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Where your treasure is . . .

RogueScholar
Posts: 16
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2/16/2010 9:09:33 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
The interaction between people is something that is as old as human history. Today, people interact with others in many different ways. We interact daily with such people as the man in line at the grocery store, the bank teller, your coworkers, your boss, your child's teacher, your friends, your spouse, and your children. Some interactions are momentary and you will never see that person again. Others are more acquaintances. Some people you see daily, such as your coworkers, but you never interact with them beyond the boundaries of work. Other interactions are much more meaningful, such as those with your friends and family, and are more of a relationship. "Careers," technology, and many of our current interests, hobbies, "needs," entertainment, and comforts have become so ingrained into our lives and society that we view them as essential – things we could not live without. Most, if not all of these things and pursuits, are recent developments in our history. Throughout history the average person was not concerned about a "career," but rather providing the true necessities (food, clothing, and shelter) by working. The focus was providing for the family and not what I want to do for a career. There was a common bond – the family.

Most, if not all of these things and pursuits, are recent developments in our history. They are distractions that have cluttered, distorted, and damaged relationships. We are so busy, self-interested, and bombarded with distractions, that our society has become dysfunctional in its relationships. This extends from the child, adult, family, and community. There is a ripple effect. When the family does not relate, then the child is unable to relate, and grows up to be an adult who is unable to successfully relate. This child goes to school, with other children who are unable to relate, and problems begin as early as preschool. And then the schools have to deal with these children.

Our focus, purpose, and priorities in life have changed. Spending meaningful time with our children and families has taken a back seat to our own interests and "needs." We are all too busy for each other and don't seem to realize that we are missing what is truly important; each other, relationships, doing things together, listening, enjoying each other's company, and playing together. These are the things that are truly important. When your kids are grown and your retired from your career, is she going to come visit you because you always bought her the nicest clothes? She is not going to come back and say, "Hey mom, remember the Reeboks you bought me?" She might say, "Hey mom, remember how every Friday night we would play games and eat popcorn?" I doubt there is a gravestone that says, "He should have spent more time at work." If you asked people, if they knew they were going to die tomorrow what would they do today, chances are they would say something like, "I'd spend it with my family." They would not say, "I'd go to work." And if most people would say this, then why isn't the relationships with our families and children the priority in our life? Remember the saying, "Where your treasure is, there is where your heart is." What do you treasure most? As a school psychologist, I often hear parents say, "I have to work so much for my family." Or, "Both of us have to work for our kids." Is this really true? Or is it a matter of what you want and not really what you need? Do you have to have the career or job that keeps you away from your family so much? What if spending time with your family had to be a priority? What if a doctor told you that you had one more year to live? Would you find ways to spend more time with your family and children, or at your job? Then why isn't time with your family and children a priority now?

What do you want to be remembered for? This can be a very touchy and sensitive topic to discuss. Five or ten years after you have retired, will you be remembered at your place of employment or by future employees? And how much does it really matter anyhow? This is a touchy topic because people put so much value and importance in their careers or jobs. Shouldn't our children and grandchildren remembering us be more important? If we invested more effort and concern into our relationships with our family and children, then our legacy would be treasured memories and wonderful stories, which will live on for generations.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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2/16/2010 10:23:39 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I like to ramble instead of getting to the point.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
belle
Posts: 4,113
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2/16/2010 10:54:43 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
if i had little choice but to hang out with my family i would go mildly insane.... i really much prefer it this way :P

anyways my treasure is well hidden. you don't get to know where it is.
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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2/16/2010 10:59:28 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 2/16/2010 10:54:43 PM, belle wrote:
anyways my treasure is well hidden. you don't get to know where it is.
They teach it to every student in sex ed. Unless you had some kind of radical surgery just to be able to say that.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
belle
Posts: 4,113
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2/16/2010 11:04:33 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 2/16/2010 10:59:28 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
At 2/16/2010 10:54:43 PM, belle wrote:
anyways my treasure is well hidden. you don't get to know where it is.
They teach it to every student in sex ed. Unless you had some kind of radical surgery just to be able to say that.

theres more to life than books ya know....
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
Floid
Posts: 751
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2/17/2010 4:47:42 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Well I think your post makes a vastly oversimplified and stereotypical view of modern society. Is it true in a few cases? Yeah I guess.

Modern society, with all its "distractions" has also given us more free time to spend with family and friends should we choose to do so. Technology has increased productivity and means of communication to a point where the average person no longer has to work all day (and by that I mean 12+ hours) simply to survive, which has been true in the past. Technology also means that when a family member or friend doesn't live within a few mile radius you are able to communicate with them every day. And if they live a long distance away you can see them more than once a year or less as was previously the case.

