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religious proselytizer prank

philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
PeacefulChaos
Posts: 2,610
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5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Martley
Posts: 126
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5/5/2014 8:25:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."

Customer: " Ah, I think I like that Lutheran one, how much for that one?

Seller: " Oh, that one is free, but the mandatory pot luck cookbook is $59.99"
A Black Belt is a white belt who never quit.

The best time to do something was 20 years ago.... the second best to do something is now.
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/5/2014 8:51:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 8:25:28 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."


Customer: " Ah, I think I like that Lutheran one, how much for that one?

Seller: " Oh, that one is free, but the mandatory pot luck cookbook is $59.99"

lol nice, let me try.

Customer: "Ah, That Catholic one has some nice decorations, I'll take that one."
Seller: "nice and your in luck it comes with a free subscription to "IL Mio Papa"
Martley
Posts: 126
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5/5/2014 9:12:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 8:51:27 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:25:28 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."


Customer: " Ah, I think I like that Lutheran one, how much for that one?

Seller: " Oh, that one is free, but the mandatory pot luck cookbook is $59.99"

lol nice, let me try.

Customer: "Ah, That Catholic one has some nice decorations, I'll take that one."
Seller: "nice and your in luck it comes with a free subscription to "IL Mio Papa"

Ha!

Female Customer: "Ah , that Catholic one looks pretty, how much is that one."
Seller: "Do you have children??"
Female Customer: "Why yes I do!"
Seller: "Yeah, you don't want that one..."
A Black Belt is a white belt who never quit.

The best time to do something was 20 years ago.... the second best to do something is now.
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 9:22:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Customer: I don't know what I want.

Seller: Well, let me ask you a few questions.

Customer: Okay.

Seller: Are you married?

Customer: Yes.

Seller: Do you have children?

Customer: Yes.

Seller: Do you love your family?

Customer: Of course.

Seller: Well, Mormonism is what you want, then. You can be married for eternity and keep your family together forever.

Customer: Oh hell no! Committing for life was scary enough!
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/5/2014 9:26:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 9:12:05 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:51:27 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:25:28 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."


Customer: " Ah, I think I like that Lutheran one, how much for that one?

Seller: " Oh, that one is free, but the mandatory pot luck cookbook is $59.99"

lol nice, let me try.

Customer: "Ah, That Catholic one has some nice decorations, I'll take that one."
Seller: "nice and your in luck it comes with a free subscription to "IL Mio Papa"

Ha!

Female Customer: "Ah , that Catholic one looks pretty, how much is that one."
Seller: "Do you have children??"
Female Customer: "Why yes I do!"
Seller: "Yeah, you don't want that one..."

Customer: "Why does the Southern Baptist look so bad?"
Seller: "It is a rigid waver heavily watered down. Great for people with out teeth."
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 9:27:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Customer: I don't know what I want.

Seller: Well lemme ask you a question, then.

Customer: Okay.

Seller: Does the prospect of ceasing to exist appeal to you or not?

Customer: Well, it's better than going to hell for eternity.

Seller: That narrows it down. You want to consider either Jehovah's Witnesses or Buddhism. In both religions, cessation of existence is an option. It's a good thing in Buddhism, but it's a bad thing in Jehovah's Witnessism. But there's no hell in either religion.

Customer: Hmm. Well, if I don't have to worry about hell, then there's no point in ceasing to exist.

Seller: Jehovah's Witnesses it is, then!
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 9:29:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Customer: I want it all!

Seller: Unitarian Universalism for you!
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Martley
Posts: 126
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5/5/2014 9:37:53 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 9:26:18 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 9:12:05 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:51:27 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:25:28 PM, Martley wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:11:26 PM, philochristos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 8:08:36 PM, PeacefulChaos wrote:
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: "Ah, this religion here sounds interesting. Yes, I'd like this one."

Seller: "Okay, but the price is that you're going to go to hell because of you're sins."

Customer: "..."

Customer: "Ah, I think I like that Calvinism one, there. How much for that one?"

Seller: "Oh, you can't choose that one."


Customer: " Ah, I think I like that Lutheran one, how much for that one?

Seller: " Oh, that one is free, but the mandatory pot luck cookbook is $59.99"

lol nice, let me try.

Customer: "Ah, That Catholic one has some nice decorations, I'll take that one."
Seller: "nice and your in luck it comes with a free subscription to "IL Mio Papa"

Ha!

Female Customer: "Ah , that Catholic one looks pretty, how much is that one."
Seller: "Do you have children??"
Female Customer: "Why yes I do!"
Seller: "Yeah, you don't want that one..."

Customer: "Why does the Southern Baptist look so bad?"
Seller: "It is a rigid waver heavily watered down. Great for people with out teeth."

Oh I just thought of another!

Customer: "Well the Radical Islam one looks like it's pretty popular... I'll take that one"
Seller: "Sure thing.... Here's your AK-47, C4 vest, box of detonators, duffle bag of pipe bombs, sunscreen and a one way ticket to a hot dry climate.
A Black Belt is a white belt who never quit.

The best time to do something was 20 years ago.... the second best to do something is now.
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/5/2014 9:42:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 9:29:43 PM, philochristos wrote:
Customer: I want it all!

Seller: Unitarian Universalism for you!

Customer: "Well, I want so many, but not all. Do you have any bargains like that?"

Seller: "Sure thing! Choose Baha'i Faith and get a bakers dozen of the most popular ones."
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/5/2014 9:42:53 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 9:42:18 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 9:29:43 PM, philochristos wrote:
Customer: I want it all!

Seller: Unitarian Universalism for you!

Customer: "Well, I want so many, but not all. Do you have any bargains like that?"

Seller: "Sure thing! Choose Baha'i Faith and get a bakers dozen of the most popular ones."

That's a good one!
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/5/2014 9:45:50 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
lol all of these are cool. You should do another for philosophies like dualism and idealism. I got some for that too.
n7
Posts: 1,356
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5/5/2014 11:58:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 9:45:50 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
lol all of these are cool. You should do another for philosophies like dualism and idealism. I got some for that too.

lol

Customer: I have OCD I can't have things mixing.

Seller: I think Cartesian Dualism is perfect for you.
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.


Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/6/2014 12:04:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 11:58:11 PM, n7 wrote:
At 5/5/2014 9:45:50 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
lol all of these are cool. You should do another for philosophies like dualism and idealism. I got some for that too.

lol

Customer: I have OCD I can't have things mixing.

Seller: I think Cartesian Dualism is perfect for you.

Customer: "oh that looks nice what is that?"
Seller: " Oh that's Dualism it is peanut butter filled chocolate."
Customer: "*crunch* hey this is empty!"
Seller: "Oops sorry that was panpsychism, the peanut butter is in the mind."
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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5/6/2014 12:11:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 12:04:36 AM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 5/5/2014 11:58:11 PM, n7 wrote:
At 5/5/2014 9:45:50 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
lol all of these are cool. You should do another for philosophies like dualism and idealism. I got some for that too.

lol

Customer: I have OCD I can't have things mixing.

Seller: I think Cartesian Dualism is perfect for you.

Customer: "oh that looks nice what is that?"
Seller: " Oh that's Dualism it is peanut butter filled chocolate."
Customer: "*crunch* hey this is empty!"
Seller: "Oops sorry that was panpsychism, the peanut butter is in the mind."

I'm sure someone can make that better lol
matt.mcguire88
Posts: 1,137
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5/6/2014 8:05:00 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Customer, " Eh, that Catholic one looks dark and dreary, the Baptists look boring, those Calvinist ones are beyond repair and that JW stuff is strange....
You got any non denominational stuff??"
Seller, " Well you're in luck boy! We got a special deal for ya, just buy this here Bible and be on your way, no need to purchase these dern religions anyway!
Customer, "Sweet!!".
irreverent_god
Posts: 1,378
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5/6/2014 2:21:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Customer: " WOW. That catholic one looks like a lot of fun... How much?"

Seller: "That depends... How old is your son?"

<Slamming Door...>
Logic and Reason are the precursor to Justice.
Faith and zealotry are the precursor to Folly.
annanicole
Posts: 19,782
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5/6/2014 3:24:25 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

That's a good one - and you know, it might actually be very effective when the prank part ended. You could offer them the Baptist church, Methodist church, Episcopalians, Lutherans, Mormons, Witnesses, Adventists, Catholics and sell them like non-prescription patent medicines, cheap imitations. Then pull out a NT and offer them the real prescription, the one prescribed by the Great Physician.
Madcornishbiker: "No, I don't need a dictionary, I know how scripture uses words and that is all I need to now."
annanicole
Posts: 19,782
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5/6/2014 3:30:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Customer: I'll take First Baptist

Seller: OK, but you'll have to get dunked to get in - after they vote on you

Customer: Do I have to get dunked to get into heaven?

Seller: Heavens, no - it's "not of works, lest any man should boast", and you know how people go around boasting day and night about their baptism. It's epidemic.

Customer: Then it's easier to get into heaven than the Baptist Church?

Seller: Let's move on to another choice. You're asking way too many questions to make a good Baptist.
Madcornishbiker: "No, I don't need a dictionary, I know how scripture uses words and that is all I need to now."
ethang5
Posts: 4,084
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5/7/2014 12:14:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/5/2014 7:57:00 PM, philochristos wrote:
I just came up with an idea for a YouTube prank. You know how some people like Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses will go door to door trying to sell people on their religion? Well, I was thinking about going door to door offering people religion, and when they ask me what religion I'm trying to convert them to, I open up a folder and say, "We have many religions to choose from," and the folder has different pictures from different religions, and I start talking about religion as if it were like ordering cookie dough or something.

Door to door salesman greets two potential customers at the door. Before he can say "hello",
Cust 1 - Ask him, you'll see he doesn't have it.
Cust 2 - What if he does?
Cust 1 - He can't. Just ask.
Cust 2 - Do you sell religions?
Seller - Yes Sir! Got every single one you could want. Sell only religions.
Cust 2 - Do you have atheism?
Seller - Sure do. Will it be two or....
Cust 1 - You say you sell only religions?
Seller - nothin' but!
Cust 1 - Atheism isn't a religion.
Seller - That's right Sir.
Cust 1 - But you sell it?
Seller - That's right Sir.
Cust 1 - And you say you sell only religions?
Seller - Yes Sir, sell nothing else.
Cust 2 - Gimme one.
Cust 1 - People will think you're some sort of religious nut!
Seller - How could they? It isn't a religion.
Cust - Yet you sell it.
Seller - Quite popular these days Sir.