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A religious joke

ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."
dhardage
Posts: 4,545
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2/1/2015 2:52:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

Hey, you watch Joel Osteen!
ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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2/1/2015 3:13:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 2:52:49 PM, dhardage wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

Hey, you watch Joel Osteen!

Whose that?
dhardage
Posts: 4,545
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2/1/2015 4:30:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 3:13:31 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:52:49 PM, dhardage wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

Hey, you watch Joel Osteen!

Whose that?

Sorry, he's a televangelist of the 'God will make you rich if you give,' variety. Your joke seemed appropriate.
ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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2/1/2015 4:33:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 4:30:36 PM, dhardage wrote:
At 2/1/2015 3:13:31 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:52:49 PM, dhardage wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

Hey, you watch Joel Osteen!

Whose that?

Sorry, he's a televangelist of the 'God will make you rich if you give,' variety. Your joke seemed appropriate.

Yeah, the sermon was pretty much against materialism (money). He talked about how Christians will wear fancy clothes, drive cadillacs, and all this jazz. "The question is, do you honor the Lord with your money" is what he said. He then clarifies, "Now being rich isn't a sin entirely. Maybe he earned the money from hard work. Maybe he inherited the money and is not wanting to abuse the money. So he tried to be fair.
Skepticalone
Posts: 6,124
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2/1/2015 4:57:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 3:13:31 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:52:49 PM, dhardage wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

Hey, you watch Joel Osteen!

Whose that?
This thread is like eavesdropping on a conversation in a mental asylum. - Bulproof

You can call your invisible friends whatever you like. - Desmac

What the hell kind of coked up sideshow has this thread turned into. - Casten
Skyangel
Posts: 8,234
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2/1/2015 5:32:23 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

The farmer should have said "The Lord told me to ask you to give me your suit to wear so please may I have your suit to wear to church because I cannot afford to buy such a nice one myself. "

He might have ended up with a nice suit if he had been smart enough.

Rich and arrogant people like to look down on the poor but they rarely do anything to help the poor attain the standards they want to impose on them.
R0b1Billion
Posts: 3,733
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2/1/2015 7:36:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I'm all for making the point that, just because Christians claim to have the monopoly on God, it isn't necessarily the case.
Beliefs in a nutshell:
- The Ends never justify the Means.
- Objectivity is secondary to subjectivity.
- The War on Drugs is the worst policy in the U.S.
- Most people worship technology as a religion.
- Computers will never become sentient.
JJ50
Posts: 2,144
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2/2/2015 8:55:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Here's a joke for you.

St Peter was showing a bunch of new recruits the delights of heaven. There were things to suit all tastes, even a gay bar. Most popular were the wine tasting sessions, which Jesus had set up, he was particularly proud of his Chateau Heaven vintage, being of course an expert in viticulture.

A carriage, pulled by eight white horses, stopped beside the group, and out got the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. St Peter bowed low and introduced her, "This is God"! The recruits gasped, "Don't worry, you will soon get used to the idea", she grinned!

At the end of the tour the recruits were shown a tin shack from which emanated the sound of hoarse discordant singing. St Peter explained, " That is reserved for 'born again' Christians who think they are the only inhabitants of heaven, we don't like to disappoint them so they can sing God's praises for all eternity. One puzzled new arrival queried how they reacted to God being a woman. "Ah" said St Peter, "Now that is our very cunning plan. Not everyone can enter into the delights of heaven immediately if they have been very bad whilst on earth. They must serve a term playing God for the 'born agains", the length of which depends on the wickedness of their crimes. As the actor is always hidden in a blaze of light, they are none the wiser when a change over takes place. However heinous the crime, the perpetrator is deemed to have served their sentence after a few Millennia of listening to that lot 'singing God's praises!"

Copyright RJG
GamrDeb8rBbrH8r
Posts: 341
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2/2/2015 9:15:01 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

I don't get it.
"There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot."

-Immortal Technique

Rap battle VS Truth_Seeker: http://www.debate.org...
ChristianPunk
Posts: 1,710
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2/2/2015 9:41:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/2/2015 9:15:01 AM, GamrDeb8rBbrH8r wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

I don't get it.

The whole point is God doesn't care what you wear to his service.
GamrDeb8rBbrH8r
Posts: 341
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2/2/2015 9:41:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/2/2015 9:41:02 AM, ChristianPunk wrote:
At 2/2/2015 9:15:01 AM, GamrDeb8rBbrH8r wrote:
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

I don't get it.

The whole point is God doesn't care what you wear to his service.

OH. hahahaha
"There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot."

-Immortal Technique

Rap battle VS Truth_Seeker: http://www.debate.org...
bornofgod
Posts: 11,322
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2/2/2015 12:58:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/1/2015 2:19:13 PM, ChristianPunk wrote:
This came from a sermon from my uncle today at church. Tell me what yall think of the joke and it's message.

A farmer walks into a church wearing his torn overalls that are patched in 7 areas and covered in dirt. As he sits down in the back row, the preacher man in a 500 dollar suit comes to him and says "Sir, you need to talk with the lord about what you should wear before you come into his house." When the man left and asked God, he came back the next Sunday. The farmer was still in overalls. The preacher went to the farmer and asked "did you talk to the Lord about how you should dress in his house of worship?" The farmer nods and says "Yes I did. He said he don't know because he's never been invited before."

That was a good story about the hypocrites who don't know God but pretend they know from reading words in a book.

Here are a few stories that God had me write a few years ago starting a year after I began to write testimonies for Him.

The game of finding the truth is the hardest game to play. It's always best to watch the game being played and learn that it can't be won. Then you can give the game to the truth when he asks for it.

Man's laws tell you to look to the left then look to the right, then look to the left again before you cross the street. That's why you'll never know the truth. You won't listen to his command to run across the street without looking.

Many people desire what you have but they don't know what you have so they hate what you have because they don't have it.

The ocean is like the spirit of God. It's filled with fearful scuba divers in full rubber suits and two tanks of air strapped to them. There are some naked people in it who can breath under water that are trying to convince the fearful scuba divers that they can do the same before their air runs out.

Eternal life isn't for everyone you see, it's for everyone you can't see.

Finding God in religion is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It"s best to find the needle before you get lost in religion.

A lost sheep came upon a fenced pasture full of shepherds. So the sheep asked the shepherd closest to him, "Do you know where my home is?" The shepherd replied, I don't know where you're home is but you"re welcome to join us shepherds.

There was a man on a long journey who was looking for paradise. Another man was on a journey looking for a place called hell. The third man walked around his house several times and enjoyed life.

A garden can only grow if it has seed and a gardener to tend it. A well tended garden is beautiful when all the weeds are pulled. To leave the weeds in the garden is a shame to those who don"t know the gardener"s future plans for his garden.

Not everyone can see it. Not everyone can hear it. Not everyone can know it. But everyone will bow to it
Gentorev
Posts: 2,925
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2/2/2015 6:05:16 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Moses, Jesus and God are playing golf; Moses drives his ball straight into the lake, he then raises his arms, the waters part and he plays on. Then Jesus drives his ball into the lake also, but it lands on a lilly pad, so Jesus simply walks across the water and plays his ball from off the lilly pad. Then God drives his ball, which also lands on a lilly pad, just then an eagle swoops down and picks up the ball and proceeds to drop it onto the green where it lands in the hole; Moses then turns to Jesus and says, "That's the last time I play golf with your father."