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Married in Heaven

bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
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7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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7/26/2014 3:35:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Uhhhhh??? What's your question???
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
bulproof
Posts: 25,203
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7/26/2014 3:46:18 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

+1+1
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Installgentoo
Posts: 1,420
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7/26/2014 8:53:25 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

You realize there's a joke forum, right?
bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
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7/26/2014 3:12:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 8:53:25 AM, Installgentoo wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

You realize there's a joke forum, right?

Christianity is a joke
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
Fanath
Posts: 830
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7/26/2014 3:21:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:35:26 AM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Uhhhhh??? What's your question???

Ummm... Why did he need to have a question?
Dude... Stop...
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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7/26/2014 3:50:48 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:21:20 PM, Fanath wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:35:26 AM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Uhhhhh??? What's your question???

Ummm... Why did he need to have a question?

Well I know it was a joke now but I was confused by his post which I why I asked what his questions was. But NEVERMIND me.
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
Installgentoo
Posts: 1,420
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7/26/2014 4:07:04 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:12:14 PM, bluesteel wrote:
At 7/26/2014 8:53:25 AM, Installgentoo wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

You realize there's a joke forum, right?

Christianity is a joke

My response to you https://www.youtube.com....
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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7/26/2014 5:24:53 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:12:14 PM, bluesteel wrote:
At 7/26/2014 8:53:25 AM, Installgentoo wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

You realize there's a joke forum, right?

Christianity is a joke

I laughed at the joke, then laughed again at this. A twofer!
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Romanii
Posts: 4,851
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7/26/2014 6:44:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

This may have been one of the most serious and intellectually challenging posts that have gone in the religion forum all day.
AngelofDeath
Posts: 2,953
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7/26/2014 6:49:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 6:44:58 PM, Romanii wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

This may have been one of the most serious and intellectually challenging posts that have gone in the religion forum all day.

Lol +1
I may or may not be a cat
Skepticalone
Posts: 6,093
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7/26/2014 10:24:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/26/2014 4:07:04 PM, Installgentoo wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:12:14 PM, bluesteel wrote:
At 7/26/2014 8:53:25 AM, Installgentoo wrote:
At 7/26/2014 3:13:49 AM, bluesteel wrote:
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

You realize there's a joke forum, right?

Christianity is a joke

My response to you https://www.youtube.com....

Was he actually saying. "Jesus Christ is my n*gga"?!

Thank you for that! I laughed pretty hard at that one!
This thread is like eavesdropping on a conversation in a mental asylum. - Bulproof

You can call your invisible friends whatever you like. - Desmac

What the hell kind of coked up sideshow has this thread turned into. - Casten
bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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7/26/2014 10:28:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Lol...
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I'm a Bish.


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