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Asexual Jesus

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1/12/2015 9:08:15 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Mandatory orientation for a human deity so as to retain sexual objectivity. Being promiscuous would be ultimately meaningless for a messiah who is focused on the metaphorical romance of his church who doubles as his mission in life. Also, knowing the future takes away the sexual free will of prospective partners, culminating in Jesus being sexually evil. So no, Jesus is not gay or straight. He is so obsessed with symbolism that even his female significant other is not even physical. That should have been your first clue.
God's a comedian and atheism is a punch line waiting to happen.