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Religion and Relationships

Osiris
Posts: 265
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4/25/2013 10:42:18 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Me and some friends have been discussing this lately. How important is religion in a relationship and why? Also, what's your opinion on inter-faith relationships?
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire
Pennington
Posts: 1,286
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4/25/2013 10:58:10 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/25/2013 10:42:18 PM, Osiris wrote:
Me and some friends have been discussing this lately. How important is religion in a relationship and why?:

I do not know if religion per say is that important. Faith and belief is.

Also, what's your opinion on inter-faith relationships?
It is difficult. You will always have a difference there and sometimes it could be a separation cause. People are strong enough to get through those things but it is easier when you have someone who believes how you do.
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Radar
Posts: 424
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4/25/2013 11:02:57 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/25/2013 10:42:18 PM, Osiris wrote:
Me and some friends have been discussing this lately. How important is religion in a relationship and why? Also, what's your opinion on inter-faith relationships?

That depends on the couple. I've been an interfaith marriage for over 40 years without it being a problem, but it may not work for everyone.
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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4/25/2013 11:06:53 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Most of my girlfriends have been religious or spiritual.

So I have no problem dating them. But I do think I'd much grow tired being married to someone with too many differences between us.
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Osiris
Posts: 265
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4/25/2013 11:24:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Here is what my Christian friend said:

"It is important that the person I date/marry has the same beliefs as me because my faith and relationship with Christ is central to my identity. The person I am with cannot truly love me if Christ is not central to her identity and I am ineffective in loving her truly either. We need to be able to connect on the deepest part of who we are which is our identities in Christ Jesus. If I connected well with someone of a different faith, I wouldn't proceed because in some way, my faith might be compromised which is never a risk worth taking and she wouldn't ultimately help me follow Jesus more. My relationship with Jesus takes utmost priority over any relationship I have with someone. Being with someone of a different faith would be me saying that that relationship is more important than God's which is unacceptable."
"Common sense is not so common." -Voltaire
Pennington
Posts: 1,286
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4/26/2013 12:51:45 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/25/2013 11:24:56 PM, Osiris wrote:
Here is what my Christian friend said:

"It is important that the person I date/marry has the same beliefs as me because my faith and relationship with Christ is central to my identity. The person I am with cannot truly love me if Christ is not central to her identity and I am ineffective in loving her truly either. We need to be able to connect on the deepest part of who we are which is our identities in Christ Jesus. If I connected well with someone of a different faith, I wouldn't proceed because in some way, my faith might be compromised which is never a risk worth taking and she wouldn't ultimately help me follow Jesus more. My relationship with Jesus takes utmost priority over any relationship I have with someone. Being with someone of a different faith would be me saying that that relationship is more important than God's which is unacceptable."

That is all true stuff. Biblical doctrine informs us that we are the body of Christ and He is the Head of the Body. This represents the marriage of a man and woman. Man being the head of the household as Christ is the head of the marriage. We read that Christ will marry his bride. This goes back to Adam and Eve being joined by God as one flesh. The marriage of a man and woman represents that one body of Christ and His church.
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PureX
Posts: 1,528
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4/26/2013 8:24:01 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/25/2013 10:42:18 PM, Osiris wrote:
Me and some friends have been discussing this lately. How important is religion in a relationship and why? Also, what's your opinion on inter-faith relationships?

I think it very much depends on the religion. Some religions preach and practice intolerance, while others proclaim tolerance as a core tenet. It would be very wise to take note of how your potential partner thinks and feels regarding tolerance toward people with opposing ideals.

I believe that intolerance is a symptom of emotional and intellectual immaturity, and so would avoid entering into any kind of committed relationship with someone exhibiting those symptoms.
tdancetv2009
Posts: 1
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5/2/2013 12:09:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/25/2013 10:42:18 PM, Osiris wrote:
Me and some friends have been discussing this lately. How important is religion in a relationship and why? Also, what's your opinion on inter-faith relationships?

7 Ways To Make Interfaith Relationships Work

"People try to minimize the differences when they"re in love," says Joel Crohn, Ph.D., author of Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic and Interfaith Relationships. But dismissing the differences can be detrimental to a couple in the future. If you"re part of an interfaith relationship, you have an extra layer of diversity to deal with.

Crohn, who specializes in couples and family therapy, offers seven ideas for understanding these differences and helping interfaith relationships work.

1. Face the issues.
Again, the biggest problem facing interfaith couples is denying that differences actually exist. Even if you"re not that religious, differences can creep up in the future, Crohn says.

Also, in avoiding the differences dialogue, couples might make inaccurate assumptions about their partner"s religious preferences. (Interestingly, "people tend to become more religious with age," Crohn says.)
So he urges couples to face their issues head-on. The best time to talk? Now, Crohn says, is typically the best time. Avoidance won"t help the conflict go away.

2. Clarify your cultural code.
"People have trouble separating religion and culture," Crohn says. Even if religion isn"t a factor in your life or your relationship (e.g., you"re both agnostic), you still have a different cultural code than your partner. And these differences, he says, don"t disappear.

When thinking about your culture, consider: What"s normal in my family? What are my expectations for the relationship and a prospective family? How do we express our emotions? Then, talk about these cultural differences as a couple.

3. Clarify your identity.
Many interfaith couples will start negotiating what religion they want their kids to be, for instance, without having a clear idea of their own identity. It"s common for "members of minority groups in America"to have a complicated sense of their own identity," Crohn says. So self-exploration is key!

Crohn tells the story of an Italian Protestant woman who converted to Judaism. Her Jewish husband came home from work surprised to see her reading the Torah. He accused her of getting "carried away." In reality, this man wasn"t clear on what being Jewish meant to him.

Other clients have said to Crohn that "Being Jewish is important to me." But when he"s asked them what this means exactly, they"ll respond, "It just is." The problem? Individuals who have a vague sense of their religious identity "may push their partners to be something they can"t be." For instance, a non-Jewish partner can"t become "culturally Jewish."

To clarify your identity, Crohn suggests the following exercise: Think about your religious identity and your cultural identity when you were five years old, 12, 18 and today. Crohn suggests journaling your responses.

It"s typical for people to experience big changes at these time points. In fact, throughout your life, with both culture and religion, "there are usually big ups and downs, experimentation and rebellion," he says, "before settling on a stable sense of identity."
After thinking about your identity, it still might be hazy. Crohn says that this is OK. It"s "problematic when you"re negotiating for something you aren"t clear about."

4. Practice "unconditional experimentation."
It"s also not productive to negotiate "until you"ve exposed yourself to your partner"s religious practices," Crohn says. Doing so allows a greater understanding of your partner.

For instance, you might attend church or synagogue with your partner. This doesn"t mean that you"re making any promises, such as converting. But it does show that you take your relationship seriously, and you"re willing to learn more about what"s important to your partner.

5. Share your histories with each other.
Instead of forcing a decision (e.g., "we"ll have this type of wedding" or "our son will be raised Catholic"), Crohn encourages couples to discuss their religious and cultural experiences with each other. Not only does this take the pressure off, but it gives couples the opportunity to get to know each other better.

6. Consider a course.
Today, there are many courses for relationships, which can help couples resolve a variety of issues. One place to look is www.smartmarriages.com for a wide range of resources. Crohn cautions readers to be discerning consumers and to look for courses that are skills-based, time-limited and inexpensive.

7. View therapy as preventative.
Couples typically wait until their relationship has significantly suffered to seek counseling. Crohn encourages readers to see a therapist before getting to this place. Be
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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5/2/2013 12:15:42 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I enjoy this topic. I'll just copy what I wrote in a thread about this months ago.

In terms of my own relationship history...

Best

Atheists: An atheist with an atheist has to be the easiest possible combo. No obligations, no negotiations. Anything goes lol.

Buddhists: A little reincarnation and karma never hurt anybody.

Worst

New Agers: Crystals, seances, universal consciousness, chanting, premonitions, meditation...and this was all one girl. If she wasn't hot, this would have lasted one day. Alone, any one of these is cool but combined, it's a deal breaker.

Born Again Christians: There must be something deliciously taboo about dating an atheist for some girls. It's usually exciting and forbidden in the beginning but eventually you get tired of hearing about your eternal damnation right after fornicating.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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suttichart.denpruektham
Posts: 1,115
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5/2/2013 12:23:26 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 5/2/2013 12:15:42 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I enjoy this topic. I'll just copy what I wrote in a thread about this months ago.

In terms of my own relationship history...

Best

Atheists: An atheist with an atheist has to be the easiest possible combo. No obligations, no negotiations. Anything goes lol.

Buddhists: A little reincarnation and karma never hurt anybody.

Worst

New Agers: Crystals, seances, universal consciousness, chanting, premonitions, meditation...and this was all one girl. If she wasn't hot, this would have lasted one day. Alone, any one of these is cool but combined, it's a deal breaker.

Born Again Christians: There must be something deliciously taboo about dating an atheist for some girls. It's usually exciting and forbidden in the beginning but eventually you get tired of hearing about your eternal damnation right after fornicating.

You obviously never seen a Buddhists lunatic who can not talk of anything that is not written in the sutra, or the new cult sect who act like an MLM and who try to create a "network of positive karma" which generally resulted in a network of temple donation.