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Jesus was a Vampire

DanT
Posts: 5,693
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4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54

Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle
Fruitytree
Posts: 2,176
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4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.
DanT
Posts: 5,693
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4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle
annanicole
Posts: 19,782
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4/14/2014 8:27:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

In other words, "You assess meaning of it and come up with the correct view. I'll cling to my error."

His statement is correct: "You need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it."
Madcornishbiker: "No, I don't need a dictionary, I know how scripture uses words and that is all I need to now."
DanT
Posts: 5,693
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4/14/2014 8:31:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 8:27:03 PM, annanicole wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

In other words, "You assess meaning of it and come up with the correct view. I'll cling to my error."

His statement is correct: "You need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it."

So what you are saying is if I preach that people should love thy neighbor, and after my death my disciples wage war on their neighbor, their actions are reflective of my teachings?
"Chemical weapons are no different than any other types of weapons."~Lordknukle
annanicole
Posts: 19,782
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4/14/2014 8:53:38 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 8:52:12 PM, Intrepid wrote:
Lol guys this is obviously some sort of satire. Let's laugh and move on.

Just one of those who is fulfilling his self-imposed quota of "topics started".
Madcornishbiker: "No, I don't need a dictionary, I know how scripture uses words and that is all I need to now."
bulproof
Posts: 25,187
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4/14/2014 9:16:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 8:31:24 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:27:03 PM, annanicole wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

In other words, "You assess meaning of it and come up with the correct view. I'll cling to my error."

His statement is correct: "You need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it."

So what you are saying is if I preach that people should love thy neighbor, and after my death my disciples wage war on their neighbor, their actions are reflective of my teachings?

Vlad the Impaler was doing god's work. Lazy bugger that god, he's always got someone else doing his work.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Installgentoo
Posts: 1,420
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4/15/2014 3:25:16 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

*tips fedora
Dwint
Posts: 47
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4/15/2014 3:33:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/14/2014 9:16:07 PM, bulproof wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:31:24 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:27:03 PM, annanicole wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

In other words, "You assess meaning of it and come up with the correct view. I'll cling to my error."

His statement is correct: "You need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it."

So what you are saying is if I preach that people should love thy neighbor, and after my death my disciples wage war on their neighbor, their actions are reflective of my teachings?

Vlad the Impaler was doing god's work. Lazy bugger that god, he's always got someone else doing his work.

Vlad the Impaler was religious, but he never claimed to impale people in the name of God. It was his way to rule his country and scare his enemies.
Hitchens is the way!
bulproof
Posts: 25,187
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4/15/2014 4:23:27 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/15/2014 3:33:34 AM, Dwint wrote:
At 4/14/2014 9:16:07 PM, bulproof wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:31:24 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:27:03 PM, annanicole wrote:
At 4/14/2014 8:15:50 PM, DanT wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:46:29 PM, Fruitytree wrote:
At 4/14/2014 4:29:18 PM, DanT wrote:
What did the Gospel of John have to say about his leader?

"Jesus said to them, 'Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.'" ~ John 6:53-54


Want more proof? Vampire hunters of old would behead suspected vampires in order to kill them. Jesus's teacher, John the Baptist, was beheaded.

Jesus used to speak in parables, you need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it.

You interpret your pseudo-historical figures your way and I'll interpret them mine.

In other words, "You assess meaning of it and come up with the correct view. I'll cling to my error."

His statement is correct: "You need to see how his disciples implemented his command in order to understand it."

So what you are saying is if I preach that people should love thy neighbor, and after my death my disciples wage war on their neighbor, their actions are reflective of my teachings?

Vlad the Impaler was doing god's work. Lazy bugger that god, he's always got someone else doing his work.

Vlad the Impaler was religious, but he never claimed to impale people in the name of God. It was his way to rule his country and scare his enemies.

You read your Shelley's bible and I'll read mine. Be sure to wear garlic, it adds a lovely tang.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin