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The Perfect Religion

Peternosaint
Posts: 1,166
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2/3/2016 5:53:41 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
I reckon it would be a great idea, for some, to have all the 4000 different Christian religions put out their dogma on plates, like in a sm"rg"sbord, and everyone go around and take the bits they want.

I would go for the faith healers first. Just think of the amount of money one could save on doctors and hospitals and stuff. I would even volunteer for others that are ill and can't get to the church on time. That way I could charge a fee and hand it over as a tithe.

Then, very dubiously, I would look at the Roman catholic offering. Naturally I would go for all the fun things like Xmas and Easter, add a dash of purgatory, limbo and of course I would reserve a cloud in heaven. Yes! I know it would cost me, but once the package deal was worked out and the paper work signed I could not go to church and just claim I am a Catholic. This is already available as there are practicing catholics and just catholics that don't need the practice.

Just so I can show my sincerity, I would take the six literal days of creation from the Baptists, and help them in putting on the speaking in tongue shows that they are in to these days. I have experience at that , as a young bloke in the bush I often spoke in tongues, but after I sobered up I lost it.

I think the Pentecostals have lost a lot of the charisma. They don't have their ankles break, when they go into a trance, so that they can squat and howl like dogs like they did in the early days...That would b e fun to watch. The snake biters put on a good show as well, and they were a branch of the Costals. It is a shame that the snakes didn't always play fair though.

To add a bit of the exotic, I would go to Haiti where the Catholics bless voodoo rites and inculcate them into the catholic religion there.

Hmm! Now let me think, what next.....
DanneJeRusse
Posts: 12,598
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2/3/2016 6:24:52 AM
Posted: 10 months ago
At 2/3/2016 5:53:41 AM, Peternosaint wrote:
I reckon it would be a great idea, for some, to have all the 4000 different Christian religions put out their dogma on plates, like in a sm"rg"sbord, and everyone go around and take the bits they want.

I would go for the faith healers first. Just think of the amount of money one could save on doctors and hospitals and stuff. I would even volunteer for others that are ill and can't get to the church on time. That way I could charge a fee and hand it over as a tithe.

Then, very dubiously, I would look at the Roman catholic offering. Naturally I would go for all the fun things like Xmas and Easter, add a dash of purgatory, limbo and of course I would reserve a cloud in heaven. Yes! I know it would cost me, but once the package deal was worked out and the paper work signed I could not go to church and just claim I am a Catholic. This is already available as there are practicing catholics and just catholics that don't need the practice.

Just so I can show my sincerity, I would take the six literal days of creation from the Baptists, and help them in putting on the speaking in tongue shows that they are in to these days. I have experience at that , as a young bloke in the bush I often spoke in tongues, but after I sobered up I lost it.

I think the Pentecostals have lost a lot of the charisma. They don't have their ankles break, when they go into a trance, so that they can squat and howl like dogs like they did in the early days...That would b e fun to watch. The snake biters put on a good show as well, and they were a branch of the Costals. It is a shame that the snakes didn't always play fair though.

To add a bit of the exotic, I would go to Haiti where the Catholics bless voodoo rites and inculcate them into the catholic religion there.

Hmm! Now let me think, what next.....

Reason.
Marrying a 6 year old and waiting until she reaches puberty and maturity before having consensual sex is better than walking up to
a stranger in a bar and proceeding to have relations with no valid proof of the intent of the person. Muhammad wins. ~ Fatihah
If they don't want to be killed then they have to subdue to the Islamic laws. - Uncung
Without God, you are lower than sh!t. ~ SpiritandTruth