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Laughs and giggles and all that good stuff...

ScottyDouglas
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8/24/2012 2:48:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
A smile increases your facial value, seriously! So spend a little time here and exercise your smile muscles with humorous stories, sayings, anecdotes and jokes, right here->below!

Here is one to start =]

A woman pulled up to a red light behind another car. The driver of the car in front of her was talking on his cell phone, and shuffling through some papers on the seat beside him.
The light turned green, but the man didn't notice. The woman began pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man still didn't move.
The woman went ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dashboard.
The light turned yellow. The woman blew the car's horn repeatedly, as she yelled and screamed curses at the man.
The man finally noticed the commotion. He looked up, saw the yellow light, and accelerated through the intersection just as the light turned red.
The woman was beside herself, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant she heard a tap on her window and looked into the face of a very serious looking policeman.
The policeman told her to shut off her engine and step out of the car. The red-faced woman obeyed, speechless at what was happening.
The policeman then arrested the woman and took her to the police station where she was booked and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours the woman was escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer was waiting with her personal effects.
The policeman handed her the bag containing her things, and said, "I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn and screaming and cursing. Then I noticed the *Choose Life* license plate holder, the *Follow Me to Sunday School* bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed that you had stolen the car. Have a blessed day!"
TheAsylum
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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8/24/2012 5:46:30 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
My personalized argument for the Bible's truth and the existence of God...........

I did not kill my ex-wife, instead I sent her a big chunk of the money that I worked for each week, until my boys were grown.

I did not kill all those idiots that cut me off in traffic when I'm running late for work, the ones who gave me road rage on a daily basis.

I did nothing to my nosey neighbor and his yapping little rat-with-a-tail that he calls a dog, who were the bane of my existence for years.

I did not steal, I worked for what I wanted.

I stopped partying when I became a father.

I did not rape, pillage, and plunder, not even Cote De Pablo.
http://images5.fanpop.com......

I did not lust after.....Ok, ya know what, if we were all perfect we wouldn't need forgiveness, now would we??

I could have had an Astin-Martin, I could have had a beach house, I could have had vacation homes around the globe, visited exotic lands and ravaged the women there. Willing or not, Cote De Pablo could be Cote De Medic.

I didn't do these things, along with many others, because the Bible says they are wrong. I don't consider myself stupid, or easily swayed. I refuse to beleive that I'm so stupid as to spend a lifetime depriving myself of these pleasures, such as Cote De Pablo, for no good reason.

My witch of an ex-wife is still alive, and there is no Cote De Medic. Therefore, God must exist.
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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8/24/2012 5:57:37 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 5:46:30 PM, medic0506 wrote:
My personalized argument for the Bible's truth and the existence of God...........

I did not kill my ex-wife, instead I sent her a big chunk of the money that I worked for each week, until my boys were grown.

I did not kill all those idiots that cut me off in traffic when I'm running late for work, the ones who gave me road rage on a daily basis.

I did nothing to my nosey neighbor and his yapping little rat-with-a-tail that he calls a dog, who were the bane of my existence for years.

I did not steal, I worked for what I wanted.

I stopped partying when I became a father.

I did not rape, pillage, and plunder, not even Cote De Pablo.
http://images5.fanpop.com......

I did not lust after.....Ok, ya know what, if we were all perfect we wouldn't need forgiveness, now would we??

I could have had an Astin-Martin, I could have had a beach house, I could have had vacation homes around the globe, visited exotic lands and ravaged the women there. Willing or not, Cote De Pablo could be Cote De Medic.

I didn't do these things, along with many others, because the Bible says they are wrong. I don't consider myself stupid, or easily swayed. I refuse to beleive that I'm so stupid as to spend a lifetime depriving myself of these pleasures, such as Cote De Pablo, for no good reason.

My witch of an ex-wife is still alive, and there is no Cote De Medic. Therefore, God must exist.


Lol, i read this in the other thread, thought it was pretty funny ;)
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
Lordknukle
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8/24/2012 6:09:59 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 6:08:27 PM, medic0506 wrote:
Sad thing is that several people actually thought I was being serious.

http://creationrevolution.com...
"Easy is the descent to Avernus, for the door to the Underworld lies upon both day and night. But to retrace your steps and return to the breezes above- that's the task, that's the toil."
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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8/24/2012 6:12:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Alright, I heard this joke a few years ago, though it was funny, I'm gonna try to word it the way i remember; hopefully i don't mess it up too bad ;p

There 2 guys: 1 Black, 1 White. They began arguing about what nationality they believed God to be. Of course they new the history of the JEWs being God's people or what not, but they felt it wasn't unreasonable, to assume God could be another race.

Then men go back and forth arguing the evidence of God being either black or white. The whie guy (sterotyipcally) mentions the order of the universe and how it had to have been a white guy to acheive such precision. The black guy describes the fullness of life and relationships and argues God must have had more culture and personality, hence he was probably black! (this is how the joke was told to me, I do not hold these views personally..lol [some of them ;)]).

The 2 get so engrossed in the discussion that they cross the street without payng attention to the signal. They are both struck by a bus and killed instantly.

They both arrive at the pearly gates, and once they come to their senses, pikc up the argument right where they left off! lol Whilst those 2 are bickering and reasoning with a new intensity, Peter approaches them, and beckons them forward.

As they walk up to him, still arguing, they both assert their arguments to Peter and plead for him to resolve their (literally) life ending discussion. Peter simply smiles and says: "You'll see".

The gate opens and the silouette of a man appears coming closer. The 2 men, still whispering little provocations, sit in suspense when God finally greets them:

"Que paso!"

lol.. yeah that's it.
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
Sidewalker
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8/24/2012 6:34:32 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf and they come to a long hole that has a lake in front of the green.

Moses tees off first and he's short, his ball heads right for the center of the lake. Just before the ball hits the water, the waters part and the ball bounces off the bottom of the lake and up onto the green.

Jesus tees off next, he is short too but the ball bounces on the water and then rolls across the surface of the lake and up onto the green.

The old man tees off last and he is short too. Just before the ball hits the water a large fish jumps out of the water and swallows the ball. Just before the fish lands back in the water an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in his talons and flies way up into the sky and drops the fish. The fish lands with a thud on the green making the ball pop out of the fish and roll right up to the hole, but it stops right on the edge. Just then there is a minor earthquake and the ball drops into the hole for an amazing hole in one. Jesus and Moses stand in amazement for a moment and then Jesus turns to the old man and says...

"Nice shot Dad."
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
Sidewalker
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8/24/2012 6:37:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Jesus is playing golf alone with his caddie.

They come to the very long hole with a lake in front of the green again and Jesus asks his caddie for his driver. The caddie says, "Oh come on Jesus, take an iron and lay up, maybe Jack Nicholas could make that shot but no way you can hit the ball that far."

Jesus says, "I think I can make it, give me the driver".

Jesus takes the shot and plunk, it goes right into the lake. When they get to the lake Jesus walks across the water, gets to where his ball is, rolls up his sleeve and reaches into the water to retrieve his ball and begins walking back across the lake.

Another golfer sees this happening and yells out, "Holy cow, who do you think you are, Jesus?"

The caddie yells back, "No, he IS Jesus…but he thinks he's Jack Nicholas".
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
Paradox_7
Posts: 1,870
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8/24/2012 7:44:39 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does
: At 10/23/2012 8:06:03 PM, tvellalott wrote:
: Don't be. The Catholic Church is ran by Darth Sidius for fvck sake. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bona fide member of the Sith.
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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8/24/2012 8:19:34 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:13:16 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
There is a "Jokes" Forum for a reason . . .

Any forum where we run into you is a joke forum. :)

Sorry I couldn't resist...lol
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 8:26:02 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:13:16 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
There is a "Jokes" Forum for a reason . . .

This is religious jokes specifically though. For or against religion.
TheAsylum
Koopin
Posts: 12,090
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8/24/2012 8:28:20 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:19:34 PM, medic0506 wrote:
At 8/24/2012 8:13:16 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
There is a "Jokes" Forum for a reason . . .

Any forum where we run into you is a joke forum. :)

Sorry I couldn't resist...lol
kfc
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 8:34:25 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 5:46:30 PM, medic0506 wrote:
My personalized argument for the Bible's truth and the existence of God...........

I did not kill my ex-wife, instead I sent her a big chunk of the money that I worked for each week, until my boys were grown.

I did not kill all those idiots that cut me off in traffic when I'm running late for work, the ones who gave me road rage on a daily basis.

I did nothing to my nosey neighbor and his yapping little rat-with-a-tail that he calls a dog, who were the bane of my existence for years.

I did not steal, I worked for what I wanted.

I stopped partying when I became a father.

I did not rape, pillage, and plunder, not even Cote De Pablo.
http://images5.fanpop.com......

I did not lust after.....Ok, ya know what, if we were all perfect we wouldn't need forgiveness, now would we??

I could have had an Astin-Martin, I could have had a beach house, I could have had vacation homes around the globe, visited exotic lands and ravaged the women there. Willing or not, Cote De Pablo could be Cote De Medic.

I didn't do these things, along with many others, because the Bible says they are wrong. I don't consider myself stupid, or easily swayed. I refuse to beleive that I'm so stupid as to spend a lifetime depriving myself of these pleasures, such as Cote De Pablo, for no good reason.

My witch of an ex-wife is still alive, and there is no Cote De Medic. Therefore, God must exist.

This is hilarious.
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 8:38:57 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 6:12:39 PM, Paradox_7 wrote:
Alright, I heard this joke a few years ago, though it was funny, I'm gonna try to word it the way i remember; hopefully i don't mess it up too bad ;p


There 2 guys: 1 Black, 1 White. They began arguing about what nationality they believed God to be. Of course they new the history of the JEWs being God's people or what not, but they felt it wasn't unreasonable, to assume God could be another race.

Then men go back and forth arguing the evidence of God being either black or white. The whie guy (sterotyipcally) mentions the order of the universe and how it had to have been a white guy to acheive such precision. The black guy describes the fullness of life and relationships and argues God must have had more culture and personality, hence he was probably black! (this is how the joke was told to me, I do not hold these views personally..lol [some of them ;)]).

The 2 get so engrossed in the discussion that they cross the street without payng attention to the signal. They are both struck by a bus and killed instantly.

They both arrive at the pearly gates, and once they come to their senses, pikc up the argument right where they left off! lol Whilst those 2 are bickering and reasoning with a new intensity, Peter approaches them, and beckons them forward.

As they walk up to him, still arguing, they both assert their arguments to Peter and plead for him to resolve their (literally) life ending discussion. Peter simply smiles and says: "You'll see".

The gate opens and the silouette of a man appears coming closer. The 2 men, still whispering little provocations, sit in suspense when God finally greets them:

"Que paso!"


lol.. yeah that's it.

This was a good 1. Lol. had to read again.lol
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 8:40:38 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 6:37:47 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
Jesus is playing golf alone with his caddie.

They come to the very long hole with a lake in front of the green again and Jesus asks his caddie for his driver. The caddie says, "Oh come on Jesus, take an iron and lay up, maybe Jack Nicholas could make that shot but no way you can hit the ball that far."

Jesus says, "I think I can make it, give me the driver".

Jesus takes the shot and plunk, it goes right into the lake. When they get to the lake Jesus walks across the water, gets to where his ball is, rolls up his sleeve and reaches into the water to retrieve his ball and begins walking back across the lake.

Another golfer sees this happening and yells out, "Holy cow, who do you think you are, Jesus?"

The caddie yells back, "No, he IS Jesus…but he thinks he's Jack Nicholas".

ROFL
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 8:43:44 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:19:34 PM, medic0506 wrote:
At 8/24/2012 8:13:16 PM, royalpaladin wrote:
There is a "Jokes" Forum for a reason . . .

Any forum where we run into you is a joke forum. :)

Sorry I couldn't resist...lol

LMAO =]
TheAsylum
THEBOMB
Posts: 2,872
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8/24/2012 8:55:15 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."
THEBOMB
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8/24/2012 8:59:57 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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8/24/2012 9:05:04 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:59:57 PM, THEBOMB wrote:
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Such an epic win :)
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 9:08:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 8:59:57 PM, THEBOMB wrote:
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

#1 was hilarious.
TheAsylum
imabench
Posts: 21,210
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8/24/2012 9:10:16 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Two boys are in christian school, they harass each other all the time and sit next to each other every day in class. One day one of the boys got a pin to poke the other boy with in class while the teacher was asking questions.

The teacher asks "Who created the Heavens and the Universe?"
The boy pokes the other boy with the pin,
the boy in pain yells "GOD!!!"

"Correct!" The teacher says. She then asks "Who died on the cross for your sins?"
The boy jabs the pin into the other boy again, this time harder.
"JESUS CHRIST" he yells.

"Correct again!, Now what did Eve say to adam the first time they had sex?"

The boy really shoves the pin into the other boy, and this time he loses it.

"IF YOU TRY POKING ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME I WILL TAKE IT, BREAK IT IN HALF, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A**!!!!!!"

The teacher says "Correct!"
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THEBOMB
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8/24/2012 9:10:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."
.
.
.
.
.
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."
ScottyDouglas
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8/24/2012 9:13:00 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 9:10:16 PM, imabench wrote:
Two boys are in christian school, they harass each other all the time and sit next to each other every day in class. One day one of the boys got a pin to poke the other boy with in class while the teacher was asking questions.

The teacher asks "Who created the Heavens and the Universe?"
The boy pokes the other boy with the pin,
the boy in pain yells "GOD!!!"

"Correct!" The teacher says. She then asks "Who died on the cross for your sins?"
The boy jabs the pin into the other boy again, this time harder.
"JESUS CHRIST" he yells.

"Correct again!, Now what did Eve say to adam the first time they had sex?"

The boy really shoves the pin into the other boy, and this time he loses it.

"IF YOU TRY POKING ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME I WILL TAKE IT, BREAK IT IN HALF, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A**!!!!!!"

The teacher says "Correct!"

The beginning started off good the end drifted but thanks for posting....continue with more.
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
Posts: 2,350
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8/24/2012 9:15:40 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 9:10:28 PM, THEBOMB wrote:
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."
.
.
.
.
.
A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says "get in, get in!" The religous man replies, " no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle."

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause "God will grant him a miracle."

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down." St. Peter chuckles and responds, "I don't know what you're complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter."

Both funny. I heard the secong before.
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
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8/24/2012 9:37:50 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 8/24/2012 9:30:39 PM, medic0506 wrote:
These are all great, and it's nice to have a little break from all the serious bickering.

Agreed.
TheAsylum
ScottyDouglas
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8/25/2012 7:05:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
BIBLE TRIVIA

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A.Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.

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