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Atheist/Religious Comedy

twocupcakes
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6/4/2012 4:48:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Post your favourite atheist or religious comedians. Discuss, laugh and enjoy.

Here is one of Norm Macdonald making fun of atheists.

Here is a funny one of Doug Stanhope talking about the pope.
Stephen_Hawkins
Posts: 5,316
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6/4/2012 6:51:54 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
This is why I don't like American stand up: you're all terrible at it! Maybe two good jokes...
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to be Gay, he'll positively influence the GDP.

Social Contract Theory debate: http://www.debate.org...
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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6/4/2012 6:58:32 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
The Fool: He he. http://youtu.be...
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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6/4/2012 7:00:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
The Fool: what am I doing wrong?
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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6/4/2012 7:03:17 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
EvanK
Posts: 599
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6/4/2012 7:38:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I find this Lewis Black clip particularly funny.

And of course, what comedy thread is complete without a little George Carlin?
The problem with socialism is that, sooner or later, you run out of people's money."_Margaret Thatcher

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."_Thomas Jefferson

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."_Thomas Jefferson

"It is easier to fool someone than to convince them that they have been fooled."-Mark Twain
Agent_Orange
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6/4/2012 7:41:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 6:51:54 PM, Stephen_Hawkins wrote:
This is why I don't like American stand up: you're all terrible at it! Maybe two good jokes...

What?! There's maybe 1 good English comedian. Ricky gervais. American comedy is king
#BlackLivesMatter
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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6/4/2012 7:52:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 7:41:47 PM, Agent_Orange wrote:
At 6/4/2012 6:51:54 PM, Stephen_Hawkins wrote:
This is why I don't like American stand up: you're all terrible at it! Maybe two good jokes...


What?! There's maybe 1 good English comedian. Ricky gervais. American comedy is king


Seriously.. I can't even think of any good english comics..

But, none of these guys above are very funny either..
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
vbaculum
Posts: 1,274
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6/4/2012 10:01:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Tim Minchin, of course.
"If you claim to value nonviolence and you consume animal products, you need to rethink your position on nonviolence." - Gary Francione

THE WORLD IS VEGAN! If you want it
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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6/4/2012 10:06:53 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 7:41:47 PM, Agent_Orange wrote:
At 6/4/2012 6:51:54 PM, Stephen_Hawkins wrote:
This is why I don't like American stand up: you're all terrible at it! Maybe two good jokes...


What?! There's maybe 1 good English comedian. Ricky gervais. American comedy is king

Serious dude? English humor is miles ahead of American. English is much more witty and clever while American I'm sad to say is very much about just acting silly.
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
vbaculum
Posts: 1,274
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6/4/2012 10:11:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 7:03:17 PM, The_Fool_on_the_hill wrote:


I'm liking this guy!
"If you claim to value nonviolence and you consume animal products, you need to rethink your position on nonviolence." - Gary Francione

THE WORLD IS VEGAN! If you want it
bossyburrito
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6/4/2012 10:13:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 6:51:54 PM, Stephen_Hawkins wrote:
This is why I don't like American stand up: you're all terrible at it! Maybe two good jokes...


American comedy - George Carlin= dog crap.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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6/4/2012 10:35:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 10:13:44 PM, bossyburrito wrote:

American comedy - George Carlin= dog crap.

Louis C.K.

Your argument is negated.
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WriterDave
Posts: 934
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6/5/2012 1:51:15 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Can't post or view videos, but here's a joke:

A lifelong atheist is fishing in a lake in Scotland, enjoying the clear summer day. Suddenly, the water ripples beneath him, and a HUGE CREATURE emerges from the depths! The atheist frantically tries to row away, but the creature grabs him in his giant claws, roars hungrily and brings him up to its gaping jaw.

"Oh God, help me!" cries the atheist.

Suddenly, everything stops. The giant creature freezes; the lake's surface is as hard as glass. A bright, beaming light comes down from the heavens, and a voice speaks:

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN ME."

