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Bizarre Bibles Verses

Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/10/2012 2:44:35 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Post the most bizarre, immoral, and contradictory bible verses you can find.
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Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/10/2012 2:57:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Arbitrary, ridiculous, stupid:
Deuteronomy 23:2 "One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Bizarre, wtf:
Deuteronomy 23: 1
No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of God.

Ezekiel 23:19-20
19 She remembered how she had been a prostitute in Egypt when she was young. So she took part in even more prostitution. 20 She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses.

Philemon 1:20
Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord.

Immoral:
Leviticus 25:44
Such slaves you have, male or female, should come from the nations around you. From them you may buy slaves.

Cannibalism is alright under the proper circumstances
Deuteronomy 28:53
Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"God is a being of terrific character...cruel, vindictive, capricious and unjust." Thomas Jefferson

I could drink to that.
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MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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7/10/2012 3:00:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 2:57:58 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Arbitrary, ridiculous, stupid:
Deuteronomy 23:2 "One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Bizarre, wtf:
Deuteronomy 23: 1
No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of God.

Immoral:
Leviticus 25:44
Such slaves you have, male or female, should come from the nations around you. From them you may buy slaves.

Cannibalism is alright under the proper circumstances
Deuteronomy 28:53
Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of these are completely contradictory to what I was taught as a child.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
ATHOS
Posts: 123
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7/10/2012 3:17:23 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 2:44:35 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Post the most bizarre, immoral, and contradictory bible verses you can find.

'The LORD is a jealous God, filled with vengeance and wrath. He takes revenge on all who oppose him and furiously destroys his enemies! The LORD is slow to get angry, but his power is great, and he never lets the guilty go unpunished. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury? His rage blazes forth like fire, and the mountains crumble to dust in his presence. The LORD is good. When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge. And he knows everyone who trusts in him. But he sweeps away his enemies in an overwhelming flood. He pursues his foes into the darkness of night.' (Nahum 1:2-8 NLT)
What can be expected from insane premises except an insane conclusion? The way to undo an insane conclusion is to consider the sanity of the premises on which it rests.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How long will contradiction stand when its impossible nature is clearly revealed?
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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7/10/2012 4:39:56 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Every one of these would sound badass if Samuel L. Jackson said them.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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7/10/2012 5:32:30 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 2:57:58 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Arbitrary, ridiculous, stupid:
Deuteronomy 23:2 "One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the assembly of the Lord; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Bizarre, wtf:
Deuteronomy 23: 1
No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the assembly of God.

Ezekiel 23:19-20
19 She remembered how she had been a prostitute in Egypt when she was young. So she took part in even more prostitution. 20 She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses.

Philemon 1:20
Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord.

Immoral:
Leviticus 25:44
Such slaves you have, male or female, should come from the nations around you. From them you may buy slaves.

Cannibalism is alright under the proper circumstances
Deuteronomy 28:53
Then because of the dire straights to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"God is a being of terrific character...cruel, vindictive, capricious and unjust." Thomas Jefferson

I could drink to that.

"20 She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses."

HAHAHA
twocupcakes
Posts: 2,750
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7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'

Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/11/2012 6:01:22 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

Good collection. You're probably my favorite n00b, twocupcakes.
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ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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7/11/2012 7:57:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

You do realize this was written in like 40 AD, that wasn't sexist at the time and slavery was a part of human society until 1900? Sheesh.
Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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7/11/2012 8:03:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/11/2012 7:57:24 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

You do realize this was written in like 40 AD, that wasn't sexist at the time and slavery was a part of human society until 1900? Sheesh.

You do realize that it was supposedly inspired by God right? If morality is objective, and the source for this objective morality is God, then the same rules that applied then should apply now. Unless you believe The Bible was simply the word of men without any divine authority driving it, then you would adhere to the same view as Atheists.
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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7/11/2012 9:10:07 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/11/2012 7:57:24 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

You do realize this was written in like 40 AD, that wasn't sexist at the time and slavery was a part of human society until 1900? Sheesh.

http://www.quickmeme.com...
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Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
phantom
Posts: 6,774
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7/11/2012 9:34:46 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/11/2012 9:10:07 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 7/11/2012 7:57:24 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

You do realize this was written in like 40 AD, that wasn't sexist at the time and slavery was a part of human society until 1900? Sheesh.

http://www.quickmeme.com...

I wouldn't say it's a terrible argument. It is something to consider how drastically different people thought back then. Though it is, of course, obviously flawed.
"Music is a zen-like ecstatic state where you become the new man of the future, the Nietzschean merger of Apollo and Dionysus." Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
The_Fool_on_the_hill
Posts: 6,071
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7/11/2012 9:47:36 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/11/2012 9:34:46 PM, phantom wrote:
At 7/11/2012 9:10:07 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 7/11/2012 7:57:24 PM, ConservativePolitico wrote:
At 7/10/2012 7:51:20 AM, twocupcakes wrote:
WTF

Deuteronomy 22:10
'You must not plough with ox and donkey together.'

Exodus 23:19
'You will not boil a kid in its mother's milk.'


Immoral
Deuteronomy 13:6-8
'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him.'
You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.
Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death.

Slavery

1 Peter 2:18
Slaves, obey your masters in all fear, not only those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are cruel.

Sexist

1 Timothy 2:11-12
A woman should learn in silence and full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must keep silent.

1 Corinthians 14:34
Women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak.

You do realize this was written in like 40 AD, that wasn't sexist at the time and slavery was a part of human society until 1900? Sheesh.

http://www.quickmeme.com...

I wouldn't say it's a terrible argument. It is something to consider how drastically different people thought back then. Though it is, of course, obviously flawed.

The Fool: SO THEN WHY TRUST ANY OF THE BIBLE!! IF YOU KNOW THEY WERE CRAZY!>
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
s-anthony
Posts: 2,582
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7/11/2012 10:18:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/10/2012 3:17:23 AM, ATHOS wrote:
At 7/10/2012 2:44:35 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
Post the most bizarre, immoral, and contradictory bible verses you can find.

'The LORD is a jealous God, filled with vengeance and wrath. He takes revenge on all who oppose him and furiously destroys his enemies! The LORD is slow to get angry, but his power is great, and he never lets the guilty go unpunished. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury? His rage blazes forth like fire, and the mountains crumble to dust in his presence. The LORD is good. When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge. And he knows everyone who trusts in him. But he sweeps away his enemies in an overwhelming flood. He pursues his foes into the darkness of night.' (Nahum 1:2-8 NLT)

Don't forget, "...his mercy endureth forever." That's I 16:34.