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Interview with a Catholic
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3/8/2016 1:30:01 PM
Posted: 10 months ago
Host: Hello and welcome to the show! What's your name then?
Chloe: Chloe Clueless
Host: Hello Chloe, and thank you for accepting this interview!
Chloe: No problem.
Host: As a catholic, you believe in the trinity, is that correct?
Chloe: Well yes of course. Jesus is God, as clearly stated in the bible.
Host: What scriptures say this?
Chloe: Oh, you know, John 1:1.
Host: How can Jesus be God when there is only one God?
Chloe: Well it's quite simple really, the Son is God, the Father is God, and so is the Holy Spirit, but they aren't really three gods but one God.
Host: Otherwise known as "Daddy, Junior and Spooky".
Chloe: Sometimes yes.
Host: So how do you incorporate this trinity doctrine into the Gospels?
Chloe: What do you mean?
Host: Well, in the bible, Jesus preys to God. Since Jesus is God, who is he preying to?
Chloe: Oh come on, where does it say that?!
Host: Right here...
Chloe: .....Oh, so it does....and this part says Peter chopped someone's bloody ear off.
Host: Yes that's right.
Chloe: Oh, and this part says
Host: Yes, yes, that's correct, but we're going slightly off track now...
Chloe: I never knew it was so big, thick and black!
Host: Wut!?! 0_o
Chloe: This book here, the bible.
Host: Oh, right...
Chloe: What were we saying?
Host: Oh yes, trinity...how can Jesus be God and yet still prey to God?
Chloe: Because...erm...well you know...it's a mystery...
Host: Ahhh, yes. Of course it is!
Host: What about evolution? Do you as a devout Catholic accept evolution?
Chloe: Absolutely not!
Host: Well the Pope said it was true!
Chloe: Well then, I absolutely believe it. Monkeys banging and turning into humans. Is that it?
Host: Eh, close enough.
Host: That's all we have time for. See you next week!
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson
"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016
Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"
Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."
Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"