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sexy virgins cuase strike

banker
Posts: 1,370
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3/5/2010 3:26:33 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Muslim suicide bombers in Britian are set to begin a three-day strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this wasunacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our membersare literally working themselves to death in the cause of jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by managementis a kick in the teeth."Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?"Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands where he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "Wesympathise with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to haveto tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden.Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure toagree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing toanything like that........it's too much of a mouthful to swallow".Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Wednesday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren
the most important source for muslim Arabs:

"And thereafter We [Allah] said to the Children of Israel: 'Dwell securely in the Promised Land. And when the last warning will come to pass, we will gather you together in a mingled crowd'.".

- Qur'an 17:104 -

Any sincere muslim must recognize the Land they call "Palestine" as the Jewish Homeland, according to the book considered by muslims to be the most sacred word and Allah's ultimate revelation.

Ibn Khaldun, one of the most creditable
DATCMOTO
Posts: 6,160
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3/5/2010 3:33:02 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/5/2010 3:26:33 AM, banker wrote:
Muslim suicide bombers in Britian are set to begin a three-day strike on Wednesday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this wasunacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our membersare literally working themselves to death in the cause of jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by managementis a kick in the teeth."Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?"Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands where he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "Wesympathise with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to haveto tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden.Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure toagree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be buggered if I'm agreeing toanything like that........it's too much of a mouthful to swallow".Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Wednesday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren

Jesus Christ died for, and paid the price for, Muslims too.
The Cross.. the Cross.
banker
Posts: 1,370
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3/5/2010 3:46:10 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
That's why its so sad how christians are persicuted by them today
the most important source for muslim Arabs:

"And thereafter We [Allah] said to the Children of Israel: 'Dwell securely in the Promised Land. And when the last warning will come to pass, we will gather you together in a mingled crowd'.".

- Qur'an 17:104 -

Any sincere muslim must recognize the Land they call "Palestine" as the Jewish Homeland, according to the book considered by muslims to be the most sacred word and Allah's ultimate revelation.

Ibn Khaldun, one of the most creditable
collegekitchen5
Posts: 66
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3/5/2010 4:34:09 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Banker is a notorious spammer on DDO forums. Though his "spams" are topic related they are hated by most DDO members. o

Banker is the winner of the 2009 DDO Awards, Biggest spammer and Worst Poster.

To date Banker has made a total of 84 threads on DDO. 41 or 48.8% of which involve Islam in some way, 32 or 38.1% involve "libs" "Obama" "ethiests" "Global Warming" "Health Care" or an anti-liberal topic. Banker has an 85.5% (71 separate ones 2 topics involve both Islam and an anti-liberal topic) chance of one of his threads involving: Islam, libs, Obama, ethiests, or a general anti-liberal topic and there is a 47.6% (40 so far) chance of having his thread title being misspelled. Banker has 780 meaning that 10.8% or 1 in 10 of his posts are the creation of a topic.
banker
Posts: 1,370
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3/5/2010 5:19:49 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Allah,s brothel is looking for new workers
the most important source for muslim Arabs:

"And thereafter We [Allah] said to the Children of Israel: 'Dwell securely in the Promised Land. And when the last warning will come to pass, we will gather you together in a mingled crowd'.".

- Qur'an 17:104 -

Any sincere muslim must recognize the Land they call "Palestine" as the Jewish Homeland, according to the book considered by muslims to be the most sacred word and Allah's ultimate revelation.

Ibn Khaldun, one of the most creditable
tkubok
Posts: 5,044
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3/5/2010 8:13:59 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/5/2010 6:21:56 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 3/5/2010 5:19:49 AM, banker wrote:
Allah,s brothel is looking for new workers
Why are you insulting Christianity?

Hes insulting Islam.
tkubok
Posts: 5,044
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3/5/2010 8:14:57 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/5/2010 8:13:59 AM, tkubok wrote:
At 3/5/2010 6:21:56 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 3/5/2010 5:19:49 AM, banker wrote:
Allah,s brothel is looking for new workers
Why are you insulting Christianity?

Hes insulting Islam.

Wait. Yes, i suppose his existance alone insults christianity, but his post is regarding his inults against Islam.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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3/5/2010 8:28:55 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/5/2010 8:14:57 AM, tkubok wrote:
Hes insulting Islam.

Wait. Yes, i suppose his existance alone insults christianity, but his post is regarding his inults against Islam.
He is insulting Christianity. I just need his response.
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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3/5/2010 9:19:29 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I didn't know Banker had a sense of humor.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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3/5/2010 11:37:29 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/5/2010 8:14:57 AM, tkubok wrote:
At 3/5/2010 8:13:59 AM, tkubok wrote:
At 3/5/2010 6:21:56 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 3/5/2010 5:19:49 AM, banker wrote:
Allah,s brothel is looking for new workers
Why are you insulting Christianity?

Hes insulting Islam.

Wait. Yes, i suppose his existance alone insults christianity, but his post is regarding his inults against Islam.

No actually hist post insulted Jews, Christians, Muslims, Zorastrians and very arguably Hindus... or at least those who syncretise Jesus with Krishna.

It's the same God.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
banker
Posts: 1,370
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3/6/2010 6:27:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Cereb I welcome your new found concern on insulting christianty..!

I hope to begin experiancing less attacks and more respect from you and other ethiests ..!
the most important source for muslim Arabs:

"And thereafter We [Allah] said to the Children of Israel: 'Dwell securely in the Promised Land. And when the last warning will come to pass, we will gather you together in a mingled crowd'.".

- Qur'an 17:104 -

Any sincere muslim must recognize the Land they call "Palestine" as the Jewish Homeland, according to the book considered by muslims to be the most sacred word and Allah's ultimate revelation.

Ibn Khaldun, one of the most creditable
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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3/6/2010 6:31:05 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 3/6/2010 6:27:07 PM, banker wrote:
Cereb I welcome your new found concern on insulting christianty..!

I hope to begin experiancing less attacks and more respect from you and other ethiests ..!

ethiests cant be trusted....! they control lib media....! they only knoew how to insult christianity....! ethiests will go to hell for not acepting jebus....!