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Pastafarianism is the best religion

Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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8/29/2013 11:14:46 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Before Pastafarianism the world was filled with naught but hatred, intolerance, bigotry, and senseless death and destruction. Though the world is still filled with these things, a ray of hope has emerged from its veil of secrecy that has kept it hidden for hundreds of years. That ray of hope? Pastafarianism.

Light and Knowledge was dim as a candle near the end of it wick. Christianity fell into disrepute and became a matter of sport for the corrupt and the hypocrites. From the very beginning, Christianity had been subjected to alterations by extremists and to interpretations by the ignorant. The simple teachings of The Most Venerable and His Noodly Appendage was buried beneath the transgressors' evil behaviour. Islam was created by a mentally deranged and delusional paedophile. Judaism has become a society obssessed with rites and rules lacking all life and spirit. Apart from that, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, have spread little but intolerance, hatred, bigotry, and strife throughout the world.

The Wizards and Witches of Hogwarts have become devoted to element worship. They build altars and shrines to "The boy who lived" and his false idolatry. Outside the shrines they follow naught but their own selfish pursuits, and now little remains to tell the difference between those who do not believe in any divine spiritual being, and these wizards and witches, but "muggle".

Buddhism is naught but paganism, after all, what kind of religion says that a being of infinite power, wisdom, and compassion, cannot be in multiple places at the same time, appearing in different forms, to different people, as they most would be willing to accept this being?

Hinduism, the basic religion of India, is distinguished by its millions of idols and gods, and the society its followers have perpetrated of castes, and discrimination betwixt them. It is but a harsh reality of life in this part of the world.

The Islamic peoples also chose to incorporate elements from paganism and idol-worship of the most abhorrent kind that had no parallel, even in pagan Hindu India. They were involved in shirk and adopted gods other than Allah. Every tribe, region or city had a particular idol. Indeed, every house had a private idol. Inside the Ka'bah, the house that had been built for the worship of these pagan gods, and in its courtyard, stood three hundred and sixty idols. The Islamic people even had the audacity to worship a black stone, that was originally intended for the worship of one of the many pagan gods that pre-dated Islam in Arabia, effectively stealing this religions idol in what can only be described as pure thievery.

The people of the world have believed their morals to be corrupted by drinking and gambling, when these things did not corrupt their morals. No, there is nothing wrong with having a good time, so long as it is not taken overboard. And if it is, it is a fault of the person alone, and not the fault of the activities that they partook in. These peoples were a vicious lot, and commited such atrocities like burying baby girls alive, pillaging and plundering, rape, etc. They were indeed fond of war, and with the introduction of Islam, little changed. But christians and jews no different! and commited many of the same atrocities!

In short the world has been running along this path, this horrible dreadful path since the exploits of man have been recorded. Man failed to see who their creator was, failed to feel the wet touch of his noodly appendage upon them. Failed to see the meatballs staring directly into their soul, crying for an end to this madness!

But lo! For centuries there were a few people who saw the wisdom. A few people who saw the light! These people came to be known as Pastafarians. For The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster chose these people to carry on the traditions and beliefs passed to them through his great noodly prophecy. He chose them to do this, until the right time came, for the world to know of its true creator. For man to know the truth beyond these pitiful lies and cunning trickery that had been perpetrated by these criminals.

The time finally came, and His most venerable prophet, Bobby Henderson finally came forth with the light of knowledge and wisdom, to the Kansas School Board. He finally proclaimed the prophecy of The Most Noodly for all to hear, and rejoice in its truth!

Pastafarianism will finally change the dreadful state the world finds itself in today! It will finally, though it will not be immediate, and will be difficult, bring an end to the evil that pervades this world! Pastafarianism is not a new religion. No, it is but the true religion that has been crassly perverted by these so called believers in God. It does not preach multiple Gods, it preaches but one. The Flying Spaghetti Monster. A monotheistic message that has been distorted and abused for personal gain throughout mans history.

Once you come to realize this, you will see that Pastafarianism is truly the best religion, and has the most continuous and universal message of any religion!

Tolerance of those that are now deemed "outcasts" and "perversions" such as the LGBT community. For we as pastarfarians believe that The Flying Spaghetti Monster has but blessed them with his powers of creation, and they have been doubly blessed by being touched by his noodly appendage. They were created by Him as they were, and who are we to question the decisions in creation of The Most Noodly?

A message of peace and love amongst each other. For The Most Noodly wants naught more than to see us live in harmony, as he intended. It pains and frustrates him so that we choose to act as we do, in spite, anger, hatred, senselessness, and ignore what should be so obvious for us all to see! That we were all created by Him, and thus should love each other as He loves all of us!

He does not demand your "submission." If you choose not to follow Him, He understands, and loves you still, despite your callousness in turning your back on His love. So I implore you, be touched by his noodly appendage. See the wisdom and knowledge that is Pastafarianism. Rejoice and celebrate with us as we usher in this new age of man!

All Hail The Most Noodly!
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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8/29/2013 11:30:40 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 8/29/2013 11:28:38 PM, Disquisition wrote:
tl;dr, maybe tomorrow but it is a PARADOY religion.

you may choose to remain ignorant, my dear friend, He Who Is Most Noodly loves you regardless.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
Wallstreetatheist
Posts: 7,132
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8/30/2013 1:11:36 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 8/29/2013 11:28:38 PM, Disquisition wrote:
tl;dr, maybe tomorrow but it is a PARADOY religion.

http://imageshack.us...
DRUG HARM: http://imgur.com...
Primal Diet. Lifting. Reading. Psychedelics. Cold-Approach Pickup. Music.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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8/30/2013 8:28:39 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 8/30/2013 1:11:36 AM, Wallstreetatheist wrote:
At 8/29/2013 11:28:38 PM, Disquisition wrote:
tl;dr, maybe tomorrow but it is a PARADOY religion.

http://imageshack.us...

He mocks because he does not see the truth of Him and His Noodly Appendage. Do not fret, he shall come to know the glory of our Noodly Creator soon enough. Until then we can do naught but love him for who he is, for the Flying Spaghetti Monster so made him as such.

Praise be to He who is most noodly
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion