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Top 15 Reasons not to become an Atheist

Nidhogg
Posts: 503
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4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
15. Having to be associated with that one guy who yells at literally everyone leaving church about how intolerant they are.

14. Having to say "no" to EVERY religious pamphlet-distributing group. It wears on you after 7,000.

13. Your girlfriend/wife's parents give you the evil eye while saying grace.

12. Saying "Oh my God" doesn't feel as epic, but saying "Oh my Science" is just stupid.

11. Awkward Christmases with the family. And Easters. And Thanksgiving. And Cousin Timmy's Birthdays.

10. Having nothing to do on Sunday.

9. Having to carry around booklets filled with ant-religion charts and such in case you run into a hardline theist.

8. Holy Wars.

7. Not being able to write bestselling books about seeing heaven.

6. You now share the same religion as Stalin and Darth Vader

5. That awkward moment when everyone is praying for some natural disaster.

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

3. Being part of the official religion of Communism.

2. Literally EVERY major terror group hates you.

1. Creationists will burn you at the stake.

NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE. I DO NOT MEAN TO CORRECTLY INTERPRET ANY SORT OF RELIGIOUS?NONRELIGIOUS GROUP WITH THIS. IN FACT, THE MORE INACCURATE THIS IS THE BETTER. ANYONE WHO TAKES IT SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO GO SMACK THEIR HEADS INTO A WALL UNTIL THEY LEARN HOW TO TAKE A JOKE
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AlbinoBunny
Posts: 3,781
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4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.
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Apeiron
Posts: 2,446
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4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...
AlbinoBunny
Posts: 3,781
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4/29/2013 3:23:05 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

Well I can't promise I wouldn't, but I wouldn't say it would be a rational emotion either.
bladerunner060 | bsh1 , 2014! Presidency campaign!

http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org... - Running for president.
http://www.debate.org... - Running as his vice president.

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muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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4/29/2013 3:48:07 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

I'd like to see you overcome ingrained emotional reflexes, without great time and effort.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
Nur-Ab-Sal
Posts: 1,637
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4/30/2013 2:25:35 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 3:23:05 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

Well I can't promise I wouldn't, but I wouldn't say it would be a rational emotion either.

We atheists? We're rational. Reason. We love reason. Gotta be rational. Reason for everyone.
Genesis I. And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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4/30/2013 9:14:13 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

lol

Dare you to say "Bloody Mary" 3x in a dark room in front a mirror!


You just put your god on the same level as ghost stories... Good job. ;)

Anyways... May God Curse my family.

If god's so petty as that, he's a moron.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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4/30/2013 9:33:24 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:
15. Having to be associated with that one guy who yells at literally everyone leaving church about how intolerant they are.

Never did that as an Atheist. That's a new one lol


14. Having to say "no" to EVERY religious pamphlet-distributing group. It wears on you after 7,000.

Fair enough.


13. Your girlfriend/wife's parents give you the evil eye while saying grace.

Why say grace? I thank the farmer and the market.


12. Saying "Oh my God" doesn't feel as epic, but saying "Oh my Science" is just stupid.

I say "Oh my science" all the time during sex...


11. Awkward Christmases with the family. And Easters. And Thanksgiving. And Cousin Timmy's Birthdays.

Why would this be awkward? I can celebrate Jesus's birthday without believing he is the son of God.


10. Having nothing to do on Sunday.

I get wings and beer on Sundays!


9. Having to carry around booklets filled with ant-religion charts and such in case you run into a hardline theist.

Those books did get heavy after a while..


8. Holy Wars.

This is a reason not to be religious.


7. Not being able to write bestselling books about seeing heaven.

This only applies to people who aren't finction authors.

6. You now share the same religion as Stalin and Darth Vader

You share the same religion as Hitler.


5. That awkward moment when everyone is praying for some natural disaster.

And it never comes, because prayers don't get answered.


4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'll swear that I'm a kangaroo on The Bible. It means nothing to me.


3. Being part of the official religion of Communism.

I'm a capitalist.


2. Literally EVERY major terror group hates you.

Same with Americans, most of whom are Christian.


1. Creationists will burn you at the stake.

NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE. I DO NOT MEAN TO CORRECTLY INTERPRET ANY SORT OF RELIGIOUS?NONRELIGIOUS GROUP WITH THIS. IN FACT, THE MORE INACCURATE THIS IS THE BETTER. ANYONE WHO TAKES IT SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO GO SMACK THEIR HEADS INTO A WALL UNTIL THEY LEARN HOW TO TAKE A JOKE


It better be a joke, I'll get my Atheist buddies eat your babies!
Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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4/30/2013 9:36:57 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

"May God curse my family"..... Mmmm That actually has a nice ring to it!
johnlubba
Posts: 2,892
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4/30/2013 9:58:55 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 4/30/2013 9:36:57 AM, Rational_Thinker9119 wrote:
At 4/29/2013 3:18:33 PM, Apeiron wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:55:04 PM, AlbinoBunny wrote:
At 4/29/2013 2:49:16 PM, Nidhogg wrote:

4. Refusing to swear on the Bible at any point despite the fact that it really, shouldn't matter to you if you're above religious disputes. This can lead to awkwardness if you ever have to be a trial witness or say the pledge of allegiance.

I'm glad I've never had to swear to "God" on a Bible that I'll tell the truth, I might have laughed a little.

I'd like to see you say, "May God curse my family" and NOT feel a bit eery about it...

"May God curse my family"..... Mmmm That actually has a nice ring to it!

Now we know you just contradict theists for the sake of it and no matter how eery the topic.....