Total Posts:6|Showing Posts:1-6
Jump to topic:

Interview with an atheist

AWSM0055
Posts: 751
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/2/2016 4:33:24 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
This is a highly satirised joke regarding the stereotypes of atheists.

[NOTE FOR RETARDED THEISTS]

This is not accurate data for analysis.

[START]

Host: Hello and welcome to DDO interviews, I'm your host Dirk Smirkly! Tonight, we have special guest Lak O. Baleef. Welcome to the interview Lak!

Atheist: Mr. Lak.

Host: Right. So how would you describe your beleif?

Atheist: It's not a belief, it's a lack of belief. Different concepts...

Host: Right, so what do you lack belief in?

Atheist: The existence of an ultramundane being outside the realm of the universe that is also the sepreme ruler and creator of...stuff.

Host: So...God?

Atheist: Yeh. Just flexing my vocab...vocabal...vocabulal...word choice...

Host: Right, so you don't beleive in God?

Atheist: Nup. No sane person would.

Host: How do you view people who do believe in God?

Atheist: Mere intellectual scum, I tell you. Vomit of society. Worst of all, imbeciles.

Host: Well your a bit rude aren't you?

Atheist: Ad Hominem

Host: Ok then. So what do you believe besides your lack of belief?

Atheist: I believe that the universe got banged into existence. It got banged, and then the earth existed after intense sessions of star banging, which brought into existence other elements. Then after the earth got banged by some Mars-like planet, thus making the moon, it got roughly banged by asteroids. After that banging, simple form of life popped up through witchcraft and the wet dreams of Richard Dawkins. Then monkeys banged, then we existed, and we're still banging. It's could "Big Bang" theory. Lots of banging, I tell you. Oh, and I also practice mild satanism.

Host: Wow...that's intense. So you don't beleive in Genesis I take it?

Atheist: Where fairy man poofed into existence dustman and ribwoman, which subsequently ate a fruit causing the sins and death of mankind? Of course I don't believe in such utter lunacy! What do you take me for, a fool!

Host: So how did we evolve?

Atheist: Life banging, rinse and repeat. Then humans. Then other stuff. You know, random chance.

Host: So we just popped into existence from walking fish?

Atheist: No no no fish didn't walk, the whales did.

Host: So we popped into existence from whales then?

Atheists: No, monkeys!

Host: Monkeys?

Atheists: Chimps and and baboons.

Host: Well then...where do you get your morals from?

Atheist: My damn a**

Host: Really?

Atheist: Yes. Where else could you learn to not kill someone! Your brain! Don't talk such lunacy.

Host: You seem to act like your poop don't stink.

Atheist: That's because: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com...

Host: xD wtf I'm over dis

[FIN]
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"

Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."

Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"

http://explosm.net...
AWSM0055
Posts: 751
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/3/2016 11:47:35 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/2/2016 4:46:08 PM, Riwaaz_Ras wrote:
For the original -

http://www.debate.org...

Oh wow, you found it. I did base banging joke on that thread, I must admit.
"Evolution proves necessity is the mother of invention" - David Henson

"Calling my atheism a religion, is like calling my non-stamp-collecting a hobby" - MagicAintReal 2016

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Matt8800: "When warring men kidnap damsels of the enemy, what do they do?"

Jerry947: "They give them the option of marriage."

Matt8800: "Correct! You won idiot of the year award!"

http://explosm.net...
brontoraptor
Posts: 11,685
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/4/2016 2:48:50 AM
Posted: 8 months ago
Atheist: I need proof. There is none.

Bronto: Kalam Cosmological argument, Fermi Paradox, and prophecies coming true.

Crickets: chirp chirp chirp...
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."

http://youtu.be...
Chaosism
Posts: 2,674
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
4/4/2016 1:13:59 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
At 4/4/2016 2:48:50 AM, brontoraptor wrote:
Atheist: I need proof. There is none.

Bronto: Kalam Cosmological argument, Fermi Paradox, and prophecies coming true.

Crickets: chirp chirp chirp...

Bronto hears crickets because he runs away to avoid the replies...

Really, though, you have just refused to acknowledge the replies to these issues.

KCA: The premises rely on assumptions such as "everything that begins to exist has a cause", when we have never even witnessed something "begin to exist" in the first place. (except perhaps quantum fluctuations that appear to be uncaused). Additionally, if time isn't what we perceive it to be (i.e. B-Theory of time), then this argument also fails. This is a non-issue.

Fermi Paradox: In the very links that you've posted about this, there is about twenty possibly explanations that account for this supposed problem. This is a non-issue. (https://en.wikipedia.org...)

Prophecies: You haven't shown how biblical prophecies are reliable and contain significant specificity (details and timeframe in the verses) and that they are not simply self-fulfilling prophecies. This is a non-issue.

I have learned by now, though, that you are not here for discussion, just to express your beliefs.