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Funny Arguments for God

CJKAllstar
Posts: 408
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7/13/2014 10:37:54 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) God saves the queen.
(2) The queen hasn't died.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Biww oishdosdj paodj paskdo pdo aopsj means that God exists.
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That's why they don't believe in God.
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTION
(1) Assume that God exists.
(2) The atheist claims that God doesn't exist.
(3) But since this contradicts the original assumption, the atheist must be wrong.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com...

Loads more on this website, they are all hilarious!

I am a theist, but I still find these hilarious, so please...no butthurt.
"Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." - George Orwell
Envisage
Posts: 3,646
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7/13/2014 10:52:16 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
ARGUMENT FROM EMOTION:
P1) If God doesn't exist, I will be sad
P2) I will not be sad
C) Therefore god exists

ARGUMENT FROM MARRIAGE:
P1) My wife claims god exists
P2) My wife is never wrong
C) Therefore God exists
bulproof
Posts: 25,247
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7/13/2014 11:17:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 10:58:54 AM, dylancatlow wrote:
God is good.
Witness the flood. God is a murderer of innocents. Just read some more sh1t from his story.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
dylancatlow
Posts: 12,245
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7/13/2014 11:20:28 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 11:17:31 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 7/13/2014 10:58:54 AM, dylancatlow wrote:
God is good.
Witness the flood. God is a murderer of innocents. Just read some more sh1t from his story.

Floods are fun, cause everyone get to swim around. and murder is funny.

funny and fun are good

God exists
bornofgod
Posts: 11,322
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7/13/2014 11:33:14 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 10:37:54 AM, CJKAllstar wrote:
ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) God saves the queen.
(2) The queen hasn't died.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Biww oishdosdj paodj paskdo pdo aopsj means that God exists.
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.


ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
(2) That's why they don't believe in God.
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTION
(1) Assume that God exists.
(2) The atheist claims that God doesn't exist.
(3) But since this contradicts the original assumption, the atheist must be wrong.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com...

Loads more on this website, they are all hilarious!

I am a theist, but I still find these hilarious, so please...no butthurt.

This is exactly how atheists and theists argue with each other. LOL
CJKAllstar
Posts: 408
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7/13/2014 3:23:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (I)
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Christians; it's too complicated for you to understand. God doesn't exist whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH
(1) Lots of people go to church.
(2) Those people are retarded.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS FREEDOM
(1) You are free to believe or disbelieve in God.
(2) But if you believe in God, then you're stupid.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC FAITH
(1) Science, unlike religion, always operates on proof rather than faith.
(2) Even though all scientific proofs ultimately boil down to principles that must be accepted on faith.
(3) But if you don't think about that, then it's totally not a problem.
(4) Therefore, God does not exist.

APOLLO 9/11 ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Science flies you to the moon.
(2) Religion flies you into buildings.
(3) Despite the fact that science built the planes that flew people into buildings.
(4) And despite the fact that some of the lunar astronauts (Buzz Aldrin, for example) were extremely religious people.
(5) But you still get my point, whatever it is.
(6) Therefore, God does not exist.
"Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." - George Orwell
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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7/13/2014 8:01:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 3:23:34 PM, CJKAllstar wrote:
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (I)
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Christians; it's too complicated for you to understand. God doesn't exist whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH
(1) Lots of people go to church.
(2) Those people are retarded.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS FREEDOM
(1) You are free to believe or disbelieve in God.
(2) But if you believe in God, then you're stupid.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC FAITH
(1) Science, unlike religion, always operates on proof rather than faith.
(2) Even though all scientific proofs ultimately boil down to principles that must be accepted on faith.
(3) But if you don't think about that, then it's totally not a problem.
(4) Therefore, God does not exist.

Is p2 satire, or do you actually believe it?


APOLLO 9/11 ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Science flies you to the moon.
(2) Religion flies you into buildings.
(3) Despite the fact that science built the planes that flew people into buildings.
(4) And despite the fact that some of the lunar astronauts (Buzz Aldrin, for example) were extremely religious people.
(5) But you still get my point, whatever it is.
(6) Therefore, God does not exist.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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7/14/2014 10:53:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 8:01:19 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 7/13/2014 3:23:34 PM, CJKAllstar wrote:
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (I)
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Christians; it's too complicated for you to understand. God doesn't exist whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH
(1) Lots of people go to church.
(2) Those people are retarded.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS FREEDOM
(1) You are free to believe or disbelieve in God.
(2) But if you believe in God, then you're stupid.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC FAITH
(1) Science, unlike religion, always operates on proof rather than faith.
(2) Even though all scientific proofs ultimately boil down to principles that must be accepted on faith.
(3) But if you don't think about that, then it's totally not a problem.
(4) Therefore, God does not exist.

Is p2 satire, or do you actually believe it?

Dude totally believe that. It is fact. All logical systems boil down to some set of axioms or presuppositions accepted with out evidence or proof. They are accepted on faith. This makes exchanging parts of logical systems NOT interchangeable with out due consideration for the presuppositions.



APOLLO 9/11 ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Science flies you to the moon.
(2) Religion flies you into buildings.
(3) Despite the fact that science built the planes that flew people into buildings.
(4) And despite the fact that some of the lunar astronauts (Buzz Aldrin, for example) were extremely religious people.
(5) But you still get my point, whatever it is.
(6) Therefore, God does not exist.