The atheist replies: "Yeah, well, until a few seconds ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"
Writer. Liberal atheist. Official "Official of the FREEDO Bureaucracy" of the FREEDO Bureaucracy.

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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/5/2012 2:35:39 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 10:35:40 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 6/4/2012 10:13:44 PM, bossyburrito wrote:

American comedy - George Carlin= dog crap.

Louis C.K.

Your argument is negated.



I concede.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/5/2012 2:46:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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6/5/2012 10:52:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
http://www.smbc-comics.com...
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
The_Fool_on_the_hill
Posts: 6,071
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6/5/2012 12:32:18 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/4/2012 10:11:41 PM, vbaculum wrote:
At 6/4/2012 7:03:17 PM, The_Fool_on_the_hill wrote:


I'm liking this guy!

The Fool: LOL <(;D)
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
EvanK
Posts: 599
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6/5/2012 12:34:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/5/2012 1:51:15 AM, WriterDave wrote:
Can't post or view videos, but here's a joke:

A lifelong atheist is fishing in a lake in Scotland, enjoying the clear summer day. Suddenly, the water ripples beneath him, and a HUGE CREATURE emerges from the depths! The atheist frantically tries to row away, but the creature grabs him in his giant claws, roars hungrily and brings him up to its gaping jaw.

"Oh God, help me!" cries the atheist.

Suddenly, everything stops. The giant creature freezes; the lake's surface is as hard as glass. A bright, beaming light comes down from the heavens, and a voice speaks:

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN ME."

The atheist replies: "Yeah, well, until a few seconds ago, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"

Hahaha! I like that one!!
The problem with socialism is that, sooner or later, you run out of people's money."_Margaret Thatcher

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."_Thomas Jefferson

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it."_Thomas Jefferson

"It is easier to fool someone than to convince them that they have been fooled."-Mark Twain
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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6/5/2012 2:27:49 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Christian Bear

An Atheist in the woods admiring the beauty of it thought to himself, "Evolution made that tree and evolution made those birds, and made the flowers in the field, and the grass. All of a sudden a Grizzly bear charges from the bushes after him. He runs away trying to escape but trips on a root. As the bear prepares to pounce on him he screams, "OH MY GOD!" The bear freezes in mid pounce, the trees stop waving in the wind. A bright light shines on him and a loud booming voice says, "You spend your entire life not believing in me, tell others not to believe in me, and attribute MY creation to natural selection!" "So why should I save you and if I do, am I to believe that you would now be a Christian?" The atheist states that it would be hypocritical of him to assume that, but could God make the bear a Christian. God says, "ok" and time restarts.. The bear gets down on his knees, folds his paws together and says, "Oh! Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive.."

God's Earth

Finally, now that all the scientists figured out a way to make life from the earth itself, they decided to tell God to retire. So, a delegation went in His holy presence, and said Lord, now that we are independent and we are creators in our own right, give us the power and retire.

The Holy One said, "indeed, what have you accomplished?" The scientists said that they can now independently make life, the highest of his creation! The Holy One said, "okay let me see it done." So the scientist went to pick up some dirt... and the Lord interupted... "no, no, no... Dont use MY dirt I Create your own!!"
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
Rusty
Posts: 2,109
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6/5/2012 3:14:13 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/5/2012 2:27:49 PM, Paradox_7 wrote:
Christian Bear

An Atheist in the woods admiring the beauty of it thought to himself, "Evolution made that tree and evolution made those birds, and made the flowers in the field, and the grass. All of a sudden a Grizzly bear charges from the bushes after him. He runs away trying to escape but trips on a root. As the bear prepares to pounce on him he screams, "OH MY GOD!" The bear freezes in mid pounce, the trees stop waving in the wind. A bright light shines on him and a loud booming voice says, "You spend your entire life not believing in me, tell others not to believe in me, and attribute MY creation to natural selection!" "So why should I save you and if I do, am I to believe that you would now be a Christian?" The atheist states that it would be hypocritical of him to assume that, but could God make the bear a Christian. God says, "ok" and time restarts.. The bear gets down on his knees, folds his paws together and says, "Oh! Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive.."



