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When did satan rebel?

bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
dee-em
Posts: 6,451
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12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 6:53:14 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.

Thanks dee, but I'm after a response from the godbotherers and it seems they are too afraid to commit.

Which is there wont.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
dee-em
Posts: 6,451
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12/1/2014 6:55:24 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 6:53:14 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.

Thanks dee, but I'm after a response from the godbotherers and it seems they are too afraid to commit.

Which is there wont.

Yeah I know. I was just giving you a friendly bump. :-)
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 6:59:11 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 6:55:24 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 6:53:14 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.

Thanks dee, but I'm after a response from the godbotherers and it seems they are too afraid to commit.

Which is there wont.

Yeah I know. I was just giving you a friendly bump. :-)

TAH mate. :)
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 8:18:19 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Do we have an answer?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Jayhawker_Soule
Posts: 169
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12/1/2014 8:59:11 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 6:53:14 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.

Thanks dee, but I'm after a response from the godbotherers and it seems they are too afraid to commit.

Which is there wont.

Please forgive what might be a naive question, but what are "godbotherers"?
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 9:08:54 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 8:59:11 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 6:53:14 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 5:17:34 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Oh he was a rebel right from the start. He was just no damn god, oops good.

Thanks dee, but I'm after a response from the godbotherers and it seems they are too afraid to commit.

Which is there wont.

Please forgive what might be a naive question, but what are "godbotherers"?

Believers.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Jayhawker_Soule
Posts: 169
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12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Jayhawker_Soule
Posts: 169
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12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
birdlandmemories
Posts: 4,140
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12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?
Ashton
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 10:39:53 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

Apparently a couple of billion.
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 10:42:02 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

C'mon, some of you must have the guts to make the claim?
Or are you all gutless?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Jayhawker_Soule
Posts: 169
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12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/1/2014 10:54:52 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.
OK sweety.
Come back when you are an adult
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/3/2014 1:40:49 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:54:52 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.
OK sweety.
Come back when you are an adult

Do we have any answers from those who believe in satan's rebellion?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
bornofgod
Posts: 11,322
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12/3/2014 1:52:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?

Christians will believe anything their false prophets teach them. Satan is a symbolic name and so was the fight Satan and God had. LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gentorev
Posts: 2,892
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12/3/2014 4:23:41 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.

I agree. It is not a topic for foul mouthed immature and childish atheists, who have no understanding of the truth as revealed in the metaphorical scriptures of the pseudepigrapha of the OT.

Let me read to you from the Book of Adam and Eve, whether or not you believe what the spirit is trying to reveal to you in this metaphorical story, is up to you. After Adam had been driven out of paradise and returned to the lower place from which he had been formed, he cried out to the devil who was tormenting his wife "Eve," "Why do you torment us so?" And with a heavy sigh, the devil spake: "O Adam! All my hostility, envy, and sorrow is for thee, since it is for thee that I have been expelled from my glory, which I possessed in the heavens in the midsts of the angels and for thee was I cast down to the earth."

Adam answered, "What dost thou tell me? What have I done to thee, or what is my fault against thee? Seeing that thou hast received no harm or injury from us, why dost thou pursue us? The Devil replied, "Adam, what dost thou tell me? It is for thy sake that I have been hurled from that place. When thou wast formed, I was hurled out of the presence of God and banished from the company of the angels.

When God blew into thee the breath of life, and thy face and thy likeness were made in the image of God, Michael also brought thee and made us worship thee in the sight of God; and God the Lord (Jahel or Lord to the glory of El the creator) spake: Here is Adam. I have made thee in our image and likeness." And Michael went out and called all the angels saying: "Worship the image of God as the (Lord Jah) (God El) hath commanded." And Michael himself worshipped first; then he called me and said, "Worship the image of God the Lord." And I answered, "I have no need to worship Adam." And since Michael kept urging me to worship, I said to him, "Why dost thou urge me?" I will not worship an inferior being than me. I am his senior in the creation; before he was made I was already made. It is Adam"s duty to worship me."

When the angels who were under me, heard this, they also refused to worship Adam, And Michael saith, "Worship the image of God, (The Most High and Lord of Creatures) but if thou wilt not worship him, the Lord God will be wrath with thee."

But he, said, "If he be wrath with me, I will set my seat above the stars of heaven and will be like the highest himself." And God the Lord was wrath with me and banished me and my angels from our glory; and on thy account, were we expelled from our abodes into this world and were hurled on the earth. And straight way we were overcome with grief, since we had been spoiled of so great glory.

And we were grieved when we saw thee in such Joy and luxury (In the Garden of Eden). And with guile I (The Spiritual godhead of the upright walking serpents, who was the most high in the creation before mankind and who ruled the earth for some 3 million years) cheated thy wife Eve and caused thee to be expelled through her doing from thy joy and luxury, as I have been driven out of my glory, etc.

It is also written somewhere else in the Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament, that after Satan had been hurled down to the earth of the sixth cycle of universal activity and while Adam was still in Paradise, the ruling spirit in the enclosure that was Eve whose pregnant body today has become the entire body of mankind, then understood that God was about to bring in a new creation and he thought to bring Adam down, and in such form (THOUGHT) he was able to deceive Eve, but he was unable to touch Adam.

It is the evolving spirit of God"s Son, who is developing within the body of EVE, the expanded and pregnant androgynous body of Mankind, which body must endure great pains and tribulation before she bears, "The Son of Man," the new androgynous body of light that evolves from mankind.
bulproof
Posts: 25,210
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12/3/2014 7:39:22 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/3/2014 4:23:41 AM, Gentorev wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.

I agree. It is not a topic for foul mouthed immature and childish atheists, who have no understanding of the truth as revealed in the metaphorical scriptures of the pseudepigrapha of the OT.

Let me read to you from the Book of Adam and Eve, whether or not you believe what the spirit is trying to reveal to you in this metaphorical story, is up to you. After Adam had been driven out of paradise and returned to the lower place from which he had been formed, he cried out to the devil who was tormenting his wife "Eve," "Why do you torment us so?" And with a heavy sigh, the devil spake: "O Adam! All my hostility, envy, and sorrow is for thee, since it is for thee that I have been expelled from my glory, which I possessed in the heavens in the midsts of the angels and for thee was I cast down to the earth."

Adam answered, "What dost thou tell me? What have I done to thee, or what is my fault against thee? Seeing that thou hast received no harm or injury from us, why dost thou pursue us? The Devil replied, "Adam, what dost thou tell me? It is for thy sake that I have been hurled from that place. When thou wast formed, I was hurled out of the presence of God and banished from the company of the angels.

When God blew into thee the breath of life, and thy face and thy likeness were made in the image of God, Michael also brought thee and made us worship thee in the sight of God; and God the Lord (Jahel or Lord to the glory of El the creator) spake: Here is Adam. I have made thee in our image and likeness." And Michael went out and called all the angels saying: "Worship the image of God as the (Lord Jah) (God El) hath commanded." And Michael himself worshipped first; then he called me and said, "Worship the image of God the Lord." And I answered, "I have no need to worship Adam." And since Michael kept urging me to worship, I said to him, "Why dost thou urge me?" I will not worship an inferior being than me. I am his senior in the creation; before he was made I was already made. It is Adam"s duty to worship me."

When the angels who were under me, heard this, they also refused to worship Adam, And Michael saith, "Worship the image of God, (The Most High and Lord of Creatures) but if thou wilt not worship him, the Lord God will be wrath with thee."

But he, said, "If he be wrath with me, I will set my seat above the stars of heaven and will be like the highest himself." And God the Lord was wrath with me and banished me and my angels from our glory; and on thy account, were we expelled from our abodes into this world and were hurled on the earth. And straight way we were overcome with grief, since we had been spoiled of so great glory.

And we were grieved when we saw thee in such Joy and luxury (In the Garden of Eden). And with guile I (The Spiritual godhead of the upright walking serpents, who was the most high in the creation before mankind and who ruled the earth for some 3 million years) cheated thy wife Eve and caused thee to be expelled through her doing from thy joy and luxury, as I have been driven out of my glory, etc.

It is also written somewhere else in the Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament, that after Satan had been hurled down to the earth of the sixth cycle of universal activity and while Adam was still in Paradise, the ruling spirit in the enclosure that was Eve whose pregnant body today has become the entire body of mankind, then understood that God was about to bring in a new creation and he thought to bring Adam down, and in such form (THOUGHT) he was able to deceive Eve, but he was unable to touch Adam.

It is the evolving spirit of God"s Son, who is developing within the body of EVE, the expanded and pregnant androgynous body of Mankind, which body must endure great pains and tribulation before she bears, "The Son of Man," the new androgynous body of light that evolves from mankind.

Isn't that a lovely fable.
Who recorded it?
Religion is just mind control. George Carlin
Composer
Posts: 5,858
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12/3/2014 7:50:54 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2014 2:56:24 AM, bulproof wrote:
Was it before or after the garden brouhaha?
Ask MCB to explain it using the YLT & Or the Botchtower EMPHATIC DIAGLOTT!

I tried because just about every second word he uses ' Satan, Blah, Blah, Blah ', but when he claimed to be able to sustain his Satanic ideology using ANY so called scripture, I called his bluff and MCB has been caught out telling yet more lies!

MCB can't even make a Start using those versions, he knows it, hence his big-mouthed BS he has to swallow and remain defeated again by Moi!
Gentorev
Posts: 2,892
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12/3/2014 10:29:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/3/2014 7:39:22 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/3/2014 4:23:41 AM, Gentorev wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:49:26 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:38:05 AM, birdlandmemories wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:36:49 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 10:04:58 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:50:47 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:45:08 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:33:38 AM, bulproof wrote:
At 12/1/2014 9:14:43 AM, Jayhawker_Soule wrote:
So would it be fair to characterize it as an ad hominem?

