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God's punishment?

RuvDraba
Posts: 6,033
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4/30/2015 4:08:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I've been either agnostic or an atheist all my life, but something inexplicable happened to me a while back, and I'd like some theological opinion on it.

It was the mid 1990s, and we were staying in a University flat with shared outdoor laundry facilities. It was a Sunday, and after doing the washing and hanging it out on the line, we went off for the day and came back that afternoon to find one of two shared washing machines missing, along with some laundry.

Now, here's the inexplicable thing: all my brightly-coloured 1980s polo shirts were missing from the washing line, and nothing else.

Was it a case of ordinary theft, divine intervention, or perhaps both? And if so, was God punishing me for my disbelief, or saving me from bad fashion-sense?

Any help appreciated.
debate_power
Posts: 726
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4/30/2015 4:21:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:08:40 PM, RuvDraba wrote:
I've been either agnostic or an atheist all my life, but something inexplicable happened to me a while back, and I'd like some theological opinion on it.

It was the mid 1990s, and we were staying in a University flat with shared outdoor laundry facilities. It was a Sunday, and after doing the washing and hanging it out on the line, we went off for the day and came back that afternoon to find one of two shared washing machines missing, along with some laundry.

Now, here's the inexplicable thing: all my brightly-coloured 1980s polo shirts were missing from the washing line, and nothing else.

Was it a case of ordinary theft, divine intervention, or perhaps both? And if so, was God punishing me for my disbelief, or saving me from bad fashion-sense?

Any help appreciated.

God was omnipotent and omniscient when he created the Earth (well, the entire universe from scratch, being somehow existent outside of existence). God knew that what he was doing would one day lead to your finding your shirts missing.

So... though I'm not what'd you call a Jesus on the subject... I'd say it was a sign of some sort, or maybe a fulfillment of an encoded prophecy in the Old Testament. What number of shirts were missing, and what constellation was in the sky that night? Also, did you sacrifice anything afterward? One of your wives, perhaps?
You can call me Mark if you like.
RuvDraba
Posts: 6,033
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4/30/2015 4:28:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:21:11 PM, debate_power wrote:
God was omnipotent and omniscient when he created the Earth (well, the entire universe from scratch, being somehow existent outside of existence). God knew that what he was doing would one day lead to your finding your shirts missing.
This is one of the reasons I'm now atheist, DP. It's what I call the Problem of Tastelessness. If God truly existed, then why bellbottoms? Bubble-skirts? Big hair? Shoulderpads? Plastic platform shoes with goldfish in?

Surely, He must've known man was going to do that... Why doesn't the Bible say: Look, you'll probably think it cool at the time, but Just Don't. For I am the LORD and believe ME, you'll regret it later.

What number of shirts were missing
All of them: the hot musk pink; the purulent yellow; the toxic green; and a navy one that I thought was doing no-one any harm. Even twenty years later, I can't get it out of my mind. It seems so indiscriminate and unfair.
debate_power
Posts: 726
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4/30/2015 4:39:57 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:28:46 PM, RuvDraba wrote:
At 4/30/2015 4:21:11 PM, debate_power wrote:
God was omnipotent and omniscient when he created the Earth (well, the entire universe from scratch, being somehow existent outside of existence). God knew that what he was doing would one day lead to your finding your shirts missing.
This is one of the reasons I'm now atheist, DP. It's what I call the Problem of Tastelessness. If God truly existed, then why bellbottoms? Bubble-skirts? Big hair? Shoulderpads? Plastic platform shoes with goldfish in?

I feel as though the more important question is: Why mullets?

Surely, He must've known man was going to do that... Why doesn't the Bible say: Look, you'll probably think it cool at the time, but Just Don't. For I am the LORD and believe ME, you'll regret it later.

Well, look at the good things we have, like medicine for curing diseases, chemotherapy for cancer, and pincers for extracting bullets from gunshot wounds. Praise God!

What number of shirts were missing
All of them: the hot musk pink; the purulent yellow; the toxic green; and a navy one that I thought was doing no-one any harm. Even twenty years later, I can't get it out of my mind. It seems so indiscriminate and unfair.

Let's see... that's four shirts you described... twenty years... twenty years divided by four gives you five... ehhh... there are five school days in a week... seven days in a week... errr... seven minus five is two... five minus two is three, and there are three persons of God. Just wait a minute while I fetch my pyre and gasoline... come here, you stupid animals...

Okay, I've just burned a whole ox. I'm looking into its' charred guts right now... I see something that looks like "RuvDraba" and I'm seeing a frowning face next to it.

I have to conclude that you were punished by God, sir. But that's no matter. Just buy three sacred doves from me for the low price of seven thousand dollars apiece and you should be able to make up for it. I'll even throw in some complimentary gasoline.
You can call me Mark if you like.
bulproof
Posts: 25,295
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4/30/2015 4:42:20 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Had you examined your kitchen, the theft was to distract you, you would have noticed that the dish had runaway with the spoon.
It's the oldest trick in the book.
debate_power
Posts: 726
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4/30/2015 4:47:32 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:42:20 PM, bulproof wrote:
Had you examined your kitchen, the theft was to distract you, you would have noticed that the dish had runaway with the spoon.
It's the oldest trick in the book.

*whispers* I'll give you a cut of my profits if you can somehow convince him to buy my sacrificial holy doves...
You can call me Mark if you like.
RuvDraba
Posts: 6,033
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4/30/2015 4:53:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:39:57 PM, debate_power wrote:
At 4/30/2015 4:28:46 PM, RuvDraba wrote:
At 4/30/2015 4:21:11 PM, debate_power wrote:
God was omnipotent and omniscient when he created the Earth (well, the entire universe from scratch, being somehow existent outside of existence). God knew that what he was doing would one day lead to your finding your shirts missing.
This is one of the reasons I'm now atheist, DP. It's what I call the Problem of Tastelessness. If God truly existed, then why bellbottoms? Bubble-skirts? Big hair? Shoulderpads? Plastic platform shoes with goldfish in?
I feel as though the more important question is: Why mullets?
I wonder if it had something to do with the long, pointy shoes from the Middle Ages, or those fat Renaissance doublets with the codpieces and hose. The Jews knew when they were betraying God's will, but they could at least rock a beard and sidelocks.
However, if our European ancestors were betraying divine taste, are we still being punished for it today? The sins of the father become retro fashion in the op-shops of the young, even unto the seventh generation.

What number of shirts were missing
All of them: the hot musk pink; the purulent yellow; the toxic green; and a navy one that I thought was doing no-one any harm. Even twenty years later, I can't get it out of my mind. It seems so indiscriminate and unfair.
Okay, I've just burned a whole ox. I'm looking into its' charred guts right now... I see something that looks like "RuvDraba" and I'm seeing a frowning face next to it.
Yes, that's definitely my face.

I have to conclude that you were punished by God, sir. But that's no matter.
Thank you for your thoughts, DP. My wife takes the other view. Though an atheist herself, when she saw those ten year-old shirts all gone, she wanted to go straight to the Church of St Francis and light a candle.
debate_power
Posts: 726
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4/30/2015 4:58:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Thank you for your thoughts, DP. My wife takes the other view. Though an atheist herself, when she saw those ten year-old shirts all gone, she wanted to go straight to the Church of St Francis and light a candle.

Glad to be of service. And please remember what I said about the doves.
You can call me Mark if you like.
RuvDraba
Posts: 6,033
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4/30/2015 4:58:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:42:20 PM, bulproof wrote:
Had you examined your kitchen, the theft was to distract you, you would have noticed that the dish had runaway with the spoon.
Hmm. Well, if it was God, in His wisdom he elected to scarper with a handful of 1980s shirts, yet do nothing to help rid us of our mismatched 1970s student crockery.

Perhaps it was a punishment... Or a warning: Seriously, Ruv... you should pay more attention to the consumer-goods with which you decorate your disturbingly nerdy life.
Pase66
Posts: 775
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4/30/2015 5:18:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 4:08:40 PM, RuvDraba wrote:
I've been either agnostic or an atheist all my life, but something inexplicable happened to me a while back, and I'd like some theological opinion on it.

It was the mid 1990s, and we were staying in a University flat with shared outdoor laundry facilities. It was a Sunday, and after doing the washing and hanging it out on the line, we went off for the day and came back that afternoon to find one of two shared washing machines missing, along with some laundry.

Now, here's the inexplicable thing: all my brightly-coloured 1980s polo shirts were missing from the washing line, and nothing else.

Was it a case of ordinary theft, divine intervention, or perhaps both? And if so, was God punishing me for my disbelief, or saving me from bad fashion-sense?

Any help appreciated.

Probably your poor taste in fashion, I mean, c'mon, brightly colored polo shirts are so 80's. Pick up your game, man!
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RuvDraba
Posts: 6,033
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4/30/2015 5:39:35 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/30/2015 5:18:25 PM, Pase66 wrote:
At 4/30/2015 4:08:40 PM, RuvDraba wrote:
Was it a case of ordinary theft, divine intervention, or perhaps both? And if so, was God punishing me for my disbelief, or saving me from bad fashion-sense?
Probably your poor taste in fashion, I mean, c'mon, brightly colored polo shirts are so 80's. Pick up your game, man!
It seems plausible, Pase. But here's what bothers me: if God is truly an omniscient and compassionate supervisory agency, why didn't He intervene in 1989, and make all the Indonesian stitching come apart?