/5/2009 12:03:06 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 10:51:23 AM, Kleptin wrote:
Pre-marital sex is actually a good way of advancing a relationship. If your relationship isn't superficial to begin with, the physical intimacy will have a really big impact. If your relationship is shallow, it will just expose that and you can both go your separate ways.

Kleptin is correct. In addition to this, it will also help you to be certain that this person is the person you wish to commit to spend your life with. It would be an awful thing to learn that you are not physically attracted to your significant other on the day you are married.

Plus, it's fun and enjoyable :)
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/5/2009 12:17:04 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 6:51:59 AM, snelld7 wrote:
STRONGLY SUPPORT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!!

Saves you from walking into an ETERNAL bad sex relationship!!! lol (I.e. if the guy is not as large as would like... and he sux at it or If the giirl completely sux at everything and makes obnoxious and awkward sounds lol

Sex really isn't *everything*, if you're at a stage where you want to marry the girl and be stuck with her the rest of your life, you're looking at 70+ years :P You'll really only care about the sex for at most 30 years, and let's face it, she starts to lose her looks the second the ring goes on her finger anyway.

If anything, the best argument for premarital sex is to get out and have a lot of sexual experiences so you don't miss out on anything once you decide to get hitched.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 12:18:38 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 12:03:06 PM, JBlake wrote:
At 5/5/2009 10:51:23 AM, Kleptin wrote:
Pre-marital sex is actually a good way of advancing a relationship. If your relationship isn't superficial to begin with, the physical intimacy will have a really big impact. If your relationship is shallow, it will just expose that and you can both go your separate ways.

Kleptin is correct. In addition to this, it will also help you to be certain that this person is the person you wish to commit to spend your life with. It would be an awful thing to learn that you are not physically attracted to your significant other on the day you are married.

Plus, it's fun and enjoyable :)

That has been the general consensus since the 60s hasn't it?
And have things improved or got worse since then?
By things I mean:
Divorce rates.
Abortion rates.
Teenage pregnancy rates.
Juvenile Delinquency.
Crime rates.
Etc Etc.
*Makes you think God actually knows what He's doing!*

Genesis 2:24 (New International Version)
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The Cross.. the Cross.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/5/2009 12:26:42 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 12:03:06 PM, JBlake wrote:
Kleptin is correct. In addition to this, it will also help you to be certain that this person is the person you wish to commit to spend your life with. It would be an awful thing to learn that you are not physically attracted to your significant other on the day you are married.

Plus, it's fun and enjoyable :)

Those who argue against pre-marital sex do have some good points though. Though for the most part, the answer is not abstinence, but responsibility. A lot of younger kids are experimenting and they can be traumatized because they aren't mature enough to handle it. Having sex too soon could also ruin a potentially wonderful relationship. So I would say wait, but don't wait too long.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
rogerklotz
Posts: 41
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5/5/2009 12:27:49 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Christian here.

Yes sex before marriage is permissible if you're a christian.

I've heard some responses:

Sex is marriage
it advances your relationship
its not fashionable anymore
etc.

That's not true in the least. Just because you have sex doesn't mean you're married in Biblical context.

The bible basically states: You should be married before you have sex.

But why then do I advocate sex before marriage?

Simple. There is a difference between being married in a modern day legal sense, and being married biblically.

Biblically - you must be positive that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with no matter how hard things get. If you are completely sure that you do not want to be parted from her and she feels the same way. You are biblically married. You can find out if you're biblically married by asking yourself a few questions.

If your partner was in a fire, but survived and sustained massive scars on her face from the fire, would you still be both in love and sexually attracted to her?

If your partner gained 45 pounds would you be as attracted to her/in love with her?

If your partner fell into a deep depression would you still be in love with her?

If you answered yes and honestly when you've thought about a long while still feel that you honestly would. And your partner feels the same, there's a good chance you're biblically married. It usually takes going through the bad times to find out if both partners do feel this way.

Legally, you go through some big ceremony spending thousands of dollars and making a big production of it. You have to fill out large amounts of paperwork. You get rice thrown on you the entire ritual. Then if things aren't going so well 5 years down the road you can end it and find someone else.

As should be evident there's obvious differences. You know when you're biblically married and when you're legally married.
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/5/2009 12:32:58 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
A very wise post, I never though about it that way before.

I guess that the justification *is* valid. Afterall, the main goal for preaching abstinence until marriage is to ensure a permanent and stable, monogamous relationship that is suitable for raising children. If you love someone to that extent, it serves as perfect justification even though there is no Church or document attached to the pair.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
Chuckles
Posts: 274
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5/5/2009 1:02:06 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 12:27:49 PM, rogerklotz wrote:
Christian here.

Yes sex before marriage is permissible if you're a christian.

I've heard some responses:

Sex is marriage
it advances your relationship
its not fashionable anymore
etc.

That's not true in the least. Just because you have sex doesn't mean you're married in Biblical context.

The bible basically states: You should be married before you have sex.

But why then do I advocate sex before marriage?

Simple. There is a difference between being married in a modern day legal sense, and being married biblically.

Biblically - you must be positive that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with no matter how hard things get. If you are completely sure that you do not want to be parted from her and she feels the same way. You are biblically married. You can find out if you're biblically married by asking yourself a few questions.

If your partner was in a fire, but survived and sustained massive scars on her face from the fire, would you still be both in love and sexually attracted to her?

If your partner gained 45 pounds would you be as attracted to her/in love with her?

If your partner fell into a deep depression would you still be in love with her?

If you answered yes and honestly when you've thought about a long while still feel that you honestly would. And your partner feels the same, there's a good chance you're biblically married. It usually takes going through the bad times to find out if both partners do feel this way.

Legally, you go through some big ceremony spending thousands of dollars and making a big production of it. You have to fill out large amounts of paperwork. You get rice thrown on you the entire ritual. Then if things aren't going so well 5 years down the road you can end it and find someone else.

As should be evident there's obvious differences. You know when you're biblically married and when you're legally married.

not to stray from the topic, but if Christians recognize that there are these two types of marriage, why do many insist that the Legal Marriage be denied to homosexuals?

as for me, i'm 17 and not planning on losing my virginity too soon, but i'm not opposed to premarital sex. Just be responsible about it and i don't care what you do as long as i'm not involved.
"Pumas are wretched beasts with enourmous salty genitals."-MadMonkey889

: At 5/5/2009 9:47:22 PM, rogerklotz wrote:
:That's obviously changed by the government. The Atlanteans probably had something to do with it.
: QUIT USING LOGIC

: At 4/25/2009 3:09:34 AM, DATCMOTO wrote:
:God is GOING to have His way with you.
: At 5/5/2009 11:41:18 AM, Volkov wrote:
:When both sides can agree and disagree without someone quoting Proverbs, then the debate comes worthwhile
JBlake
Posts: 4,634
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5/5/2009 1:07:28 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 12:18:38 PM, DATCMOTO wrote:

That has been the general consensus since the 60s hasn't it?
And have things improved or got worse since then?
By things I mean:
Divorce rates.
Abortion rates.
Teenage pregnancy rates.
Juvenile Delinquency.
Crime rates.
Etc Etc.
*Makes you think God actually knows what He's doing!*

In order:
1. Divorce rates are not a result of pre-marital sex. Higher divorce rates are the result of easier access to divorce (a positive), more rights for women (a positive), and less of a social stigma against divorcees (a positive). If you are in a bad relationship, even one in which you are married, you should get out of said relationship.
2. Also the result of easier access to abortions (and the change in legal status, of course). Fixing this problem is not to teach abstinence only, as Kleptin pointed out. The answer is to teach responsibility.
3. Teach responsibility. Also, teen pregnancies have declined over the past coupld of decades. Could this be the result of teaching responsibility and contraception?
http://www.cdc.gov...

4. I'm not sure juvenile delinquency can be attributed to pre-marital sex. You are going to have to show a connection there. Also, juvenile delinquency is on the decline since the 80s as well..
http://aspe.hhs.gov...

5. Crime Rates. Again, you will have to show some sort of connection for crime rates and pre-marital sex...

What has "god" got to do with anything?
rogerklotz
Posts: 41
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5/5/2009 1:13:45 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
not to stray from the topic, but if Christians recognize that there are these two types of marriage, why do many insist that the Legal Marriage be denied to homosexuals?

as for me, i'm 17 and not planning on losing my virginity too soon, but i'm not opposed to premarital sex. Just be responsible about it and i don't care what you do as long as i'm not involved.

The problem for most Christians, isn't the rights. At least for me. I'm entirely for giving homosexuals the exact same rights as heterosexuals including the ceremony (minus the church). Most Christians are against homosexuals using the word "Marriage" because they relate the word marriage as belonging to the religious institution of marriage rather than the legal institution.

Thus the reason why so many people are pro "civil unions" and anti "gay marriage"
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 1:19:36 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 1:13:45 PM, rogerklotz wrote:
not to stray from the topic, but if Christians recognize that there are these two types of marriage, why do many insist that the Legal Marriage be denied to homosexuals?

as for me, i'm 17 and not planning on losing my virginity too soon, but i'm not opposed to premarital sex. Just be responsible about it and i don't care what you do as long as i'm not involved.

The problem for most Christians, isn't the rights. At least for me. I'm entirely for giving homosexuals the exact same rights as heterosexuals including the ceremony (minus the church). Most Christians are against homosexuals using the word "Marriage" because they relate the word marriage as belonging to the religious institution of marriage rather than the legal institution.

Thus the reason why so many people are pro "civil unions" and anti "gay marriage"

Romans 1:26-27 (New International Version)
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.


No.. This is why.
The Cross.. the Cross.
rogerklotz
Posts: 41
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5/5/2009 1:33:18 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 1:16:39 PM, JBlake wrote:
Is that the same reason that christians were opposed to interracial marriage?

LOL no that wasn't limited to Christians.

But it was blatant ignorance.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 2:00:48 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 1:16:39 PM, JBlake wrote:
Is that the same reason that christians were opposed to interracial marriage?

Would you care to expand (and be ripped to pieces) ?

Acts 10:34-35 (New International Version)
Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.
The Cross.. the Cross.
rogerklotz
Posts: 41
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5/5/2009 2:28:39 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 2:00:48 PM, DATCMOTO wrote:
At 5/5/2009 1:16:39 PM, JBlake wrote:
Is that the same reason that christians were opposed to interracial marriage?

Would you care to expand (and be ripped to pieces) ?

I hope you're not implying that your vast body of logic is capable of doing anything other than giving someone a papercut.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 2:39:02 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 1:17:47 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I feel sex before marriage is only justified when both parties have genitalia.

Do i feel a self-righteous rant against the Old testament Judaic Law coming on?

Galatians 2:16 (New International Version)
know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.

The Cross.. the Cross.
rogerklotz
Posts: 41
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5/5/2009 2:41:28 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 2:39:02 PM, DATCMOTO wrote:
Do i feel a self-righteous rant using the Old testament Judaic Law coming on?

Is this your way of telling us that you're going to have another self righteous rant that misuses scripture for your own personal gain?
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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5/5/2009 2:55:42 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Isaiah 55:10-11 (New International Version)

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The Cross.. the Cross.
crackofdawn_Jr
Posts: 1,350
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5/5/2009 3:33:40 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
I believe the Bible teaches that if you take away a girl's virginity you HAVE to marry her. It doesn't say anything about forbidding premarital sex, it just explains what actions should be taken in consequence.
There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics"
-Mark Twain

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"

"Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
- William Shakespeare

"There must be no majority decisions, but only responsible persons, and the word 'council' must be restored to its original meaning. Surely every man will have advisers by his side, but the decision will be made by one man."
- Adolf Hitler
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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5/5/2009 3:45:12 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 3:33:40 PM, crackofdawn_Jr wrote:
I believe the Bible teaches that if you take away a girl's virginity you HAVE to marry her. It doesn't say anything about forbidding premarital sex, it just explains what actions should be taken in consequence.

That only leads to divorce. Just because you take a girl's virginity doesn't mean you must be married to her. It would be good if you committed to a proper relationship, but its not a requirement. It would lead more to unhappy marriages, where the spouses suffer, as well as the children.
crackofdawn_Jr
Posts: 1,350
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5/5/2009 3:46:24 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 3:45:12 PM, Volkov wrote:
At 5/5/2009 3:33:40 PM, crackofdawn_Jr wrote:
I believe the Bible teaches that if you take away a girl's virginity you HAVE to marry her. It doesn't say anything about forbidding premarital sex, it just explains what actions should be taken in consequence.

That only leads to divorce. Just because you take a girl's virginity doesn't mean you must be married to her. It would be good if you committed to a proper relationship, but its not a requirement. It would lead more to unhappy marriages, where the spouses suffer, as well as the children.

If you had sex with a girl it was generally understood (in those times) that you truly loved her. Unless you raped her, which is a whole other deal. Although, I agree that you shouldn't HAVE to marry someone you have sex with.
There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics"
-Mark Twain

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"

"Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
- William Shakespeare

"There must be no majority decisions, but only responsible persons, and the word 'council' must be restored to its original meaning. Surely every man will have advisers by his side, but the decision will be made by one man."
- Adolf Hitler
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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5/5/2009 4:01:00 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Butthead: Hey Beavis, sex before marriage rules.
Beavis: I know. You get to see her thingies.
Butthead: Yeah. And her butt.
Beavis: Yeah yeah, me too!
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
FemaleGamer
Posts: 111
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5/5/2009 4:27:02 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Christian divorce rates are higher than athiests. Yet christians have those "Purity rings" that "keep the relationship strong" yet athiests never use them and we have less divorce then people who do.
TODAY IS CAPS LOCK DAY. yes
crackofdawn_Jr
Posts: 1,350
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5/5/2009 4:30:08 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 5/5/2009 4:27:02 PM, FemaleGamer wrote:
Christian divorce rates are higher than athiests. Yet christians have those "Purity rings" that "keep the relationship strong" yet athiests never use them and we have less divorce then people who do.

I don't trust statistics. o_0
In the words of Mark Twain, "There are 3 types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics".
There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics"
-Mark Twain

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success"

"Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow."
- William Shakespeare

"There must be no majority decisions, but only responsible persons, and the word 'council' must be restored to its original meaning. Surely every man will have advisers by his side, but the decision will be made by one man."
- Adolf Hitler
s0m31john
Posts: 1,879
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5/5/2009 4:32:30 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
I am pro pure girls, not necessarily no sex at all before marriage, but sluts (read: girls) need to stop sleeping around like there's no tomorrow.