Grow up and answer the question.

^ Note the irony.

But, to be fair, I should at the very least address the [leading] question posed in the OP, so: a) I'm Jewish, and b) I do not believe in a rebellious satan.

So fuk off.
Why are you in this thread?

Why did you post the question? When do you think satan rebelled?

Why would I even have an opinion?
I'm asking the people who believe that it actually happened.
Are you one of them?

Would anyone actually believe in this rubbish?

1. I don't know you and, therefore, do not know why you would have an opinion. My assumption was that it was either an honest question or an adolescent act of trolling.

2. You need to work on your reading comprehension. I've already indicated that I do not believe in a rebellion satan.

3. Why and how people believe in or otherwise embrace religious text is a complex topic for adult discussion.

I agree. It is not a topic for foul mouthed immature and childish atheists, who have no understanding of the truth as revealed in the metaphorical scriptures of the pseudepigrapha of the OT.

Let me read to you from the Book of Adam and Eve, whether or not you believe what the spirit is trying to reveal to you in this metaphorical story, is up to you. After Adam had been driven out of paradise and returned to the lower place from which he had been formed, he cried out to the devil who was tormenting his wife "Eve," "Why do you torment us so?" And with a heavy sigh, the devil spake: "O Adam! All my hostility, envy, and sorrow is for thee, since it is for thee that I have been expelled from my glory, which I possessed in the heavens in the midsts of the angels and for thee was I cast down to the earth."

Adam answered, "What dost thou tell me? What have I done to thee, or what is my fault against thee? Seeing that thou hast received no harm or injury from us, why dost thou pursue us? The Devil replied, "Adam, what dost thou tell me? It is for thy sake that I have been hurled from that place. When thou wast formed, I was hurled out of the presence of God and banished from the company of the angels.

When God blew into thee the breath of life, and thy face and thy likeness were made in the image of God, Michael also brought thee and made us worship thee in the sight of God; and God the Lord (Jahel or Lord to the glory of El the creator) spake: Here is Adam. I have made thee in our image and likeness." And Michael went out and called all the angels saying: "Worship the image of God as the (Lord Jah) (God El) hath commanded." And Michael himself worshipped first; then he called me and said, "Worship the image of God the Lord." And I answered, "I have no need to worship Adam." And since Michael kept urging me to worship, I said to him, "Why dost thou urge me?" I will not worship an inferior being than me. I am his senior in the creation; before he was made I was already made. It is Adam"s duty to worship me."

When the angels who were under me, heard this, they also refused to worship Adam, And Michael saith, "Worship the image of God, (The Most High and Lord of Creatures) but if thou wilt not worship him, the Lord God will be wrath with thee."

But he, said, "If he be wrath with me, I will set my seat above the stars of heaven and will be like the highest himself." And God the Lord was wrath with me and banished me and my angels from our glory; and on thy account, were we expelled from our abodes into this world and were hurled on the earth. And straight way we were overcome with grief, since we had been spoiled of so great glory.

And we were grieved when we saw thee in such Joy and luxury (In the Garden of Eden). And with guile I (The Spiritual godhead of the upright walking serpents, who was the most high in the creation before mankind and who ruled the earth for some 3 million years) cheated thy wife Eve and caused thee to be expelled through her doing from thy joy and luxury, as I have been driven out of my glory, etc.

It is also written somewhere else in the Pseudepigrapha of the Old Testament, that after Satan had been hurled down to the earth of the sixth cycle of universal activity and while Adam was still in Paradise, the ruling spirit in the enclosure that was Eve whose pregnant body today has become the entire body of mankind, then understood that God was about to bring in a new creation and he thought to bring Adam down, and in such form (THOUGHT) he was able to deceive Eve, but he was unable to touch Adam.

It is the evolving spirit of God"s Son, who is developing within the body of EVE, the expanded and pregnant androgynous body of Mankind, which body must endure great pains and tribulation before she bears, "The Son of Man," the new androgynous body of light that evolves from mankind.

Isn't that a lovely fable.
Who recorded it?

The author of all scripture is God, who is "The Son of Man" who is the spirit that is currently developing within the body of mankind, the most high on the ladder of evolution, who is born with the death of mankind and who is able to descend to the very beginning before this world came into being.

He, who is the first and the last, the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega, and the Father and the Son, knows everything that every person has done in his past.

It is he who merges with those who are sensitive to his spirit, the ones that he used as scribes to record his words.

The Son of Man is the end of the evolutionary process in this cycle of universal activity, The MOST HIGH in the creation. But perhaps you believe that mankind is the end and nothing evolves from man. Am I correct in that assumption?