God's Earth


Finally, now that all the scientists figured out a way to make life from the earth itself, they decided to tell God to retire. So, a delegation went in His holy presence, and said Lord, now that we are independent and we are creators in our own right, give us the power and retire.

The Holy One said, "indeed, what have you accomplished?" The scientists said that they can now independently make life, the highest of his creation! The Holy One said, "okay let me see it done." So the scientist went to pick up some dirt... and the Lord interupted... "no, no, no... Dont use MY dirt I Create your own!!"

Do either of these actually make you laugh? That's not a rhetorical question, I'm genuinely curious if they do.
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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6/5/2012 3:17:41 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/5/2012 3:14:13 PM, Rusty wrote:
At 6/5/2012 2:27:49 PM, Paradox_7 wrote:
Christian Bear

An Atheist in the woods admiring the beauty of it thought to himself, "Evolution made that tree and evolution made those birds, and made the flowers in the field, and the grass. All of a sudden a Grizzly bear charges from the bushes after him. He runs away trying to escape but trips on a root. As the bear prepares to pounce on him he screams, "OH MY GOD!" The bear freezes in mid pounce, the trees stop waving in the wind. A bright light shines on him and a loud booming voice says, "You spend your entire life not believing in me, tell others not to believe in me, and attribute MY creation to natural selection!" "So why should I save you and if I do, am I to believe that you would now be a Christian?" The atheist states that it would be hypocritical of him to assume that, but could God make the bear a Christian. God says, "ok" and time restarts.. The bear gets down on his knees, folds his paws together and says, "Oh! Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive.."



God's Earth


Finally, now that all the scientists figured out a way to make life from the earth itself, they decided to tell God to retire. So, a delegation went in His holy presence, and said Lord, now that we are independent and we are creators in our own right, give us the power and retire.

The Holy One said, "indeed, what have you accomplished?" The scientists said that they can now independently make life, the highest of his creation! The Holy One said, "okay let me see it done." So the scientist went to pick up some dirt... and the Lord interupted... "no, no, no... Dont use MY dirt I Create your own!!"

Do either of these actually make you laugh? That's not a rhetorical question, I'm genuinely curious if they do.


No, i just posted them to see if others could share in my unamusement..
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
Rusty
Posts: 2,109
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6/5/2012 3:19:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 6/5/2012 3:17:41 PM, Paradox_7 wrote:
At 6/5/2012 3:14:13 PM, Rusty wrote:
At 6/5/2012 2:27:49 PM, Paradox_7 wrote:
Christian Bear

An Atheist in the woods admiring the beauty of it thought to himself, "Evolution made that tree and evolution made those birds, and made the flowers in the field, and the grass. All of a sudden a Grizzly bear charges from the bushes after him. He runs away trying to escape but trips on a root. As the bear prepares to pounce on him he screams, "OH MY GOD!" The bear freezes in mid pounce, the trees stop waving in the wind. A bright light shines on him and a loud booming voice says, "You spend your entire life not believing in me, tell others not to believe in me, and attribute MY creation to natural selection!" "So why should I save you and if I do, am I to believe that you would now be a Christian?" The atheist states that it would be hypocritical of him to assume that, but could God make the bear a Christian. God says, "ok" and time restarts.. The bear gets down on his knees, folds his paws together and says, "Oh! Lord thank you for this meal I am about to receive.."



God's Earth


Finally, now that all the scientists figured out a way to make life from the earth itself, they decided to tell God to retire. So, a delegation went in His holy presence, and said Lord, now that we are independent and we are creators in our own right, give us the power and retire.

The Holy One said, "indeed, what have you accomplished?" The scientists said that they can now independently make life, the highest of his creation! The Holy One said, "okay let me see it done." So the scientist went to pick up some dirt... and the Lord interupted... "no, no, no... Dont use MY dirt I Create your own!!"

Do either of these actually make you laugh? That's not a rhetorical question, I'm genuinely curious if they do.


No, i just posted them to see if others could share in my unamusement..

Oh.