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Does Jesus walk among us?

brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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11/3/2010 10:16:18 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Could Jesus Christ have returned to Earth and be walking the streets preaching the Word of God at this very moment?

If so, which streets would they be? Would He go back to The Holy Land, for instance?

Unlikely. The places where Jesus used to live are now either part of Israel or are occupied by Israeli forces - and given the fact that the Israelites killed Him the last time He was on Earth and that their decedents today are, if anything, even more brutal than their ancestors (the Israeli forces don't hesitate to label Arab youths throwing stones at their tanks as "terrorists" and gun them down in cold blood) - how do you think the Israelis would react if Jesus were to trash a synagogue like He did 2,000 and odd years ago?

I'll hazard a guess here: the Israelis would not only blow Jesus away but Mossad (the Israeli secret service) would hunt down and slaughter all His family, all His friends, any disciples He might have, and, most likely, they'd also massacre everybody He'd ever met as well!

No, it'd be far too dangerous for Him to return to Israel – and presumably the only reason He went there the first time was because, China aside, the Mediterranean area was the most civilised place on Earth at the time (why He didn't go to China, I don't know, perhaps He was allergic to soy sauce or something?)

So, where could He be now then?

Well, Jesus obviously likes His creature comforts -water wasn't good enough for Him when He was last on Earth so He used His magic powers to turn it into fine wine (John 2:1-11) and He also used His abilities to perform miracles to make money appear in the mouths of fish which He then used to pay His taxes and also to fund His lavish lifestyle (Matthew 17:24-27).

Therefore, Jesus would choose somewhere civilised and it would surely be a place with a large existing Christian following to make His life as easy a possible – trying to convince Muslims in Saudi Arabia to become Christians, for example, would be hard work enough, but there is precious little water there to turn into wine and, even if He did, He'd be arrested and stoned to death for drinking alcohol.

No, I'd say, if He's anywhere, He's probably somewhere in Texas where it is nice and sunny and they have plenty of great bars and restaurants and where almost everybody is already a devout Christian.

But how would we know? Obviously He wouldn't be called "Jesus Christ" this time – more likely Harold H. Gobsmacker III or something like that - and since the whole state crawling with evangelical preachers peddling divine forgiveness for cash - and every other ranch there is occupied by some living prophet-worshipping cult - it would be very difficult for us to distinguish the real "Jesus" from any of the other religious fanatics there.
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GrabYoSocks
Posts: 83
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11/3/2010 2:47:37 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I see him at every sporting event, at every rally. In the face of every person holding a sign that says 'I hate gays' among many other malicious words and phrases.
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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11/3/2010 4:51:20 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/3/2010 10:16:18 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Could Jesus Christ have returned to Earth and be walking the streets preaching the Word of God at this very moment?

If so, which streets would they be? Would He go back to The Holy Land, for instance?

Unlikely. The places where Jesus used to live are now either part of Israel or are occupied by Israeli forces - and given the fact that the Israelites killed Him the last time He was on Earth and that their decedents today are, if anything, even more brutal than their ancestors (the Israeli forces don't hesitate to label Arab youths throwing stones at their tanks as "terrorists" and gun them down in cold blood) - how do you think the Israelis would react if Jesus were to trash a synagogue like He did 2,000 and odd years ago?

I'll hazard a guess here: the Israelis would not only blow Jesus away but Mossad (the Israeli secret service) would hunt down and slaughter all His family, all His friends, any disciples He might have, and, most likely, they'd also massacre everybody He'd ever met as well!

No, it'd be far too dangerous for Him to return to Israel – and presumably the only reason He went there the first time was because, China aside, the Mediterranean area was the most civilised place on Earth at the time (why He didn't go to China, I don't know, perhaps He was allergic to soy sauce or something?)

So, where could He be now then?

Well, Jesus obviously likes His creature comforts -water wasn't good enough for Him when He was last on Earth so He used His magic powers to turn it into fine wine (John 2:1-11) and He also used His abilities to perform miracles to make money appear in the mouths of fish which He then used to pay His taxes and also to fund His lavish lifestyle (Matthew 17:24-27).

