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Heaven is boring

Material_Girl
Posts: 264
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10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?
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dee-em
Posts: 6,490
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10/21/2014 5:42:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

Don't you know that heaven will be full of aborted foetuses and babies who died in childbirth/infancy? They never had a chance to sin, so straight to heaven they go.

Therefore, at the risk of sounding sexist, you will be fully occupied with childcare. Can you imagine the fun? :-)
POPOO5560
Posts: 2,490
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10/21/2014 6:04:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
In heavan you can watch southpark all day long without waiting for the next week for new episodes with buntch of angel girls :D
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ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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10/21/2014 6:19:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

No. You get to either join the old people at the peaceful retiring home or fly around on motorbikes! And wait just right there, if your not satisfied with that, we'll throw in shape shifting abilities to prank your friends. So you can be Naruto anytime you want! >:3
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,078
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10/21/2014 7:03:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

There is no way of knowing exactly what Heaven is like. However, it is likely that we will spend our time in the presence of God.
You may be thinking, "Oh, a forever long church service..." but it's not like that. Here on Earth, where we cannot see God, our worship of Him is almost reluctant, as it doesn't seem like much fun.
But when we see God face to face, His glory will be overpowering. We will long to spend eternity in God's presence, because it will be better than any Earthly activity. We cannot even begin to understand or imagine it.
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LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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10/21/2014 7:15:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

In heaven, we won't have to put up with potty mouthed little girls.
Thanksfornotraping
Posts: 238
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10/21/2014 7:25:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:42:31 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

Don't you know that heaven will be full of aborted foetuses and babies who died in childbirth/infancy? They never had a chance to sin, so straight to heaven they go.

Therefore, at the risk of sounding sexist, you will be fully occupied with childcare. Can you imagine the fun? :-)

I was always so suspicious being born with a uterus! Thanks, Obama!
bornofgod
Posts: 11,322
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10/21/2014 8:22:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

We'll be doing lots of things in the next age that we can't do in this one like flying. The laws that govern the illusions of this universe won't be the same such as gravity. We won't understand what gravity means.
ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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10/22/2014 9:41:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 7:15:58 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

In heaven, we won't have to put up with potty mouthed little girls.

We also won't have to put up with fundamentalism?
bulproof
Posts: 25,296
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10/22/2014 9:49:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 9:41:38 AM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:15:58 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

In heaven, we won't have to put up with potty mouthed little girls.

We also won't have to put up with fundamentalism?

You hope. LOL. +1
ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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10/22/2014 9:50:49 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 9:49:36 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 10/22/2014 9:41:38 AM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 10/21/2014 7:15:58 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

In heaven, we won't have to put up with potty mouthed little girls.

We also won't have to put up with fundamentalism?

You hope. LOL. +1

Aye. One can only hope.
XLAV
Posts: 13,719
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10/22/2014 9:53:50 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/21/2014 5:34:15 PM, Material_Girl wrote:
What do you even do in Heaven? Eternal glory sounds dull as fvck. Do you bang angel guys/girls/both and smoke holy drugs or something?

Indeed it is. After around 10,000 years, these theist fools will wish there wasn't a heaven. Boring as hell.