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Three preachers and a skunk

LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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1/16/2015 6:45:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Three preachers were walking down the road when they saw a skunk go into a vacant building with no door. The skunk had the place stinking badly, and the preachers decided to have a contest. "Let's see who can preach the longest with that skunk in the building" said one of them, and they all thought it would be fun.
The Methodist preacher went in first. He preached loud and passionately for about 30 minutes. Then he came running out gasping for air. "I can't take any more! Lets see you guys beat that!
The Catholic preacher went in next. He shouted "Hail Mary! and went in with his crucifix held high. He preached and told that skunk some holy water might cure it and sprinkled it on the skunk. He kept on preaching as he lit a few candles and said a few more Hail Maries. He kept going strong, probably aided by the candles and holy water masking some of the skunk stink. He came running out after 45 minutes. "I can't take any more! Now let's see you beat that!
The Batpist preacher took a deep breath and went in hurling Hell fire and brinstone words against the skunks sin as loud as he could. After about 20 minutes, the skunk came running out. "I can't take any more!" said the skunk.
LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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1/16/2015 6:50:18 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
A little comic relief here.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
dee-em
Posts: 9,816
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1/16/2015 6:54:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I can't take any more!
Fu-Ming: "So explain to us how wasps look like wasps 100 million years later. I'll wait".
Me: "What part of the theory of evolution states that a species must change? I'll wait".
Fu-Ming: "Mutations don't care whether a change is needed or not".
Me: "What part of the theory of evolution states that a species must change? I'll wait".
Fu-Ming: *crickets*
Skepticalone
Posts: 8,174
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1/16/2015 6:59:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2015 6:45:20 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
Three preachers were walking down the road when they saw a skunk go into a vacant building with no door. The skunk had the place stinking badly, and the preachers decided to have a contest. "Let's see who can preach the longest with that skunk in the building" said one of them, and they all thought it would be fun.
The Methodist preacher went in first. He preached loud and passionately for about 30 minutes. Then he came running out gasping for air. "I can't take any more! Lets see you guys beat that!
The Catholic preacher went in next. He shouted "Hail Mary! and went in with his crucifix held high. He preached and told that skunk some holy water might cure it and sprinkled it on the skunk. He kept on preaching as he lit a few candles and said a few more Hail Maries. He kept going strong, probably aided by the candles and holy water masking some of the skunk stink. He came running out after 45 minutes. "I can't take any more! Now let's see you beat that!
The Batpist preacher took a deep breath and went in hurling Hell fire and brinstone words against the skunks sin as loud as he could. After about 20 minutes, the skunk came running out. "I can't take any more!" said the skunk.

+1
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
Electric-Eccentric
Posts: 1,309
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1/16/2015 7:01:32 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Ole and Lena were slowly driving down the road one very cold Minnesota winter day on their way home from church.

As they drove along in their old truck they noticed a mother skunk had been hit and killed and there were three little skunk kittens trying to keep warm near her.

Lena asked Ole to stop and they decided they couldn't just leave them there on such a cold day to die. So Ole picked up the three skunk kittens and gave them to Lena and she placed them on her lap.

Lena tells Ole that the skunk kittens are shivering and cold.
Ole says, "put them under your dress"
Lena says, "what about the smell?"
Ole says, "oh, they won't mind"
Life is what YOU make it,
Most just try and fake it...
LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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1/16/2015 8:01:29 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2015 6:59:17 PM, Skepticalone wrote:
At 1/16/2015 6:45:20 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
Three preachers were walking down the road when they saw a skunk go into a vacant building with no door. The skunk had the place stinking badly, and the preachers decided to have a contest. "Let's see who can preach the longest with that skunk in the building" said one of them, and they all thought it would be fun.
The Methodist preacher went in first. He preached loud and passionately for about 30 minutes. Then he came running out gasping for air. "I can't take any more! Lets see you guys beat that!
The Catholic preacher went in next. He shouted "Hail Mary! and went in with his crucifix held high. He preached and told that skunk some holy water might cure it and sprinkled it on the skunk. He kept on preaching as he lit a few candles and said a few more Hail Maries. He kept going strong, probably aided by the candles and holy water masking some of the skunk stink. He came running out after 45 minutes. "I can't take any more! Now let's see you beat that!
The Batpist preacher took a deep breath and went in hurling Hell fire and brinstone words against the skunks sin as loud as he could. After about 20 minutes, the skunk came running out. "I can't take any more!" said the skunk.

+1

thank you. I have to give my Pasot the credit, he told this joke during his sermon Wednesday night. I embellished it a lot, but the basics were my pastor's joke......everybody knows he needs help with his jokes, but he did a good job on this one with only the basic story
LifeMeansGodIsGood
Posts: 2,744
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1/16/2015 8:03:53 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2015 7:01:32 PM, Electric-Eccentric wrote:
Ole and Lena were slowly driving down the road one very cold Minnesota winter day on their way home from church.

As they drove along in their old truck they noticed a mother skunk had been hit and killed and there were three little skunk kittens trying to keep warm near her.

Lena asked Ole to stop and they decided they couldn't just leave them there on such a cold day to die. So Ole picked up the three skunk kittens and gave them to Lena and she placed them on her lap.

Lena tells Ole that the skunk kittens are shivering and cold.
Ole says, "put them under your dress"
Lena says, "what about the smell?"
Ole says, "oh, they won't mind"

crude......I don't care for jokes like that anymore, that's bar room material......but I guess it's not too bad.
Electric-Eccentric
Posts: 1,309
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1/16/2015 8:16:42 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/16/2015 8:03:53 PM, LifeMeansGodIsGood wrote:
At 1/16/2015 7:01:32 PM, Electric-Eccentric wrote:
Ole and Lena were slowly driving down the road one very cold Minnesota winter day on their way home from church.

As they drove along in their old truck they noticed a mother skunk had been hit and killed and there were three little skunk kittens trying to keep warm near her.

Lena asked Ole to stop and they decided they couldn't just leave them there on such a cold day to die. So Ole picked up the three skunk kittens and gave them to Lena and she placed them on her lap.

Lena tells Ole that the skunk kittens are shivering and cold.
Ole says, "put them under your dress"
Lena says, "what about the smell?"
Ole says, "oh, they won't mind"

crude......I don't care for jokes like that anymore, that's bar room material......but I guess it's not too bad.

EE:
Scandinavian humor is like their Vikings.

How about this one:

Lars and Sven were going fishing and decided to stop in and see if Ole wanted to go with.

Ole says, I can't go fishing as I got a case of the runs.
Lars says, bring it along and we can drink it on the way.
Life is what YOU make it,
Most just try and fake it...