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Jehovah's Witnesses

Xer
Posts: 7,776
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9/27/2009 3:55:42 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
It is that time of year again- The Jehovahs will soon be coming around to knock your doors down and try to give you a Bible so you will pay them lots of $$$. Anyway, if my parents aren't home when the Jehovahs come around I'm thinking of doing something lolworthy to them. Anybody have suggestions? Does anyone have any stories about their personal interactions with Jehovahs?

Moar:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com...
comoncents
Posts: 5,647
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9/27/2009 3:58:45 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 3:55:42 PM, Nags wrote:
It is that time of year again- The Jehovahs will soon be coming around to knock your doors down and try to give you a Bible so you will pay them lots of $$$. Anyway, if my parents aren't home when the Jehovahs come around I'm thinking of doing something lolworthy to them. Anybody have suggestions? Does anyone have any stories about their personal interactions with Jehovahs?

Moar:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com...

no, but my grandmother told me that if i were bad they would come take me away.

they would knock on the door and i would be sharding myself.
we never answered the door but man when i saw them i thought they were going to take me away.
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

But hey, its like Christmas; didn't get what you want last year? Well thats okay, because it comes around again this year
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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9/27/2009 8:30:08 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
I see them around sometimes, but they usually bother other people.

My grandmother, who doesn't speak a word of English, calls them "Mormons" o.o?
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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9/27/2009 8:50:33 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

But hey, its like Christmas; didn't get what you want last year? Well thats okay, because it comes around again this year

Would you really do this?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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9/27/2009 9:32:16 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 8:50:33 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

But hey, its like Christmas; didn't get what you want last year? Well thats okay, because it comes around again this year

Would you really do this?

I might. Probably not. I'm not that confrontational.
patsox834
Posts: 406
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9/27/2009 9:33:43 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

Why?
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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9/27/2009 9:44:59 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 9:33:43 PM, patsox834 wrote:
At 9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

Why?

Why not?

They come to my door, wanting to tell me their side of the story. That is all well and fine, but I should tell mine. Not my fault if I make more sense.
patsox834
Posts: 406
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9/27/2009 10:24:57 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 9:44:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
At 9/27/2009 9:33:43 PM, patsox834 wrote:
At 9/27/2009 4:47:59 PM, Volkov wrote:
The last time a Jehovah's Witness came to my door, I missed the opportunity t discredit and destroy their beliefs. Not saying I would have been successful, but I wanted to at least try.

Why?

Why not?

1: the blatant hypocrisy.

2: what they believe is their business. Yeah, they're proselytizing, but going down to their level makes you just as bad as them.

3: you are, in essence, fighting fire with fire, which only creates more fire.
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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9/27/2009 10:54:18 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 10:24:57 PM, patsox834 wrote:
1: the blatant hypocrisy.

How is it hypocritical? I've never stated that I can't "fight fire with fire."

2: what they believe is their business. Yeah, they're proselytizing, but going down to their level makes you just as bad as them.

Except I'm not wandering up to their homes and knocking on their doors. They came to me, and there isn't no reason why I shouldn't question them as they do me.

3: you are, in essence, fighting fire with fire, which only creates more fire.

As Puck stated, we can roast some marshmellows.
leet4A1
Posts: 1,986
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9/27/2009 11:00:48 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Pretend to be a Pastafarian, get out your copy of the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and explain to them how it is a far more rational belief system than their own.
"Let me tell you the truth. The truth is, 'what is'. And 'what should be' is a fantasy, a terrible terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago. The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is." - Lenny Bruce

"Satan goes to church, did you know that?" - Godsands

"And Genisis 1 does match modern science... you just have to try really hard." - GR33K FR33K5
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/28/2009 1:07:56 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
I feel deprived... I've never seen them! I wouldn't know what to do if I did. I'm not scared of telling them I'm an atheist; however, I don't feel like hearing any of their crap either. I might just say "No thanks" and be polite. I'm not that much of a kunt, despite what you may assume :P
President of DDO
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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9/28/2009 3:26:09 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
I remember canvassing voters prior to the last election. I knocked on one door and the man that answered said that he was a Jehovah's Witness and God would decide his fate.

I explained that God wasn't standing for election in his constituency and showed him the list of candidates to prove it - and so the argument went on and on.

Eventually, he tried to c;lose the door on me but I put my foot in the entrance so he couldn't. I guess that evening he got a taste of his own medicine!
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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9/28/2009 5:49:41 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 1:07:56 AM, theLwerd wrote:
I feel deprived... I've never seen them! I wouldn't know what to do if I did. I'm not scared of telling them I'm an atheist; however, I don't feel like hearing any of their crap either. I might just say "No thanks" and be polite. I'm not that much of a kunt, despite what you may assume :P

Reported. (other DDO members please do likewise, thank you.)
The Cross.. the Cross.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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9/28/2009 5:53:27 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 3:55:42 PM, Nags wrote:
It is that time of year again- The Jehovahs will soon be coming around to knock your doors down and try to give you a Bible so you will pay them lots of $$$. Anyway, if my parents aren't home when the Jehovahs come around I'm thinking of doing something lolworthy to them. Anybody have suggestions? Does anyone have any stories about their personal interactions with Jehovahs?

Moar:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com...

They are NOT Christians.
Just do half an hours research into their founder Josepth Smith and you will be armed with enough information to reduce even the most ardent cult member to a blithering rage/tears.
The Cross.. the Cross.
brittwaller
Posts: 331
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9/28/2009 6:34:07 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Interestingly, I was raised as a JW (j-dub) until I was about 17, which is when I discovered that pvssy>god ;) I was "disfellowshipped" (excommunicated) and later declared an apostate, a moniker I wear proudly to this day.

I have so many stories it's ridiculous.

I will only tell my favourite. In early 2007 I had to be comatized because I was having grand mal seizures every five minutes, dangerously high heart rate, etc. I was having what's known as staticus epilepticus. I was in the induced coma for nearly a month, and in ICU for another two weeks after that.
At the time, I was living with my mother and step-father, both of whom were "upstanding" j-dubs, but also upstanding individuals because they acknowledged my existence when I spoke to them, unlike the VAST majority of my childhood friends and the rest of my family. While I was in the coma, my step-father died, and the doctors told my mother that I would be a vegetable for the reat of my life. Needless to say she was under no mean amount of emotional stress at the time.
Finally I am able to return home. The first thing I notice when I walked (well, i had atrophy so it was more like rolled) in the house was that a lot of the books from my personal library (scattered throughout the house on different shelves) was missing. I ask my mom "Where are all of my fv(king books?"
Well, as I slept, the "elders" (pastors) came to our house and decided to "cleanse" it of any demonic influences that I may have brought with me. This included the destruction of a great many books, mostly on evolution and sex (of which I owned a great many) but also the random books that had to have been chosen simply for their titles (like Sagan's "A Demon-Haunted World" lol, which they thought was a book on spiritism and demonology). Besides the books they also discarded original artwork of mine and original writings in about three journals.
My mother had been on Xanax to deal with the stress of the situation, prescribed of course, but not being a drug-user a football really put her out of it. They had come and asked permission, while my mom was not in her right mind.
I, of course, wanted to sue - destruction of property, invasion of privacy, defamation of character (because I owned a book about "demons," I was obviously a Satanist, duh) and whatever else I could think of. Of course, my mother still being a j-dub made this extremely difficult, as she said that even she (though she didn't agree with their actions either) would not be able to associate with me if I went through with any kind of legal action. "You would rather me firebomb them?" I asked.
So basically I had no recourse. I go out of my way to be nice to them if I see them in public; I always invite them in if they knock on my door - and proceed to destroy their world. (Note: This will only work one time per residence, as the j-dubs will mark your address "do not call on again" after you confront them.) If you want them to come to your house, specifically to destroy worlds, simply go to the watchtower website and request a bible study. They will be a-comin, I guarantee.

The hypocrisy is clear (and had been clear for a long time, to me) in an organization that constantly touts its contributions to "civil rights" destroying books and art it doesn't agree with.

That, of course, is only the tip of the iceberg. As my entire family from birth are a part of them, my issues with j-dubs range far and wide. Lots of long stories.

They all lead to my attitude toward them: pure bitter vitriol (now in cans!). Whereas I think that most religionists, in general from the mainsteam religions, are idiots, my opinion of j-dubs is somewhat lower, to say the least. It's not that I don't care what happens to them (in particular the ones that did me violence), I actually hope they die slow and painful deaths. It's the "I wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire" kind of hatred.

Rational? Maybe not. Deserved? Completely.

Britt
Don't I take care of them all?
brittwaller
Posts: 331
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9/28/2009 6:36:56 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 5:53:27 AM, DATCMOTO wrote:
At 9/27/2009 3:55:42 PM, Nags wrote:
It is that time of year again- The Jehovahs will soon be coming around to knock your doors down and try to give you a Bible so you will pay them lots of $$$. Anyway, if my parents aren't home when the Jehovahs come around I'm thinking of doing something lolworthy to them. Anybody have suggestions? Does anyone have any stories about their personal interactions with Jehovahs?

Moar:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com...

They are NOT Christians.
Just do half an hours research into their founder Josepth Smith and you will be armed with enough information to reduce even the most ardent cult member to a blithering rage/tears.

Jesus freakin Christ you are retarded. Joseph Smith founded Mormons, Charles Russell founded the Watchtower Society. Go masturbate until you have something useful to add.
Don't I take care of them all?
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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9/28/2009 7:09:08 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 6:36:56 AM, brittwaller wrote:
At 9/28/2009 5:53:27 AM, DATCMOTO wrote:
At 9/27/2009 3:55:42 PM, Nags wrote:
It is that time of year again- The Jehovahs will soon be coming around to knock your doors down and try to give you a Bible so you will pay them lots of $$$. Anyway, if my parents aren't home when the Jehovahs come around I'm thinking of doing something lolworthy to them. Anybody have suggestions? Does anyone have any stories about their personal interactions with Jehovahs?

Moar:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com...

They are NOT Christians.
Just do half an hours research into their founder Josepth Smith and you will be armed with enough information to reduce even the most ardent cult member to a blithering rage/tears.

Jesus freakin Christ you are retarded. Joseph Smith founded Mormons, Charles Russell founded the Watchtower Society. Go masturbate until you have something useful to add.

Even the best of us make little mistakes, It's a lot of work maintaining this forum you know!
Thanks for your previous post, I enjoyed it.
I'll have to report this one though I'm afraid.
The Cross.. the Cross.
brittwaller
Posts: 331
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9/28/2009 7:16:56 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Like I said, come back when you have something useful (start with correct) to add. The thread is getting off-topic, and this is a subject that I have a vested interest in.
Don't I take care of them all?
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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9/28/2009 7:24:35 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 7:16:56 AM, brittwaller wrote:
Like I said, come back when you have something useful (start with correct) to add. The thread is getting off-topic, and this is a subject that I have a vested interest in.

If only you had a minuscule piece of power to implement your suggestion you wouldn't be completely wasting your breath.
The Cross.. the Cross.
Floid
Posts: 751
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9/28/2009 7:29:28 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
If only you had a minuscule piece of power to implement your suggestion you wouldn't be completely wasting your breath.

Interpretation: If I, DATCMOTO, didn't spam every single topic in the religion forum your suggestion might be meaningful. However, I have no plans of stopping so to suggest that topics are important on this message board is a waste of time because I will post the same ignorant ideas irregardless of their applicability to the topic at hand.
patsox834
Posts: 406
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9/28/2009 8:08:44 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/27/2009 10:54:18 PM, Volkov wrote:
At 9/27/2009 10:24:57 PM, patsox834 wrote:
1: the blatant hypocrisy.

How is it hypocritical? I've never stated that I can't "fight fire with fire."

You're obviously not a fan of them shoving beliefs down your throat and trying to convert you, so...

Except I'm not wandering up to their homes and knocking on their doors. They came to me, and there isn't no reason why I shouldn't question them as they do me.

I gave you three reasons...? And regardless of whether they knock on your door, you're still going down to their level. Really, the bit you responded to addresses this -- they are proselytizing, yes -- that's obvious, but responding to them by attempting to "destroy" their beliefs isn't at all any better than them trying to convert you.
JBlake
Posts: 4,634
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9/28/2009 8:16:45 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Wow, Britt Waller, that is a harsh story. They came and attacked you at your weakest. And for what? Did they expect you would convert back to their religion if they just destroyed all of your property?
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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9/28/2009 8:19:07 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 7:29:28 AM, Floid wrote:
If only you had a minuscule piece of power to implement your suggestion you wouldn't be completely wasting your breath.


Interpretation: If I, DATCMOTO, didn't spam every single topic in the religion forum your suggestion might be meaningful. However, I have no plans of stopping so to suggest that topics are important on this message board is a waste of time because I will post the same ignorant ideas irregardless of their applicability to the topic at hand.

On the contrary, I do not spam I contribute the Christian position: Rejecting Christ is everyones right BUT, I for one, do not want ANYONE to reject Him in ignorance.
The Cross.. the Cross.
brittwaller
Posts: 331
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9/28/2009 9:41:28 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
So the Christian position is.... video of tumbleweed? I think it was better (not by much) when they were using the bible.

I kind of doubt it, JBlake. As I am not *just* disfellowshipped but an "apostate," this was more like a surgical, personal strike. Like I said, my family has a lot history with "the Society" (as j-dubs call the Watchtower Organization) so there are some parts of that which play into this little opera. Soap opera is better I think. So I doubt they expected anything other than angering me, which they succeeded in. My issue (beyond innumerable civil rights violations) is that I can do without these people; I never really tried to bother them after I left. But it is they that keep bothering me. As to why I do not know.

Death wish, perhaps?
Don't I take care of them all?
brittwaller
Posts: 331
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9/28/2009 9:59:25 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 9/28/2009 8:08:44 AM, patsox834 wrote:
At 9/27/2009 10:54:18 PM, Volkov wrote:
At 9/27/2009 10:24:57 PM, patsox834 wrote:
1: the blatant hypocrisy.

How is it hypocritical? I've never stated that I can't "fight fire with fire."

You're obviously not a fan of them shoving beliefs down your throat and trying to convert you, so...


Except I'm not wandering up to their homes and knocking on their doors. They came to me, and there isn't no reason why I shouldn't question them as they do me.

I gave you three reasons...? And regardless of whether they knock on your door, you're still going down to their level. Really, the bit you responded to addresses this -- they are proselytizing, yes -- that's obvious, but responding to them by attempting to "destroy" their beliefs isn't at all any better than them trying to convert you.

1. It's impossible to get to that level unless you are a j-dub.
2. Destroying their beliefs is better than them trying to convert you.

It's funny because as a child/young teen I went "out in service" every Saturday morning, and then later I even "Poineered" (which is when a person pledges a certain minimum of hours in the field ministry - 60, 90, or 120 a month.) I had people pull out guns on me and my "service buddy," got cussed out, chased with brooms... you get the idea. And these people were other sects of Christians.

Rural Alabama
brittwaller: "Hello sir, my name is Britt and this is my friend Blago. We are going from door to door today in your neighborhoood offering free copies of two Bible-based magazines-"
Resident: "What church are you with?"
brittwaller: "We are part of Jehovah's Wit-"
Resident: "Get the hell off my property now! Before I call the police about you trespassing and harassing me! I got my own God and that's Jesus and his Father, I don't know nuthin and don't wanna know nuthin about this 'Jehovah' fella!"

Happened a hundred times at least. No one ever actually tried to talk to us in a rational manner about why they thoght we were wrong. So I encourage the destruction of their beliefs - if you get lucky, you may find a young one and plant the seeds of reason from one conversation. You never know.

Britt
Don't I take care of them all?
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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9/28/2009 3:06:18 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
The Jehovah's witnesses are basically good people (well the ones I have met) they are not doing any harm and I've often chatted with them.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.