Therefore, Jesus would choose somewhere civilised and it would surely be a place with a large existing Christian following to make His life as easy a possible – trying to convince Muslims in Saudi Arabia to become Christians, for example, would be hard work enough, but there is precious little water there to turn into wine and, even if He did, He'd be arrested and stoned to death for drinking alcohol.

No, I'd say, if He's anywhere, He's probably somewhere in Texas where it is nice and sunny and they have plenty of great bars and restaurants and where almost everybody is already a devout Christian.

But how would we know? Obviously He wouldn't be called "Jesus Christ" this time – more likely Harold H. Gobsmacker III or something like that - and since the whole state crawling with evangelical preachers peddling divine forgiveness for cash - and every other ranch there is occupied by some living prophet-worshipping cult - it would be very difficult for us to distinguish the real "Jesus" from any of the other religious fanatics there.



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jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/3/2010 10:16:18 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Could Jesus Christ have returned to Earth and be walking the streets preaching the Word of God at this very moment?

If so, which streets would they be? Would He go back to The Holy Land, for instance?

Unlikely. The places where Jesus used to live are now either part of Israel or are occupied by Israeli forces - and given the fact that the Israelites killed Him the last time He was on Earth and that their decedents today are, if anything, even more brutal than their ancestors (the Israeli forces don't hesitate to label Arab youths throwing stones at their tanks as "terrorists" and gun them down in cold blood) - how do you think the Israelis would react if Jesus were to trash a synagogue like He did 2,000 and odd years ago?

I'll hazard a guess here: the Israelis would not only blow Jesus away but Mossad (the Israeli secret service) would hunt down and slaughter all His family, all His friends, any disciples He might have, and, most likely, they'd also massacre everybody He'd ever met as well!

No, it'd be far too dangerous for Him to return to Israel – and presumably the only reason He went there the first time was because, China aside, the Mediterranean area was the most civilised place on Earth at the time (why He didn't go to China, I don't know, perhaps He was allergic to soy sauce or something?)

So, where could He be now then?

Well, Jesus obviously likes His creature comforts -water wasn't good enough for Him when He was last on Earth so He used His magic powers to turn it into fine wine (John 2:1-11) and He also used His abilities to perform miracles to make money appear in the mouths of fish which He then used to pay His taxes and also to fund His lavish lifestyle (Matthew 17:24-27).

Therefore, Jesus would choose somewhere civilised and it would surely be a place with a large existing Christian following to make His life as easy a possible – trying to convince Muslims in Saudi Arabia to become Christians, for example, would be hard work enough, but there is precious little water there to turn into wine and, even if He did, He'd be arrested and stoned to death for drinking alcohol.

No, I'd say, if He's anywhere, He's probably somewhere in Texas where it is nice and sunny and they have plenty of great bars and restaurants and where almost everybody is already a devout Christian.

But how would we know? Obviously He wouldn't be called "Jesus Christ" this time – more likely Harold H. Gobsmacker III or something like that - and since the whole state crawling with evangelical preachers peddling divine forgiveness for cash - and every other ranch there is occupied by some living prophet-worshipping cult - it would be very difficult for us to distinguish the real "Jesus" from any of the other religious fanatics there.



Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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11/4/2010 2:58:36 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:
At 11/3/2010 10:16:18 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Could Jesus Christ have returned to Earth and be walking the streets preaching the Word of God at this very moment?

If so, which streets would they be? Would He go back to The Holy Land, for instance?

Unlikely. The places where Jesus used to live are now either part of Israel or are occupied by Israeli forces - and given the fact that the Israelites killed Him the last time He was on Earth and that their decedents today are, if anything, even more brutal than their ancestors (the Israeli forces don't hesitate to label Arab youths throwing stones at their tanks as "terrorists" and gun them down in cold blood) - how do you think the Israelis would react if Jesus were to trash a synagogue like He did 2,000 and odd years ago?

I'll hazard a guess here: the Israelis would not only blow Jesus away but Mossad (the Israeli secret service) would hunt down and slaughter all His family, all His friends, any disciples He might have, and, most likely, they'd also massacre everybody He'd ever met as well!

No, it'd be far too dangerous for Him to return to Israel – and presumably the only reason He went there the first time was because, China aside, the Mediterranean area was the most civilised place on Earth at the time (why He didn't go to China, I don't know, perhaps He was allergic to soy sauce or something?)

So, where could He be now then?

Well, Jesus obviously likes His creature comforts -water wasn't good enough for Him when He was last on Earth so He used His magic powers to turn it into fine wine (John 2:1-11) and He also used His abilities to perform miracles to make money appear in the mouths of fish which He then used to pay His taxes and also to fund His lavish lifestyle (Matthew 17:24-27).

Therefore, Jesus would choose somewhere civilised and it would surely be a place with a large existing Christian following to make His life as easy a possible – trying to convince Muslims in Saudi Arabia to become Christians, for example, would be hard work enough, but there is precious little water there to turn into wine and, even if He did, He'd be arrested and stoned to death for drinking alcohol.

No, I'd say, if He's anywhere, He's probably somewhere in Texas where it is nice and sunny and they have plenty of great bars and restaurants and where almost everybody is already a devout Christian.

But how would we know? Obviously He wouldn't be called "Jesus Christ" this time – more likely Harold H. Gobsmacker III or something like that - and since the whole state crawling with evangelical preachers peddling divine forgiveness for cash - and every other ranch there is occupied by some living prophet-worshipping cult - it would be very difficult for us to distinguish the real "Jesus" from any of the other religious fanatics there.



Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

You should have kept reading, the best bit is at the end...

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tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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11/4/2010 4:18:12 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:
Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Whoa. Respect -1
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jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/4/2010 12:07:56 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 4:18:12 AM, tvellalott wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:
Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Whoa. Respect -1

Whoa. Concern -5.

)
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/4/2010 12:14:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.

I tried again. I got half way this time!!!!

But seriously. It's like I've heard the same crap a million times. It has gotten rather boring. I guess that is why it seems like a copy paste, it's just so redundant and mindless. :(
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
Cody_Franklin
Posts: 9,484
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11/4/2010 12:17:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:14:30 PM, jharry wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.

I tried again. I got half way this time!!!!

But seriously. It's like I've heard the same crap a million times. It has gotten rather boring. I guess that is why it seems like a copy paste, it's just so redundant and mindless. :(

It's meant to be funny. Goodness.
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/4/2010 12:21:00 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:17:41 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:14:30 PM, jharry wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.

I tried again. I got half way this time!!!!

But seriously. It's like I've heard the same crap a million times. It has gotten rather boring. I guess that is why it seems like a copy paste, it's just so redundant and mindless. :(

It's meant to be funny. Goodness.

Sorry, I missed the punch line some where.

Oh wait, I'm the punch line. Maybe that's why I missed the "funny" part.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
GrabYoSocks
Posts: 83
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11/4/2010 12:21:42 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:17:41 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:14:30 PM, jharry wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.

I tried again. I got half way this time!!!!

But seriously. It's like I've heard the same crap a million times. It has gotten rather boring. I guess that is why it seems like a copy paste, it's just so redundant and mindless. :(

It's meant to be funny. Goodness.

Its hard for him to laugh about religious posts since he was probably "touched by god at his church."
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/4/2010 12:23:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 11/4/2010 12:21:42 PM, GrabYoSocks wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:17:41 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:14:30 PM, jharry wrote:
At 11/4/2010 12:11:09 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 11/3/2010 8:11:17 PM, jharry wrote:

Too long, got bored and stopped reading. Looks like a copy paste anyway.

Read it. Most likely it's hilarious if it's coming from Brian.

I tried again. I got half way this time!!!!

But seriously. It's like I've heard the same crap a million times. It has gotten rather boring. I guess that is why it seems like a copy paste, it's just so redundant and mindless. :(

It's meant to be funny. Goodness.

Its hard for him to laugh about religious posts since he was probably "touched by god at his church."

Like I said Cody, Some where I miss the funny.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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11/4/2010 12:27:08 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I used to find Brian funny, no he is very dull to me. Maybe it is just the same regurgitated stuff over and over. I don't know what it is.

He is still funny in other areas, but I guess when you see crap like this over and over it loses it's appeal.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen