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Top Ten Reasons Sidewalker Should be Pope

Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
As you know from my announcement earlier, I"ve decided to run for Pope, and since I"m not Catholic, I"m running as an independent.

As promised in my announcement, I am following up with a brief point by point review of the platform I"m running on. Here are the top ten reasons I should be the next Pope.

10) I"ll abolish the celibacy thing right away, so I already have all the Priest votes.

9) I"m not Catholic, but I"ll redefine Catholicism so that I am Catholic, along with a lot of other people, so the church will grow like wildfire.

8) Since he"ll be Catholic too, I"ll make Mohandas Gandhi a Saint, we"ll call him Saint Mahatma.

7) After I redefine Catholicism, Pat Buchanan, David Ben Ariel, Fred Phelps, and everyone in the Westboro Baptist Church will be Catholic too, and I"ll excommunicate them all.

6) I"ll proclaim human evolution to be a fact and declare a Holy War on the ICR, literally translating Genesis will be punishable by death.

5) Alright already, Women Priests"and a Temptress, even Sidewalkerism doesn"t have both.

4) I"ll bring the considerable power of the Church to bear and force DDO to make it against community standards to start a thread about abortion or creationism.

3) No more funny hat and we"ll add a wet bar to the Pope Mobile.

2) Good Friday will become GREAT Friday, and it will last a month.

And the number one reason I should be the next Pope.

1) Tantric Catholicism!

Thanks for your support.
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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2/11/2013 7:08:10 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
As you know from my announcement earlier, I"ve decided to run for Pope, and since I"m not Catholic, I"m running as an independent.

As promised in my announcement, I am following up with a brief point by point review of the platform I"m running on. Here are the top ten reasons I should be the next Pope.


10) I"ll abolish the celibacy thing right away, so I already have all the Priest votes.

9) I"m not Catholic, but I"ll redefine Catholicism so that I am Catholic, along with a lot of other people, so the church will grow like wildfire.

8) Since he"ll be Catholic too, I"ll make Mohandas Gandhi a Saint, we"ll call him Saint Mahatma.

7) After I redefine Catholicism, Pat Buchanan, David Ben Ariel, Fred Phelps, and everyone in the Westboro Baptist Church will be Catholic too, and I"ll excommunicate them all.

6) I"ll proclaim human evolution to be a fact and declare a Holy War on the ICR, literally translating Genesis will be punishable by death.

5) Alright already, Women Priests"and a Temptress, even Sidewalkerism doesn"t have both.

4) I"ll bring the considerable power of the Church to bear and force DDO to make it against community standards to start a thread about abortion or creationism.

3) No more funny hat and we"ll add a wet bar to the Pope Mobile.

2) Good Friday will become GREAT Friday, and it will last a month.

And the number one reason I should be the next Pope.

1) Tantric Catholicism!


Thanks for your support.

You got my vote.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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2/11/2013 7:24:49 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
If Jews can be Catholic, I'm in.
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/11/2013 7:46:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 7:24:49 PM, MouthWash wrote:
If Jews can be Catholic, I'm in.

Can Jews be Catholic, are you kidding? It was your sacred Book we ripped off in the first place, and every single author of the New Testament was Jewish, Jesus was a Jew even, of course Jews can be Catholic, when I'm Pope everybody gets to be Catholic.

The word catholic means universal, when I'm Pope, Catholicism will be pluralistic, very pluralistic.
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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2/11/2013 8:59:38 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 7:46:51 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
At 2/11/2013 7:24:49 PM, MouthWash wrote:
If Jews can be Catholic, I'm in.

Can Jews be Catholic, are you kidding? It was your sacred Book we ripped off in the first place, and every single author of the New Testament was Jewish, Jesus was a Jew even, of course Jews can be Catholic, when I'm Pope everybody gets to be Catholic.

The word catholic means universal, when I'm Pope, Catholicism will be pluralistic, very pluralistic.

Is it possible to be an atheist, socialist, zionist, muslim, hindu, buddhist, communist, catholic?
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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2/11/2013 9:07:55 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
sigged
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Polaris
Posts: 1,120
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2/11/2013 9:09:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
8) Since he"ll be Catholic too, I"ll make Mohandas Gandhi a Saint, we"ll call him Saint Mahatma.

But isn't 'Mahatma' the Sanskrit equivalent of 'Saint' already? Wouldn't that just make him St. Saint?
medic0506
Posts: 13,450
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2/11/2013 10:08:40 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
As you know from my announcement earlier, I"ve decided to run for Pope, and since I"m not Catholic, I"m running as an independent.

As promised in my announcement, I am following up with a brief point by point review of the platform I"m running on. Here are the top ten reasons I should be the next Pope.


10) I"ll abolish the celibacy thing right away, so I already have all the Priest votes.

9) I"m not Catholic, but I"ll redefine Catholicism so that I am Catholic, along with a lot of other people, so the church will grow like wildfire.

8) Since he"ll be Catholic too, I"ll make Mohandas Gandhi a Saint, we"ll call him Saint Mahatma.

7) After I redefine Catholicism, Pat Buchanan, David Ben Ariel, Fred Phelps, and everyone in the Westboro Baptist Church will be Catholic too, and I"ll excommunicate them all.

6) I"ll proclaim human evolution to be a fact and declare a Holy War on the ICR, literally translating Genesis will be punishable by death.

5) Alright already, Women Priests"and a Temptress, even Sidewalkerism doesn"t have both.

4) I"ll bring the considerable power of the Church to bear and force DDO to make it against community standards to start a thread about abortion or creationism.

3) No more funny hat and we"ll add a wet bar to the Pope Mobile.

2) Good Friday will become GREAT Friday, and it will last a month.

And the number one reason I should be the next Pope.

1) Tantric Catholicism!


Thanks for your support.

Oops...I clicked on the wrong thread. I thought it said pope but clearly by pope, you meant anti-christ. My bad. :)
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/11/2013 10:18:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 9:09:20 PM, Polaris wrote:
At 2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
8) Since he"ll be Catholic too, I"ll make Mohandas Gandhi a Saint, we"ll call him Saint Mahatma.

But isn't 'Mahatma' the Sanskrit equivalent of 'Saint' already? Wouldn't that just make him St. Saint?

It's closer to Great Soul, so he will be Saint Great Soul, the second Tuesday in April will be declared Gandhi Day and it will be a day of non-cooperation.
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
1Devilsadvocate
Posts: 1,518
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2/12/2013 12:51:16 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 7:46:51 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
At 2/11/2013 7:24:49 PM, MouthWash wrote:
If Jews can be Catholic, I'm in.

Can Jews be Catholic, are you kidding? It was your sacred Book we ripped off in the first place, and every single author of the New Testament was Jewish, Jesus was a Jew even, of course Jews can be Catholic, when I'm Pope everybody gets to be Catholic.

The word catholic means universal, when I'm Pope, Catholicism will be pluralistic, very pluralistic.

http://en.wikipedia.org...
Aaron Lustiger was born to Jewish parents.
He became French cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church. & Archbishop of Paris from 1981 until his resignation in 2005. He was created cardinal in 1983 by Pope John Paul II.

His epitaph, which he wrote himself in 2004, reads:
I was born Jewish.
I received the name
Of my paternal grandfather, Aaron
Having become Christian
By faith and by Baptism,
I have remained Jewish
As did the Apostles.
I have as my patron saints
Aaron the High Priest,
Saint John the Apostle,
Holy Mary full of grace.
Named 139th archbishop of Paris
by His Holiness Pope John Paul II,
I was enthroned in this Cathedral
on 27 February 1981,
And here I exercised my entire ministry.
Passers-by, pray for me.
" Aaron Jean-Marie Cardinal Lustiger
Archbishop of Paris
I cannot write in English, because of the treacherous spelling. When I am reading, I only hear it and am unable to remember what the written word looks like."
"Albert Einstein

http://www.twainquotes.com... , http://thewritecorner.wordpress.com... , http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com...
AlwaysMoreThanYou
Posts: 2,900
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2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.
'When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.' - John 16:13
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/12/2013 3:54:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

Don't be silly, I already have the priest vote, I have Tantric Catholicism, face it, you have no chance.

Plus, I understand there's about to be quite a scandal about AmwaysMoreThanYou, interesting things have already cropped up about your not so secret past....I'm not giving details just yet, but trust me folks, it's really sordid, disgusting even, forget this heathen.

Sidewalker for Pope!!!
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/12/2013 4:10:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 10:08:40 PM, medic0506 wrote:
At 2/11/2013 6:28:34 PM, Sidewalker wrote:

Thanks for your support.

Oops...I clicked on the wrong thread. I thought it said pope but clearly by pope, you meant anti-christ. My bad. :)

Really?

Knowing that in the not too distant future I will be able to excommunicate you all the way to Pluto if I want, are you really gonna start with ME ? Really?

That just isn't a smart thing to do medic.

If you don't believe me, just wait till you see the AlwaysMoreThanYou scandal that's coming, it's horrible, horrible I tell you, and I think you'll think twice about messing with Pope Sidewalker after that hits the press.

If you know what's good for you, you won't tick off Pope Sidewalker.
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
AlwaysMoreThanYou
Posts: 2,900
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2/13/2013 8:42:38 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/12/2013 3:54:48 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

Don't be silly, I already have the priest vote, I have Tantric Catholicism, face it, you have no chance.

Only Cardinals count, and I've literally got them in my literal pocket.