So to act like families all sit around and watch separate TVs or use computers all day and don't interact with people anymore really isn't the norm. Or to suggest that people are too involved in their careers and don't spend time with their families like they used to is completely false. Historically, children have been laborers along with their parents. I don't know if I would suggest that as the ideal family life either. And historically people have had to work a lot more hours to get way less out of life than modern technology affords.
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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2/17/2010 6:52:37 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 2/16/2010 9:09:33 PM, RogueScholar wrote:
The interaction between people is something that is as old as human history. Today, people interact with others in many different ways. We interact daily with such people as the man in line at the grocery store, the bank teller, your coworkers, your boss, your child's teacher, your friends, your spouse, and your children. Some interactions are momentary and you will never see that person again. Others are more acquaintances. Some people you see daily, such as your coworkers, but you never interact with them beyond the boundaries of work. Other interactions are much more meaningful, such as those with your friends and family, and are more of a relationship. "Careers," technology, and many of our current interests, hobbies, "needs," entertainment, and comforts have become so ingrained into our lives and society that we view them as essential – things we could not live without. Most, if not all of these things and pursuits, are recent developments in our history. Throughout history the average person was not concerned about a "career," but rather providing the true necessities (food, clothing, and shelter) by working. The focus was providing for the family and not what I want to do for a career. There was a common bond – the family.

Most, if not all of these things and pursuits, are recent developments in our history. They are distractions that have cluttered, distorted, and damaged relationships. We are so busy, self-interested, and bombarded with distractions, that our society has become dysfunctional in its relationships. This extends from the child, adult, family, and community. There is a ripple effect. When the family does not relate, then the child is unable to relate, and grows up to be an adult who is unable to successfully relate. This child goes to school, with other children who are unable to relate, and problems begin as early as preschool. And then the schools have to deal with these children.

Our focus, purpose, and priorities in life have changed. Spending meaningful time with our children and families has taken a back seat to our own interests and "needs." We are all too busy for each other and don't seem to realize that we are missing what is truly important; each other, relationships, doing things together, listening, enjoying each other's company, and playing together. These are the things that are truly important. When your kids are grown and your retired from your career, is she going to come visit you because you always bought her the nicest clothes? She is not going to come back and say, "Hey mom, remember the Reeboks you bought me?" She might say, "Hey mom, remember how every Friday night we would play games and eat popcorn?" I doubt there is a gravestone that says, "He should have spent more time at work." If you asked people, if they knew they were going to die tomorrow what would they do today, chances are they would say something like, "I'd spend it with my family." They would not say, "I'd go to work." And if most people would say this, then why isn't the relationships with our families and children the priority in our life? Remember the saying, "Where your treasure is, there is where your heart is." What do you treasure most? As a school psychologist, I often hear parents say, "I have to work so much for my family." Or, "Both of us have to work for our kids." Is this really true? Or is it a matter of what you want and not really what you need? Do you have to have the career or job that keeps you away from your family so much? What if spending time with your family had to be a priority? What if a doctor told you that you had one more year to live? Would you find ways to spend more time with your family and children, or at your job? Then why isn't time with your family and children a priority now?

What do you want to be remembered for? This can be a very touchy and sensitive topic to discuss. Five or ten years after you have retired, will you be remembered at your place of employment or by future employees? And how much does it really matter anyhow? This is a touchy topic because people put so much value and importance in their careers or jobs. Shouldn't our children and grandchildren remembering us be more important? If we invested more effort and concern into our relationships with our family and children, then our legacy would be treasured memories and wonderful stories, which will live on for generations.

Sir, I've neither the time nor the inclination to read this; how about an abridged version for those of us with a life outside of computers?
The Cross.. the Cross.
BlessedCheesemaker
Posts: 20
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2/17/2010 7:17:54 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 2/16/2010 9:09:33 PM, RogueScholar wrote:
Five or ten years after you have retired, will you be remembered at your place of employment or by future employees? And how much does it really matter anyhow? This is a touchy topic because people put so much value and importance in their careers or jobs. Shouldn't our children and grandchildren remembering us be more important? If we invested more effort and concern into our relationships with our family and children, then our legacy would be treasured memories and wonderful stories, which will live on for generations.


This is a very good point, however in a capitalist society it becomes increasingly harder and harder to pull off. I make it a point to go to every single sporting event that my children play in. Not an easy task with 4 boys. But there is a price to pay for that commitment. Namely, I was overlooked for promotions and considered a problem by some of my former employees, because of my need to leave work early in order to catch matches. Society itself here in the United states talks a good game about parenting, but doesn't support it socially. The truth is that our entire economic system is set up to promote effort that supports increasing profits for business, not a stable home life. This can most notably be seen in the families who are beset by poverty. Many have both parents working two - three part time jobs, while the children are being raised by grandparents or on the streets. The outcome of course is disastrous, but they have no other option.

My treasure lies in my kids, but I am lucky enough to be able to pull it off. You have to realize that there are plenty of parents out there who would love to be more active in thier kids lives, but need to feed them first.