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The Bible in Cockney...

Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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8/4/2014 1:12:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
...is the best version of the bible.

http://www.brfonline.org.uk...

Well, it's an excerpt innit?? Read and learn 'ow good ol' God's always out to save us.

Adam and Eve:

Later on in the evening, they heard God taking a little ball in the garden, and so they hid from 'im behind some trees. God then called out, "Where are you, folks?"

The geezer answered, "I heard you taking a ball in the garden and I was scared and so I hid from you, 'cos I had no bloomin' these-and-those on!"

"Hang on a minute," said God. "Who told you that you were starkers? You ain't been eating the fruit I told you not to eat, 'ave you?"

The geezer answered, "Well, actually, it was that woman you put in the garden with me. She gave me the fruit, and all I did was just eat it."

So God turned to the woman and said, "Oi! Why did you do this, young lady?"

She replied, "It weren't me, God. It was that dodgy snake. It tricked me into eating the delicious fruit, innit?"

http://fc08.deviantart.net...
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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8/4/2014 1:25:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 8/4/2014 1:16:37 PM, Benshapiro wrote:
God: well shucks, time to suffer

Bloody well told 'em not to eat the fruit, the geezer. Dodgy snake's no good ol' reason innit?
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Benshapiro
Posts: 3,931
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8/4/2014 1:31:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 8/4/2014 1:25:49 PM, Oryus wrote:
At 8/4/2014 1:16:37 PM, Benshapiro wrote:
God: well shucks, time to suffer

Bloody well told 'em not to eat the fruit, the geezer. Dodgy snake's no good ol' reason innit?

Darn snake diddly known darn well notta tempt em humans but darn well did damnit. Now the goddang forbidden fruit been eaten