Plus, I understand there's about to be quite a scandal about AmwaysMoreThanYou, interesting things have already cropped up about your not so secret past....I'm not giving details just yet, but trust me folks, it's really sordid, disgusting even, forget this heathen.

I feel quite bad for this "AmwaysMoreThanYou"... Good thing I have never associated with him and will thus be untainted by the fallout from any such scandals.

Sidewalker for Pope!!!

Sidewalker is a heretic, and as the Sedevacantists will gleefully announce, a heretic cannot be Pope.
'When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.' - John 16:13
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/13/2013 9:17:36 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

I though Dogknox?

Are you running the Knoxian branch now?
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
AlwaysMoreThanYou
Posts: 2,900
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2/13/2013 9:24:58 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/13/2013 9:17:36 AM, TheAntidoter wrote:
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

I though Dogknox?

Are you running the Knoxian branch now?

Dogknox has better things to do than be Pope. Such a menial role is almost an insult to his grandeur.
'When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.' - John 16:13
TheAntidoter
Posts: 4,323
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2/13/2013 9:27:04 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/13/2013 9:24:58 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
At 2/13/2013 9:17:36 AM, TheAntidoter wrote:
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

I though Dogknox?

Are you running the Knoxian branch now?

Dogknox has better things to do than be Pope. Such a menial role is almost an insult to his grandeur.

AH.
Affinity: Fire
Class: Human
Abilities: ????

Nac.

WOAH, COLORED FONT!
Sidewalker
Posts: 3,713
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2/13/2013 3:29:25 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/13/2013 8:42:38 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
At 2/12/2013 3:54:48 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
At 2/12/2013 11:04:10 AM, AlwaysMoreThanYou wrote:
Anathema. anathema.

I am a shoo-in for next Pope, and I will not have you jepordizing my election.

Don't be silly, I already have the priest vote, I have Tantric Catholicism, face it, you have no chance.

Only Cardinals count, and I've literally got them in my literal pocket.

Plus, I understand there's about to be quite a scandal about AlwaysMoreThanYou, interesting things have already cropped up about your not so secret past....I'm not giving details just yet, but trust me folks, it's really sordid, disgusting even, forget this heathen.

I feel quite bad for this "AlwaysMoreThanYou"... Good thing I have never associated with him and will thus be untainted by the fallout from any such scandals.

You know darn well that was a typo, (in fact, what typo?) face it, you can't hide from your sordid past forever AlwaysMoreThanYou, you know those horrific things you did would catch up to you some day.

Sidewalker for Pope!!!

Sidewalker is a heretic, and as the Sedevacantists will gleefully announce, a heretic cannot be Pope.

Yeah, like they matter, you want to talk anathema, that's who they are, anathema is their middle name. They don't even vote for Pope for crying out loud, and how many are there now, a hundred, two hundred, if you think the Sedevacantists can stop me you're more insane than I thought you were.

And even if they did matter, when the scandal breaks, do you really think they'd vote for you after the hideous unspeakable things you did? No way.

Get real.

Sidewalker for Pope!!!
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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2/13/2013 8:50:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/11/2013 9:45:48 PM, FREEDO wrote:
You had me until "No more funny hat".

This is a deal breaker for me as well.
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Sidewalker
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2/14/2013 8:03:13 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/13/2013 8:50:19 PM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 2/11/2013 9:45:48 PM, FREEDO wrote:
You had me until "No more funny hat".

This is a deal breaker for me as well.

I did not realize that funny hats were so important to so many and I do in fact want to be a good Pope that represents my constituencies interests.

Therefore, when I am Pope I will institute a religious order of Catholicism formally called "The Society of Funny Hats", members of the order will be easily recognizable by their funny hats and will be referred to as "Funnyhatsuits".

Sidewalker for Pope!!!
"It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive." " C. W. Leadbeater
AlwaysMoreThanYou
Posts: 2,900
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2/14/2013 4:25:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 2/13/2013 3:29:25 PM, Sidewalker wrote:
You know darn well that was a typo, (in fact, what typo?) face it, you can't hide from your sordid past forever AlwaysMoreThanYou, you know those horrific things you did would catch up to you some day.

No one cares about my sordid past. I've still got the literal Cardinals literally in my literal pocket. That'll give me the literal vote literally no matter what.

So stop mucking around. You haven't a chance.

Yeah, like they matter, you want to talk anathema, that's who they are, anathema is their middle name. They don't even vote for Pope for crying out loud, and how many are there now, a hundred, two hundred, if you think the Sedevacantists can stop me you're more insane than I thought you were.

They will merely be the bearers of the news that everyone already knows; you're a heretic and can't be Pope.

And even if they did matter, when the scandal breaks, do you really think they'd vote for you after the hideous unspeakable things you did? No way.

Since they are, ironically, most probably heretics, their votes don't really count either.

Get real.

Sidewalker for Pope!!!

Anathema.
'When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.' - John 16:13