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Interview with a theist

AWSM0055
Posts: 751
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2/23/2016 11:18:21 AM
Posted: 9 months ago
Me: Hello and welcome to the show!

Theist: hi...

Me: Do you have a name?

Theist: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Me:...well what is it?

Theist: Eddy.

Me: Eddy Ediot?

Theist: Yes, Eddy the Ediot

Me: What do you do Eddy?

Theist: I'm a traveller and preacher of God's great word.

Me: In other words, your an unemployed bum?

Theists: Well yes.

Me: Thats great. You must answer the following questions, best of luck. What is evolution?

Theist: The hideous notion that things morph into other things by mutating.

Me: Meeeh not quite. It's the adaption of an organism to its environment through genetic mutation and natural selection.

Theist: Thats what I meant.

Me: What is the definition of insanity?

Theist: Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

Me: Correct. Do you argue against evolution?

Theist: Yes of course.

Me: Correct. Do you listen to the evolutionists answers?

Theist: No.

Me: Correct. Why not?

Theist: Because my bible says they are wrong.

Me: Correct. Why do you argue anyway?

Theist: Because they never give answers!

Me: And why is that?

Theist: Because they're satanists.

Me: Noooo, try again.

Theist: Beeecaaause the bible says so?

Me: Not quite.

Theists: Because their tricky?

Me: No. "because you don't listen to the answer" is the correct answer.

Theist: Oh...

Me: What is one of your arguments against evolution?

Theist: Well firstly, where did the genetic information come from!

Me: Correct. How did so many variations of humans come about with only two in the beginning?

Theist: It's a mystery.

Me: Correct, where God come from?

Theist: It's a mystery.

Me: Correct. How is monotheism possible when you accept the trinity doctrine?

Theist: It's a mystery.

Me: Correct. Where do bad people go?

Theist: Hell.

Me: Incorrect. The answer was "prison".

Theist: I should've known.

Me: Where do good people go?

Theist: Heaven.

Me: No, the answer was "to their jobs".

Theist: Oh.

Me: What is an atheist?

Theist: A Satan worshipper.

Me: No.

Theist: A goat.

Me: Sometimes yes, but that isn't the answer here.

Theist: Ummm...a person who believes there is no God.

Me: No. The answer was "a person who lacks beleif/disbelieves in God or gods.

Theist: No it isn't, the dictionary states that atheist believes there is no God!

Me: Usually atheism is split up into two categories called "weak atheism" and...are you listening?

Theist: No.

Me: Correct! And after all that, you are still as much of an intolerable, annoying assh*ole as atheists are!

Theists: Go to hell you godless scum of the ea-

Fin
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"

Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."

Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"

http://explosm.net...
DavidHenson
Posts: 446
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2/23/2016 7:08:29 PM
Posted: 9 months ago
At 2/23/2016 11:18:21 AM, AWSM0055 wrote:
Me: Hello and welcome to the show!

Its great to be here, I was talking to Richard Dawkins And al Sharpton backstage. What a hoot.

Me: Do you have a name?

Of course.

Me:...well what is it?

David Henson. What's your name? I take it AWSM0055 isn't your Christian name.

Me: Eddy Ediot?

Works for me. hello Ed.

Me: What do you do Eddy?

What do you do?

Me: In other words, your an unemployed bum?

Projecting already? And the debate hasn't even started.

Me: Thats great. You must answer the following questions, best of luck. What is evolution?

Luck? I don't believe in luck. Evolution is a failed metaphysical experiment.

Me: Meeeh not quite. It's the adaption of an organism to its environment through genetic mutation and natural selection.

Mutation is hardly productive, certainly not sustainable, and by natural selection you mean eugenics?

Anyway. What does the predominant subject matter of the theoretical have to do with the subject of religion?

Me: What is the definition of insanity?

Mental illness, madness, irrationality.

Me: Correct. Do you argue against evolution?

I try not to. I would rather not. i really don't know or care enough about the subject.

Me: Do you listen to the evolutionists answers?

In the seventh grade, when I was an atheist, years before I became a believer in the Bible, I was taught evolution and dismissed it then as nonsense. I suspect I listen to them no more nor less than you would me.

Me: Why not?

Why?

Me: Why do you argue anyway?

The religiosity of it?

Me: And why is that?

They keep bringing it up?

Me: Noooo, try again.

It fits. If we evolved there must not be a God. The possibility of a God terrifies some.

Me: Not quite.

Sure.

Me: No. "because you don't listen to the answer" is the correct answer.

Does that apply to you regarding the theoretical or in, as you said, the generic?

Me: What is one of your arguments against evolution?

It's conjectural, speculation. Human in it's frailty or possibility of error. Self correcting, largely dependent upon interpretation.

Me: Correct. How did so many variations of humans come about with only two in the beginning?

Variations of humans? You mean variations of pigmentation, hair color, skin color, eye color? Are you suggesting that various forms of humans evolved from various forms of apes (or whatever) simultaneously? Lets see the math on that.

Me: Correct, where God come from?

Which God?

Me: How is monotheism possible when you accept the trinity doctrine?

I don't accept the trinity doctrine and I don't propose monotheism.

Me: Where do bad people go?

Where do they go? Define bad. When? The dead all go to the same place. The grave, i.e. the Hebrew sheohl (transliteration, Sheol) Greek Haides (transliteration, Hades).

Me: Incorrect. The answer was "prison".

Bankers? Politicians? Steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king. (Bob Dylan)

Me: Where do good people go?

"Good" people go to the same place as "bad" people. The terms are subjective. If you are referring to hell, that isn't a Bible teaching. You must have listened to the wrong theologians. Al Sharpton's got you messed up Henry Kissinger's got you tied up into knots.

Me: No, the answer was "to their jobs".

What if they are students or retired?

Me: What is an atheist?

Someone that doesn't believe in nor worships any gods. The antithesis of a theist.

Me: No.

Oh, metaphorically. Yes. It has great big teeth and a scabby buttocks.

Me: Sometimes yes, but that isn't the answer here.

Oh. It must be overly complicated.

Me: No. The answer was "a person who lacks beleif/disbelieves in God or gods.

That's what I said.

Me: Usually atheism is split up into two categories called "weak atheism" and...are you listening?

No.

Me: Correct! And after all that, you are still as much of an intolerable, annoying assh*ole as atheists are!

Well, of course I am. Who said otherwise?

Fin
"Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty." - Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune