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Ramshutuland

Ramshutu
Posts: 4,063
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12/19/2012 3:01:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
My name is Ramshutu and I am the ruler of Ramshutuland. I think I am a just, merciful and loving leader. I love every single person who lives in my country without exception, even the criminals.

In fact, I love them so much that I sent my son among the people to try and convince them at just how merciful, just and loving I am. My people are a rebellious lot, so they nailed him to a peice of wood; I half expected this (as I'm pretty smart), so it just goes to show how much I love my people.

I rule Ramshutuland fairly. I do not delegate any responsibility in running the country and comprehensively micro manage almost every aspect of Ramshutuland.

I like to think of myself as a benevolent ruler too. I give everyone the magical gift of life by not slaughtering them. I am ashamed to say that I'm a bit of an indian giver though. For instance, sometimes I will kill someone who deserves it; on a whim. Sometimes I will kill a bunch of people who don't deserve it too. Hell, sometimes when I'm bored I kill my people by the thousands. Of course these are "Natural disasters", and "Natural causes," if you read the Ramshutuland times; but don't worry, it's all part of the greater plan, there is a meaningful reason for me to kill millions. Trust me.

What I am proud of, however, is Ramshutulands unique criminal justice system. Firstly, I am the judge, jury and executioner. Which is good because I'm the only one smart enough to know what's going on. It does, however, become a drag on my time. I've tailored the law because of this, though, to make it easier for me to judge and punish people. Firstly, there is only one punishment, which is torture for an indefinite period. Secondly, and I'm personally proud of this, every single person in the country is guilty of a crime. This makes it far easier to judge and punish people. Everyone is guilty, everyone deserves indefinite torture.

This being said though, I will show mercy, and forgiveness. Sometimes I will not torture and kill someone whom I judge, but in order for this to happen then person must have done something for me first.

In order to avoid torture and death, you have to hail me as the absolute ruler and master of you, your life, and this country. You have to beleive I can do no wrong and never question me. You have to accept me into your life as your guide, your master and the one and only ruler in the land. If you don't, you will be slowly and painfully tortured over the period of years and eventually ignominously killed.

This applies to everyone; I will, eventually, get around to judging everyone, and you are either with me or against me. If you are against me, you will get tortured and killed.

Just to keep my citizens honest and make sure that they worship me out of love, rather than out of necessity (I don't want people to be afraid of me!) I don't actually explicitly tell the residents of Ramshutuland that this is what they have to do. I make no announcements telling them to hail me as the one and only ruler. If I did that people would hail me out of fear rather than thinking that I was really the one and only super ruler that I am. The way I let my citizens know is through a couple of subjective mentions in a book I wrote just after I came to power. The book is flakey and doesn't make sense a lot of the time; but if they read it carefully enough and interpret it in just the right way, then they'll know what they have to do.

People often claim that I'm not just, merciful or loving for torturing my own people like i do, but please be fair to me. Firstly, I'm not doing the torturing; this I delegate to other people. Secondly, it's free will. I've shown these people exactly how to not get tortured, it's up to them whether to accept me or not. If they don't accept me as their absolute overlord, then they have chosen torture. It's their own fault, not mine. I still love them.

If you do truly accept me (and I can tell), you'll get to be a member of the elite ruling class. You won't have any real power, but you'll never go hungry, get to do pretty much whatever you want, and generally have a damned good time!

Now, I don't know you, but I beleive I'm worthy of praise and worship from my people; and from the rest of the world. I am benevolent, loving, merciful and very just. I just don't get people who call me names, or accuse me of being a hideous, brutal dictator.

I don't understand it, yes, I torture people for not accepting me. Yes, I randomly kill my citizens for no reasons even when they don't deserve it. Yes, I have imposed a criminal justice system that asserts that everyone deserves to die. But to be fair, it's my country and I don't have to answer to my citizens; also, it's not like they don't have a choice in the matter, they bring it on themselves.

So as you can see, I'm the most perfect ruler in the land. I am infinitely Just, I am infinitely Merciful and I am infinitely Loving.
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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12/19/2012 4:13:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/19/2012 3:01:06 PM, Ramshutu wrote:
My name is Ramshutu and I am the ruler of Ramshutuland. I think I am a just, merciful and loving leader. I love every single person who lives in my country without exception, even the criminals.

In fact, I love them so much that I sent my son among the people to try and convince them at just how merciful, just and loving I am. My people are a rebellious lot, so they nailed him to a peice of wood; I half expected this (as I'm pretty smart), so it just goes to show how much I love my people.

I rule Ramshutuland fairly. I do not delegate any responsibility in running the country and comprehensively micro manage almost every aspect of Ramshutuland.

I like to think of myself as a benevolent ruler too. I give everyone the magical gift of life by not slaughtering them. I am ashamed to say that I'm a bit of an indian giver though. For instance, sometimes I will kill someone who deserves it; on a whim. Sometimes I will kill a bunch of people who don't deserve it too. Hell, sometimes when I'm bored I kill my people by the thousands. Of course these are "Natural disasters", and "Natural causes," if you read the Ramshutuland times; but don't worry, it's all part of the greater plan, there is a meaningful reason for me to kill millions. Trust me.

What I am proud of, however, is Ramshutulands unique criminal justice system. Firstly, I am the judge, jury and executioner. Which is good because I'm the only one smart enough to know what's going on. It does, however, become a drag on my time. I've tailored the law because of this, though, to make it easier for me to judge and punish people. Firstly, there is only one punishment, which is torture for an indefinite period. Secondly, and I'm personally proud of this, every single person in the country is guilty of a crime. This makes it far easier to judge and punish people. Everyone is guilty, everyone deserves indefinite torture.

This being said though, I will show mercy, and forgiveness. Sometimes I will not torture and kill someone whom I judge, but in order for this to happen then person must have done something for me first.

In order to avoid torture and death, you have to hail me as the absolute ruler and master of you, your life, and this country. You have to beleive I can do no wrong and never question me. You have to accept me into your life as your guide, your master and the one and only ruler in the land. If you don't, you will be slowly and painfully tortured over the period of years and eventually ignominously killed.

This applies to everyone; I will, eventually, get around to judging everyone, and you are either with me or against me. If you are against me, you will get tortured and killed.

Just to keep my citizens honest and make sure that they worship me out of love, rather than out of necessity (I don't want people to be afraid of me!) I don't actually explicitly tell the residents of Ramshutuland that this is what they have to do. I make no announcements telling them to hail me as the one and only ruler. If I did that people would hail me out of fear rather than thinking that I was really the one and only super ruler that I am. The way I let my citizens know is through a couple of subjective mentions in a book I wrote just after I came to power. The book is flakey and doesn't make sense a lot of the time; but if they read it carefully enough and interpret it in just the right way, then they'll know what they have to do.

People often claim that I'm not just, merciful or loving for torturing my own people like i do, but please be fair to me. Firstly, I'm not doing the torturing; this I delegate to other people. Secondly, it's free will. I've shown these people exactly how to not get tortured, it's up to them whether to accept me or not. If they don't accept me as their absolute overlord, then they have chosen torture. It's their own fault, not mine. I still love them.

If you do truly accept me (and I can tell), you'll get to be a member of the elite ruling class. You won't have any real power, but you'll never go hungry, get to do pretty much whatever you want, and generally have a damned good time!

Now, I don't know you, but I beleive I'm worthy of praise and worship from my people; and from the rest of the world. I am benevolent, loving, merciful and very just. I just don't get people who call me names, or accuse me of being a hideous, brutal dictator.

I don't understand it, yes, I torture people for not accepting me. Yes, I randomly kill my citizens for no reasons even when they don't deserve it. Yes, I have imposed a criminal justice system that asserts that everyone deserves to die. But to be fair, it's my country and I don't have to answer to my citizens; also, it's not like they don't have a choice in the matter, they bring it on themselves.

So as you can see, I'm the most perfect ruler in the land. I am infinitely Just, I am infinitely Merciful and I am infinitely Loving.

Too bad you had to wait for God to create the universe, as well as the planet that your kingdom is on, and had to wait for Him to create the lives that would be your citizens. I'd say you pretty much suck at trying to sell yourself as a god, so maybe you should humbly beg forgiveness from the true omnipotent, omniscient, creator God. Only then will you be truly fit to lead other human beings.
GOD-vs-ITSELF
Posts: 274
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12/20/2012 1:17:26 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/19/2012 3:01:06 PM, Ramshutu wrote:
My name is Ramshutu and I am the ruler of Ramshutuland. I think I am a just, merciful and loving leader. I love every single person who lives in my country without exception, even the criminals.

In fact, I love them so much that I sent my son among the people to try and convince them at just how merciful, just and loving I am. My people are a rebellious lot, so they nailed him to a peice of wood; I half expected this (as I'm pretty smart), so it just goes to show how much I love my people.

I rule Ramshutuland fairly. I do not delegate any responsibility in running the country and comprehensively micro manage almost every aspect of Ramshutuland.

I like to think of myself as a benevolent ruler too. I give everyone the magical gift of life by not slaughtering them. I am ashamed to say that I'm a bit of an indian giver though. For instance, sometimes I will kill someone who deserves it; on a whim. Sometimes I will kill a bunch of people who don't deserve it too. Hell, sometimes when I'm bored I kill my people by the thousands. Of course these are "Natural disasters", and "Natural causes," if you read the Ramshutuland times; but don't worry, it's all part of the greater plan, there is a meaningful reason for me to kill millions. Trust me.

What I am proud of, however, is Ramshutulands unique criminal justice system. Firstly, I am the judge, jury and executioner. Which is good because I'm the only one smart enough to know what's going on. It does, however, become a drag on my time. I've tailored the law because of this, though, to make it easier for me to judge and punish people. Firstly, there is only one punishment, which is torture for an indefinite period. Secondly, and I'm personally proud of this, every single person in the country is guilty of a crime. This makes it far easier to judge and punish people. Everyone is guilty, everyone deserves indefinite torture.

This being said though, I will show mercy, and forgiveness. Sometimes I will not torture and kill someone whom I judge, but in order for this to happen then person must have done something for me first.

In order to avoid torture and death, you have to hail me as the absolute ruler and master of you, your life, and this country. You have to beleive I can do no wrong and never question me. You have to accept me into your life as your guide, your master and the one and only ruler in the land. If you don't, you will be slowly and painfully tortured over the period of years and eventually ignominously killed.

This applies to everyone; I will, eventually, get around to judging everyone, and you are either with me or against me. If you are against me, you will get tortured and killed.

Just to keep my citizens honest and make sure that they worship me out of love, rather than out of necessity (I don't want people to be afraid of me!) I don't actually explicitly tell the residents of Ramshutuland that this is what they have to do. I make no announcements telling them to hail me as the one and only ruler. If I did that people would hail me out of fear rather than thinking that I was really the one and only super ruler that I am. The way I let my citizens know is through a couple of subjective mentions in a book I wrote just after I came to power. The book is flakey and doesn't make sense a lot of the time; but if they read it carefully enough and interpret it in just the right way, then they'll know what they have to do.

People often claim that I'm not just, merciful or loving for torturing my own people like i do, but please be fair to me. Firstly, I'm not doing the torturing; this I delegate to other people. Secondly, it's free will. I've shown these people exactly how to not get tortured, it's up to them whether to accept me or not. If they don't accept me as their absolute overlord, then they have chosen torture. It's their own fault, not mine. I still love them.

If you do truly accept me (and I can tell), you'll get to be a member of the elite ruling class. You won't have any real power, but you'll never go hungry, get to do pretty much whatever you want, and generally have a damned good time!

Now, I don't know you, but I beleive I'm worthy of praise and worship from my people; and from the rest of the world. I am benevolent, loving, merciful and very just. I just don't get people who call me names, or accuse me of being a hideous, brutal dictator.

I don't understand it, yes, I torture people for not accepting me. Yes, I randomly kill my citizens for no reasons even when they don't deserve it. Yes, I have imposed a criminal justice system that asserts that everyone deserves to die. But to be fair, it's my country and I don't have to answer to my citizens; also, it's not like they don't have a choice in the matter, they bring it on themselves.

So as you can see, I'm the most perfect ruler in the land. I am infinitely Just, I am infinitely Merciful and I am infinitely Loving.

I don't know about this place I didn't hear of the chance of being impregnated by a deity, it has to be a deity as I am a man, and not sure about kids financially lol.

People will say it's an inaccurate portrayal but that will be about the depth of their criticism.
If You Believe In Free Will, Then Don't Picture A Hippo For One Minute. Starting NOW