Argument of large numbers.

p1. Given enough time, space, and trails anything is possible
p2. Life from non-living matter is impossible.
p3. We are extremely lucky, that the an early trial happened instead of a one near the end of a trillion years old universe just before it dies.
C1. Luck wins, God does not exist.

Argument from Default Position

P1. Science has no answer to origins of universe, life, consciousness, spiritual, etc..
P2. God answers these things
P3. We do not know how those things could happen without God.
C1. No ONE knows how, but it surely definitely was not with a God.
Mhykiel
Posts: 5,987
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7/14/2014 11:30:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
p1. I can connect the dots with the stars.
p2. In every language, the words for "God exists" can be seen
c1. God exists it is written in the stars.
Beastt
Posts: 5,135
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7/15/2014 3:16:02 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
(1) There is no evidence for Fairies. So fairies don't exist.
(2) There is no evidence for unicorns. So unicorns don't exist.
(3) There is no evidence for Leprechauns. So Leprechauns don't exist.
(4) There is no evidence for God. SO GOD EXITS!
"If we believe absurdities we shall commit atrocities." -- Voltaire
ChosenWolff
Posts: 3,361
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7/15/2014 3:29:42 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/13/2014 10:37:54 AM, CJKAllstar wrote:
ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS
(1) God is love.
Prove it
(2) Love is blind.
Prove it
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
Well.......... true
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
Prove it
(5) Therefore, God exists.
You argued that stevie wonder is god. Not that god exists.

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich
(2) Therefore, God exists.
Doesn't make any sense

ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) God saves the queen.
Prove it
(2) The queen hasn't died.
Shes died inside
(3) Therefore, God exists.
Prove it

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Biww oishdosdj paodj paskdo pdo aopsj means that God exists.
True
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
True
(3) Therefore, God exists.
Finally, someone speaks some damn sense


ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
WAW
(2) Here is the URL.
Where?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
I wantz die link and the argument the site makes

ARGUMENT FROM HATE
(1) Some atheists hate Christians and Christianity.
Duh
(2) That's why they don't believe in God.
Prove it
(3) Pathetic, aren't they?
Duh
(4) Therefore, God exists.
No

ARGUMENT FROM CONTRADICTION
(1) Assume that God exists.
Poor argument
(2) The atheist claims that God doesn't exist.
WAW
(3) But since this contradicts the original assumption, the atheist must be wrong.
Duh
(4) Therefore, God exists.
Assuming the original theory was correct

http://www.godlessgeeks.com...

Loads more on this website, they are all hilarious!

I am a theist, but I still find these hilarious, so please...no butthurt.
How about NO elections?

#onlyonedeb8
muzebreak
Posts: 2,781
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7/15/2014 4:15:04 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/14/2014 10:53:20 PM, Mhykiel wrote:
At 7/13/2014 8:01:19 PM, muzebreak wrote:
At 7/13/2014 3:23:34 PM, CJKAllstar wrote:
ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE (I)
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid Christians; it's too complicated for you to understand. God doesn't exist whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM CHURCH
(1) Lots of people go to church.
(2) Those people are retarded.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM RELIGIOUS FREEDOM
(1) You are free to believe or disbelieve in God.
(2) But if you believe in God, then you're stupid.
(3) Therefore, God does not exist.

ARGUMENT FROM SCIENTIFIC FAITH
(1) Science, unlike religion, always operates on proof rather than faith.
(2) Even though all scientific proofs ultimately boil down to principles that must be accepted on faith.
(3) But if you don't think about that, then it's totally not a problem.
(4) Therefore, God does not exist.

Is p2 satire, or do you actually believe it?

Dude totally believe that. It is fact. All logical systems boil down to some set of axioms or presuppositions accepted with out evidence or proof. They are accepted on faith. This makes exchanging parts of logical systems NOT interchangeable with out due consideration for the presuppositions.


It seems you misunderstand the operations of science. Methodological naturalism is simply a way of acting, not believing. Yes, methodologically naturalism has axioms, but there is no faith. Those acting in the sciences, scientists, apply a methodology, without which it would be impossible to reason anything about our universe. This is not a faith based system, but simply an assumed one. Scientists need not be naturalists to apply the methodology, they need not believe any tenant of it to be true. It is simply an assumed system that fits the purpose.



APOLLO 9/11 ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Science flies you to the moon.
(2) Religion flies you into buildings.
(3) Despite the fact that science built the planes that flew people into buildings.
(4) And despite the fact that some of the lunar astronauts (Buzz Aldrin, for example) were extremely religious people.
(5) But you still get my point, whatever it is.
(6) Therefore, God does not exist.

Argument of large numbers.

p1. Given enough time, space, and trails anything is possible
p2. Life from non-living matter is impossible.
p3. We are extremely lucky, that the an early trial happened instead of a one near the end of a trillion years old universe just before it dies.
C1. Luck wins, God does not exist.

Argument from Default Position

P1. Science has no answer to origins of universe, life, consciousness, spiritual, etc..
P2. God answers these things
P3. We do not know how those things could happen without God.
C1. No ONE knows how, but it surely definitely was not with a God.
"Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for science intact." - Carl Sagan

This is the response of the defenders of Sparta to the Commander of the Roman Army: "If you are a god, you will not hurt those who have never injured you. If you are a man, advance - you will find men equal to yourself. And women.