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The Rise of Christianity

tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
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Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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4/17/2012 8:17:48 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Lol Hilarious
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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4/17/2012 8:20:09 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Lol this
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
stubs
Posts: 1,887
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4/17/2012 10:10:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Hahhaha mad funny
tkubok
Posts: 5,044
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4/18/2012 7:46:22 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Heres another joke.

Christianity!

Hahaha, seriously though.

You give a man a fish, he eats for a day. You give a man religion, he starves to death praying for a fish.
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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4/18/2012 10:47:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Win
SuburbiaSurvivor
Posts: 872
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4/18/2012 11:16:31 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Hahahahaha!
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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9/14/2012 1:12:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/18/2012 10:47:38 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Win
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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9/14/2012 1:13:46 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 4/17/2012 8:11:36 PM, tvellalott wrote:
Once upon a time Jesus, Horus and Mithra were all sitting drinking together in the bar of the Gods.
They were arguing over who would get to be the dominant religious figure in the coming years.
Horus said "I walked on water! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Mithra both explain that they too walked on water.
Mithra says "Well, I was born of a virgin! I should lead humanity!" but Jesus and Horus both explain that they too were both born of virgins.
Finally, after realising that they have all lived almost identical lives, they decide to just have a few more drinks and call it a night. Unfortunately, the bartender tells them that Thor and Loki have drank all the alcohol in the place and all that's left is water.
Jesus stands up and says "Don't worry guys, I got this."

And that's why Christianity is the dominant religion today.

Hahaha excellent.